All right, here we go. Quiet. Roll up. Hello, and welcome back to the Big Picture podcast, where we take a look at the latest movie news, the films of today and yesterday, and we are going to beat it into some sort of context.
Seated across the microphone from me, hopefully not with weapons near his person, is FilmBuffOnline editor-in-chief Rich Drees. And seated across the microphone from me, hopefully without a hammer in reach, is FilmBuffOnline contributing editor Natasha Boguski. And you broke me. God damn it.
Welcome back, guys. We will explain that reference when we get into our main review of Ballerina. But first of all, how are you doing today, Natasha? Almost done with the first glass of whiskey.
How are you doing for podcast consumption today? Full, I think. Media-wise, what have you been watching? What have you been enjoying?
Well, I finished up, finally, I went all the way through Andor. I'm all caught up on Doctor Who. Oof, there was an ending. We don't talk about that yet.
That's spoiler alert for those who haven't seen it. Nano Man, get yourself caught up. Actually, I've been revisiting a show. And when I say revisiting, I mean watching for the first time.
But it's an older show. When I say old, I mean like 10 years ago. I'm watching Into the Badlands for the first time. How is that?
I've never watched it. I think it's good. It's not brilliant. For those who love Wuxia-style martial arts in their media, it's got some great fight scenes.
My issue is, and the acting is very well done. Great cast across the board. And Nick Frost joined in season 2, and I'm just having a blast with him. Oh, wait, Nick Frost is in this?
Okay. Lance Henriksen is in it. Martin Koskas, Sarah Bolger, Emily Beecham is in it. There's a lot of great cast members to this show.
My major issue is the pacing feels off. And what I mean by the pacing feels off, it doesn't feel like it flows properly. I don't feel like there's a lot of great character moments. It feels like the characters are there to support moving the plot forward.
I don't feel like they have true arcs. Their arcs are the plot, and that is it. When I got done with season 1, which is only six episodes long, it gets longer for 2 and 3. I think they bumped it up to like 12 for each season.
By the time I finished season 1, I was sitting there going, That's the finale? That's a finale? We hit that already, and it doesn't feel earned. That being said, I'm enjoying it enough that I'm still going.
Well, that's good. I am currently watching a lot of stuff for the Tribeca Film Festival, which I'm rolling out on the site slowly but surely. I had a wonderful interview this afternoon with the producer of the Marc Maron documentary called Are We Good? Yeah, it was a great talk.
I figured I was going to get 15 minutes, and we wound up talking for half an hour. You seem to do that. Have you noticed that? Wait, no, I got to ask.
Is it more a case of you doing the talking or them doing the talking? Them doing the talking. Because you are a very talkative person. You can keep going.
I can make a minute or two to lead into a question, but then they'll give me like seven minutes of an answer. Oh, okay, then that's fine. But I had to ask that question because if I had to choose a D&D style gift, one, you'd be a bard. And two, your gift of the gab is beautiful.
You can go straight from one story into another, and by the time you're going, Oh, yay, I found the break. Wait, how did we get here? And it just keeps going. You're like, son of a bitch.
That's why we podcast. Exactly. It is a beautiful gift. I love it when people do that because it means that the conversation never feels boring.
It lasts forever. Well, sometimes a little too long, particularly if you get tired. Like, you and I can spend five, six hours just having conversations. And we have.
And we have, and we don't need to play a game. We don't need to go out anywhere. We don't need to watch anything. We don't need other stimuli.
We can just talk, and that in itself is its own stimulus. I love that about you. Aw, thank you. You're promoting you to hype man.
You're now my hype man. Are you kidding me? I've been your fucking wingman for like five years. Like, guys wish they had a female wingman as good as me.
I'm trying to think of the appropriate How I Met Your Mother cast character for you. I feel like I'm a Robin. You're my Robin, too. My Ted, maybe?
Certainly not my Barney. No, I don't want to say I aspire to be Barney because, let's face it, not the best character anymore. I don't think you're a Barney. I've never seen you as a Barney.
I'm hoping for a Ted. I'm a hopeless romantic. Yeah, you are. You are.
A hundred percent across the board. I would absolutely vote for you to be the next Ted in a How I Met Your Mother reboot when it takes place 20 years from now. No one wants to see a 75-year-old Ted. No, no, no.
Not takes place 20 years from now. I mean takes place in 20 years after we left off. So if they started shooting in a week, I would say you. We're getting kind of close.
I can't remember exactly how those dates line up, but we are close to when Ted is starting to tell the story to the kids. Aww. Yeah. But anyways.
Yes, so I will have that hopefully dropping on Saturday morning. The interview that I did with the producer of the Marc Maron documentary because that is screening on Saturday at the Tribeca Film Festival. Hopefully this will be out, too. Also, I talked to the director and producers of a Andy Kaufman documentary.
I talked with the director of a documentary that looked at Julia Sweeney's Saturday Night Live character of Pat, androgynous Pat from the 90s, that kind of examines that character, if it's good or bad representation, and how thought on that within the LGBTQ community has shifted over the years. It's a fantastic doc, and I hope it gets picked up. Julia Sweeney was also at that red carpet, and I got a chance to chat with her for a few minutes, which was nice, and she's a lovely woman. She was just so like excited and charming, and you kind of can't help but just like, oh, she's wonderful.
I don't know how anybody could ever be mad at this person. And I talked to a couple members of The State, that great sketch group from the early 90s on MTV. They have a documentary that has no distribution yet, too, that looks at their recent tour and how the fact that these guys have been together for 30 some years now, how individually and in various pairs have impacted comedy and American pop culture over these past three decades or so. And I've always been a fan of getting to chat with them, was a huge thrill.
Didn't get to talk to all of them in one person. One of them I got to talk to just a little bit, but I didn't get it on tape, but I'm probably not gonna use it for the article, but they did answer a question for me about something I was wondering about, and that's hopefully a situation they can straighten out. I'm so happy for you on that. Yeah, I know, you know how I was like, oh God, I gotta get this thing.
Oh God, yes. You were so nervous that it made me nervous for you. Thank you. You're welcome.
Aw. You see, this is what I'm talking about, gents. You wish you had a hype girl, a wing woman as good as me. That's right.
I also, been, the only thing I've been watching has been Poker Face. Of course you have. Of course. I love that show.
I think the second season is not as strong as the first season. It's not as, some of the stories aren't as twisty as the first season was. There's one or two where they take way too long to get to her intersecting with the actual murder mystery part, and then it feels kind of pro forma. You know, there's a lot of buildup and not a lot of time to let that.
Pay off. Second act of the story play out. Yeah. Although this week's, which was about some con men, and it's co-starred John Chu, was pretty fun.
I enjoyed it. It was one of the higher points of the season so far. And that's all I'm going to say on that. One other thing that I did want to talk to you about, and I didn't prepare you on this, so we're going to get your unfiltered reaction here in a moment.
Did you see the news about Spaceballs today? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Bill Pullman's coming back. Rick Moranis is coming back. I'm so happy. I'm happy for you guys.
You're not a big Spaceballs fan? No, I'm not. Technically, neither are you. Well, I like it.
I'm going to say the heretical thing here, and it's not Mel Brooks's best film. No, it's not. A lot of the jokes are really cheap for Mel Brooks. And he tends to go Borscht Belt comedy cheap at times.
And that's often adorable. I don't think it works quite as well in Spaceballs, whereas... I think Spaceballs is I grew up in the hood, man. And black people laugh at Blazing Saddles more than white people.
I think the use of the word, again, we've talked about this before. It depends on the context and the meaning behind it. And to illustrate that this town of Western white folks are a bunch of racist people is perfectly normal and allowable because they're shown to be idiots. They're never using it as, like, oh, it's cool to use this word.
No, I honest to God, and this is a modern day comparison for Blazing Saddles that I think is, like, Blazing Saddles air is Tropic Thunder. Yes. It's beautiful. And like I said, I know more black people who love that movie than white people.
But I would say Blazing Saddles, punch one. And then you come in with Producers one, which is your right punch. And then you come in with Blazing Saddles, the musical. That's your left punch.
Producers the musical. You said Blazing Saddles the musical. Oh, shit. Oh, we need a Blazing Saddles the musical.
Well, I'd be all for that. And also, when I was on vacation last year in Los Angeles, there was what, two or three times I sent you pictures right when I was standing somewhere. Yep. One was the house from...
How did he do great stunts with such small feet? No, I said that to you. No, that was this past April while I was at Turner Classic. That's right.
But my first trip was the Double Indemnity house. And when I was standing outside the Warner's gate where all the Blazing Saddles actors come running out of. And thinking to myself, there is a really nice little barbecue place down the road here on this block. And of course, the smokehouse is a couple of blocks down.
Of course. And the smokehouse is an important place if you have ever watched the studio on Apple TV. Watch it. It's so good.
But also, the reason why I say Blazing Saddles is... Not Blazing Saddles. God damn it, I got Blazing Saddles on the brain. I've had it on the brain for the last three days, actually, because I've been wanting to watch it.
Producers is punch two, is because both the original and the remake and the musical succeed where Young Frankenstein does not. Young Frankenstein got the original right. The musical is kind of eh, so much so that it did not get a movie. Okay, that's fair.
I will say this for High Anxiety, though. A few years back, they had that Mel Brooks interview kind of a thing, that documentary that was on HBO. And on it, he sang High Anxiety. You know, they gave him the microphone with the long cord so he could do the whip and all that stuff.
And I found it absolutely charming that he smiled through the whole thing, and I think he laughed a couple of times, too. Like, he finds this song so silly all these years later that it still amuses him to do that. And... Oh, we forgot one.
Oh. That I think is maybe punch three, if not punch four. Maybe tied with Young Frankenstein. History of the World.
History of the World's really good. Now, did you watch that History of the World Part 2 on Hulu? No, I did not. I can't bring myself to do it.
It's a variable quality. Damn. Yeah, he was kind of like more of an overseer on that. A lot of people did, you know, a lot of people came in and did different sketches and some of them are pretty good.
Some of them were a little eh. But, you know, I mean, it might be worth a watch if you're interested. I don't say it's a central Mel Brooks related material to, you know, sit down and consume and think about. Yeah.
That sounded enthusiastic. Yeah. It's been how long since that movie came out? And I still haven't watched it?
I don't think that's happening anytime soon. OK, that's fair. Like, I'll get to it when I get to it. To be honest, I completely forgot it existed until just this moment.
Yeah, I didn't either. I was like, oh, well, there was that thing. Anyways, let's kind of move into the meat of the episode here. Oh, there's meat?
Well, there's meat, there's blood, there's gore. There was the first cinematic John Wick spinoff from the world of John Wick. Ballerina, which opened this past weekend with Ana de Armas in the titular role of a ballerina who grows up in one of the mysterious clans of the underworld in John Wick. Called the Ruska Roma.
The Ruska Roma. And they do protection for people. And then she finds out that who the people are who murdered her father in front of her when she was just a wee tot. And, hey, it's a John Wick film, so she goes on a murder spree.
Reverse rampage and revenge spree. So, first of all, like I said, I qualified this as the first cinematic John Wick spinoff. Have you watched The Continental, the short TV series? No, I haven't yet.
I've been meaning to for, like, the past year. And I've been told it's good, and I just have not gotten around to it yet. I certainly didn't get the feeling that that was essential watching for Ballerina. I'm really hoping it wasn't.
Yeah, but it did feel like I was missing an explanation. Yeah, see, neither did I. It felt like it was just enough. OK, let's start with what everybody goes to a John Wick film for.
Deep character analysis. Pencils. No. Wait, what?
The action. Yes, of course. Lots of action. Virtually nonstop action.
With a few pauses here and there, but there wasn't long stretches where, you know, you're getting character or they're developing the story. It's a fairly linear story. You know, she finds out, yeah, we have the prologue where we see her father trying to protect her, and he dies. And Ian McShane shows up and says, Oh, I can take you somewhere.
That'll take you in. And she goes to the Ruska Roma. And then jump forward 12 years. You know, she's gone through her training.
She's a determined little shit. We see her first mission out. Kind of goes okay. And then a couple of months later, we jump, you know, forward ahead.
And then she finds out, oh, this guy here, who I just beat the crap out of, has the same mark on his wrist as the men who killed my father. And therefore, we're off to the races at that point. Yeah. You get triggered, and all of a sudden, you know, we have a puppy.
We have a dead puppy. We have to go avenge this thing. Yes. As I said to a friend I was talking with earlier today, you really must see the John Wick films because I absolutely approve of the idea of a man going on a four movie murder rampage because someone killed his dog.
So, a lot of the action. What did you feel about what the movie delivers? I think the action in this is solid. I think Anna de Armas holds her own.
You thoroughly feel that she does take a hell of a punch. Like, there are times where, yeah, she is getting her ass kicked, and she's not Supergirl. Like, she feels the pain. You can see she's fighting through it.
Which, that's one of the things I've always loved about John Wick movies. The first one, especially. The second one, okay. Three and four, come on, man.
He just fell 12 stories and hit his back off a freaking fire escape railing. He is not getting back up and limping away from that, let alone just jumping up or kipping up at this point. Fuck you. There is a bit of a power creep, power level creep there where...
It does become, it goes from feeling gritty and real and something that would actually happen into John Wick is now a superhero and does feel nothing and never gets hurt, and it's bullshit. I will agree with you there, and I think... As it goes on. I have to wonder, is that separate from the incredibly deeper and deeper lore that we get with these movies of all these new things that are revealed about this underworld?
It is separate from the lore. It is a side effect of we need to up the ante, but obviously our hero cannot die. But in order to keep the plot going, there is no way he can take a hit for too long. And our star is now 60 years old.
That too. So if we're getting... By the way, damn, Keanu, you are... 60 years old?
Yeah, I'd still ride that puppy across the fucking nation. Damn, girl. I got a thing for hams that I like six years old, okay? It ain't stopping anytime soon.
That's true. I know. But I like how this movie kind of brings us back down to a more grounded, realistic power level for our protagonist as they fight their way through their murderous revenge. There are a few times she takes some knocks that I'm just like, oof.
Oh, yeah, there were a couple where I was like, oh, ow. And she takes a moment to shake them off, at least. Yeah. And I like that they addressed, too, the idea of, you know...
She's not all-powerful. She gets her ass kicked every now and then. Well, the fact that she's, like, half the size of some of these people she's fighting. And, you know, it's right there in one of those training scenes early on.
It's addressed. Cheat. Fight like a girl. Fight with To no end.
Because I feel, yes, does it trigger mama bear syndrome? Absolutely. Have we seen it done by every woman in a Hollywood to ever pick up any sort of weapon, even if they are not a fighter? Yes.
Give me someone who is just damn good at their job and is not either in a romantic love interest or has a weakness for fucking kids. I was sitting in the car the other night with a friend trying to talk through this. And the only things that were coming to my mind were Atomic Blonde and Lara Croft. Okay.
Have you seen Ready or Not? Yeah, I have. I don't think she has the weakness for kids. There's no kids in that movie.
There's no kids in that movie, but it's not an action movie. It's a horror movie. She's a final girl. Okay.
Well, she's a final girl because she's the only... You know, the only protagonist in the movie. But that's the cliche in the genre that they're choosing to go with. I'm talking Ripley, Sarah Connor, the bride, Elizabeth Swan in freaking...
And here's the thing. Elizabeth Swan, for me, is one of the best written action heroes of all fucking time across those three movies. She grows at a reasonable rate. She's intelligent.
She's adaptable. She knows how to use her surroundings. She knows how to use people. She's quick on her feet.
She doesn't always have to draw her sword, but when she does, get the fuck out of her way. She's brilliant. But she's still part of a love... Not so much a triangle.
Trazoid, maybe? Yeah, she is in a dynamic of that that she is partially defined by and partially motivates her growth. Here, Ballerina is a solid fucking action movie in terms of a story. It's a woman with daddy issues who has a weakness for other kids.
Where have we seen that before? Pick any action movie off your shelf with a female heroine and you've got it. Okay, that's a fair critique. And honestly, it's one I didn't think about.
Maybe because I'm a dude and sometimes I don't... You know, I'm not normally wired to think that way. But you are absolutely right. It's the maternal instinct.
The generic... I don't want to say... Okay, yeah, I am gonna say generic because apparently it's supposed to be built into the majority of women. I, myself, have two stepsons that I love very much that I have raised into fine men.
I'm very proud of them. But in terms of a maternal instinct for little babies and very young kids, I sit at a restaurant and I turn into Bella Baxter if I hear a screaming baby. I know, I've seen you do it. It's like nails on a blackboard for me.
I love all my nephews and nieces. They're wonderful. They're starting to have their own kids. I'm a great uncle.
My friends have kids who I think are wonderful people and have grown up to be outstanding human beings. Which is amazing, considering some of my friends. Salt is another one I would throw into the mix because I can watch that and there's a revenge of someone killed my husband. Okay, yes, that sends you down a road.
But there's no kids involved and she's not falling in love with anyone else during the rest of the time. Okay, yeah, that's a good one. She's just really damn good at her job. But as I was saying, I never wanted kids of my own.
But even when I was married, I stepped up and was, I think, a pretty good stepdad. So, it's sometimes weird that they don't recognize that there are people out there who want to be childless in these kind of things. And that's not going to be a trigger for them. Well, I actually, I went to see Deadpool with, Deadpool 2 actually, with a friend several years ago.
And they had been having fertility issues for a long time. And so much so, at one point, it almost killed them. And so we went in, and I'd already seen the movie once. They start getting ready to talk about, in the opening, about, oh, here's my IUD.
Let's try to start a family. And then two minutes later, Vanessa is shot and killed. And I was like, I leaned over to my friend and I was like, you might want to leave the theater right now. And I will send you a text when it's okay to come back in.
Because I'm like, I know this is gonna be a hundred percent a trigger for her. A hundred percent a trigger. Because some things were just really fresh. I've been in a similar situation, and that's not my story to tell publicly, but I understand.
That's why I'm not naming any names. But given that situation, sometimes it's great for women to have, I don't wanna say a role model, but they want to go to a movie. They want to see a woman kick fucking ass. And they don't wanna be sitting there worried about, oh God, there's a kid involved that's in danger and I'm trying to have a family and I can't.
And I feel like I can't protect myself, let alone any kid that I would ever try to have. Like there are triggers for people. And I'm not a person who likes the idea of putting a trigger warning on films. I think that if people go to the cinema, you need to experience something.
And sometimes it can be, art is a catharsis and it allows you to work through things. And if you try to avoid that, you may be hurting yourself more than helping yourself. Exactly, instead of healing yourself or giving yourself an outlet to feel and try to work through that in a healthy way. I know some people are a little more extreme in how they handle things than others.
I have always found film, for me, to be a great outlet for putting myself into their shoes to work through something. Now that being said, come on, give us someone who is just badass, who doesn't need to fall in love, who doesn't need to settle down and have a family. What if it is just someone who wants to be really good at what they do and has a career doing it and they're actually just fucking happy doing it because they receive a satisfaction from doing a good job. Show me a soldier, show me a female spy assassin or soldier who that is all they want in life is to be the best at what they do.
Give me that. And that's one of the reasons why I go back and I revisit Atomic Blonde so much. Yeah, is there a small little romance in there? Yes.
Is it sticking around? No. And even after Delphine ends up dead, yeah, does she feel it for a moment? Yes.
Does she feel gaslighting's murder at the beginning? Yes. Does it stop her from doing her job or conflict her or trigger her or give her trauma? No.
She compartmentalizes enough to keep going because at the end of the day, the world is at risk. That is your priority. Here, Eve McCarrow, our ballerina, throws everything away for vengeance instead of saying, there is, there's something more important than myself. And I like that idea better.
Okay, so you got certain things out of this movie that I did not. Oh, I had a fucking blast at this. I wanted to see her beat the shit out of people, throw ice skates, use a flamethrower. I was like, oh, that sounded wrong.
I will say, the one thing I know you were disappointed about Gabriel Byrne's character was because the second he walks in, you went, here we go. Yeah, I got so fucking excited and I felt like I got gypped. And hearing you complain about that just a few moments ago, I was like, oh, that was not a good part of this film for her. No, I feel like I got gypped.
I mean, even in Hereditary, which I think is a phenomenal horror film. I think that's one of the best horror films we've had in the past 20 years, Hereditary. Him as the father, I feel like he gets the, to use Marilyn Monroe in Some Like It Hot, the fuzzy end of the lollipop out of the four main members of this cast. Plus Anne Dowd.
He is bottom barrel. The kid with the gets better work than he does. And that just hurts. It is a bit of a bummer.
Hopefully his agent learns to read better. I don't know. I don't know what the answer here is, but yeah, it is. I will go with you that it is a little disappointing that he is not where we would like him to be in terms of doing some great dramatic work and not just kind of slumming it these days.
Overall, though, I don't know. I'm not sure what this movie lacked that I needed out of it. But part of me, as I was driving home the other night after we'd seen it. Something unfulfilled.
I was like, yeah, it's okay. It was fun. A lot of good action. I don't know if I wasn't, you know, I mean, she's properly motivated as a character.
I'm not sure I felt the stakes about if she doesn't, if, you know, she's not called off, you know, these two factions are gonna go to war and it's gonna get ugly. I don't know if I would have loved to see more of like the Ruska Roma actually readying themselves for war as if they had just received notice that this could be happening in about 20 minutes' time. Yeah, something a little bit more about them as what they are. Because between their two appearances.
I still don't know enough about the Ruska Roma to give a fuck. Yeah, exactly. We got a little bit of them in, what was it, John Wick 3? 2.
2 is when that crossover. Yeah, no, it Yeah, I think you're fine. You don't need a refresher going into this. Just go in, sit down, have a good time, shut your brain off, which is the hardest thing for me to say, but for some reason, the John Wick movies, I know what I'm getting.
I'm not looking for meat and potatoes here. It just makes certain the steak is bloody, and we're going to have a great time. Yeah, I'll give you that. Yeah, it's not high art, but it's fun art.
Exactly. Where do you want to see this franchise go? Like we mentioned before, they're talking about a fifth John Wick film. Oh, God, please be dead.
Just let him. Let him be at peace. But yeah, the actor is 60. He's 60 years old.
It's gonna get embarrassing if they keep going on after a certain point. And we have the Donnie Yen character getting his own movie. I think that's due next year. What do you see as possibilities for continuing exploring this world?
You're asking me. You're asking me, do I remember who's still alive in the John Wick universe? Seriously? Or do we even care?
Do we just want to leave whatever mysteries about the high table and this or that all? I can tell you right now. I want to know. You want to know who I want to have their own fucking spinoff?
Hit Yuki Sonata. But he's dead. He's the one I want. And he's the one I'm not going to get.
All right. Sorry. So watch anything with that man. He is good in everything I've ever seen him in.
Even when he's just like a bit role. Like fucking Rush Hour 3. The moment he showed up on screen, I'm like, I'm in. I'm watching this now for that man right there and nothing else.
Yeah. Well, nothing else worth watching in Rush Hour 3. And I say that as a Jackie Chan fan. I don't like the Rush Hour movies.
Oh, my God. Controversial hot take incoming. Here we go. Actually, I used to shit on the Rush Hour movies because I'd only seen bits and pieces here and there.
And I'm like, I'm going to fucking hate this so much. The day after we got back from the plaza for my 30th birthday, I popped a bottle of champagne. I grabbed the cake that we got at the plaza. I sat down.
I slipped that cake between me, my husband and our friend Brandon. And I watched all three movies in one night. And I never had such a good time in my entire life. Champagne probably helped.
Oh, well, being drunk does help a little. But that just made me enjoy it all the more. I really had a fucking blast with all three movies. Well, I'm glad you found something to enjoy.
Oh, my God. I did. I love them. I love them.
In fact, I already want to rewatch all three. Again, like John Wick, it is just shut your brain off. Enjoy a couple of jokes. Enjoy some martial arts.
Shang-Chi is hot. Hiroki Sonata is always a pleasure. Chris Tucker. Oh, hell no.
I was like, I felt that in my bones. Like I said, you know I am not a Chris Tucker fan, though. You know that about me. I am not either.
You know that I've referred to him as the cinematic equivalent of sand in your bathing suit. Oh, wow. That might be a little harsh. I don't like Chris Tucker either.
That being said, for me, he was the best part of Fifth Element. Now, that's a hot take. That is scorching hot. That and the costumes.
I was around for the Jean-Paul Gaultier and the Chris Tucker hamming it up and the rest of it could go eat shit. I don't know. I like all the stuff on Earth with Bruce Willis and the cab and everything because that felt very much like an animated version of that one sequence in Heavy Metal. Okay, yeah, that's fair.
And I'm pretty certain that's where John Lucas took Coruscant from. George Lucas. Coruscant, actually. You said John Lucas.
Oh, fuck it. That's his brother. No, I think Coruscant more kind of reaches back to Isaac Asimov's Foundation series with Trantor. Not Trantor, but the capital planet that was one city.
You're going too nerdy. I know. You're going too nerdy. I know.
I'm just thinking visuals. Visually, it's like three, four. It came out, what, three years? Phantom Menace came out, what, three years after Fifth Element?
About that. So, yeah, you could be right. There could be some influence there. Yeah.
For me, Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan is a match that works so well. I don't know why it works, but it works. I'm not a big fan of a lot of Jackie Chan's U.S. stuff.
The Tuxedo is garbage. Hot steaming garbage. If there's one thing my ex-wife and I still agree on, it's that The Tuxedo sucks, and she was wrong for picking that for a movie for our movie night one time. She probably picked it because she knows you like Jackie Chan and did not know that it was going to be as bad as it was.
But she did, but she still turned to me afterwards and said, I'm sorry, I don't think that was very good at all. And I was like, honey, you are absolutely correct. That was not very good at all. Oh, wait, that was something you and your ex-wife actually agreed on?
Yeah, I know. Crazy. That might be the nicest thing you've ever said about your ex-wife. I've said plenty of nice things about her.
I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I still... Never mind.
But if I had to choose the two different franchises Jackie Chan was doing in his Hollywood stuff, I would choose the Shanghai Nights movies over them. I'm not a big Western guy either, but I don't... They seem a little bit more fun. There was a little bit more of playing with history and stuff.
I mean, yes, it plays with history and all that, but I don't think Owen Wilson and him work as well as Chris Tucker. Really? Well, Owen Wilson's too chill. That is true.
Whereas in the Rush Hour movies, I think both of them have an energy. One is more verbal, one is more physical, and so they balance each other where they are lacking. I can see your point. It's just the verbal energy in those movies...
Is very high, but it has to be just as high in order to match the physical energy. It irritates the crap out of me. That's what the problem is. Well, I guess I grew up around a lot of people like that, so I get it.
I'm not saying that in a kind way. Just him, particularly. Maybe another actor in that role would have been better. Who would you have chosen?
Because Eddie Murphy, I think, is a little too much. Eddie Murphy would have been a little too old, I think. Eddie Griffin from Undercover Brother, I think, would have been really good in that role as well. I'm going to be honest, I have no clue who that is.
It's an underappreciated, underseen spy spoof. Kind of like a lighter in tone Black Dynamite. Black Dynamite came along several years later. This man never really broke into film.
No, he didn't. And I think he's a funny guy, and I think he would have been just as interesting, if not more so, in Chris Tucker's role. If you were going to choose anyone else, I would have said Chris Rock. But I think Chris Tucker here...
No, you needed a squirrel. You needed someone who would bounce off the walls. Because that's exactly what Jackie Chan does. He is a physical representation of I bounce off the walls.
So you need someone who is just as extreme on the verbal side to balance each other out. Because where one is lacking in the charisma and the gab, that's where the other one comes in. One is brain, one is brawn. And I can't believe I call Chris Tucker brain.
He's charisma, but he's quick on his feet. He thinks fast, he talks fast. Yes. He is going to stun you with how fast his mouth moves that by the time you catch up, he's already around you.
Because you're still sitting there going, what did he say in sentence 3? And he's already on sentence 12 and he's already gone around you. And you're like, what? Wait, wait, get back here!
That's the energy that you needed. And I think it works. You're right about it's the energy needed for that. It's just not a personal thing for you.
Yeah, it's Brussels sprouts. Some people like Brussels sprouts, some people don't like Brussels sprouts. Don't you come at Brussels sprouts. Look, look, look!
That's my go-to analogy. And I'm happy you enjoy Brussels sprouts. You've never had a good set of Brussels sprouts made for you then. You're insulting my dead mother.
Did your mother used to boil Brussels sprouts? No. Okay, good. Anyways, let's move on, though.
Do you have any other thoughts, opinions, consternations? Consternations? That's a fucking phrase or word I haven't heard in a long time. About ballerina.
Remember? The movie we were supposed to be talking about? Yeah, one other thing I'd like to say about it. Does she ever change her clothes?
I would hope so. Because it felt like she wore the same outfit for three quarters of the movie, including the post-credit. Which feels like it extends across how many days? Exactly.
Including travel time. And I was like, girl, you just got paid $750,000 and you can't buy a secondary outfit