Welcome to the Big City, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants, just walking past tables, to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. Has that happened to you guys? I've done it.
And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, Fatface, and the habitual liar. This episode of the Dan Lebitard show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Starttlety day, starttlety day, TTC is starttlety day.
Starttlety day, starttlety day, TTC is starttlety day. Starttlety day, starttlety day, TTC is starttlety day. Starttlety day, starttlety day, TTC is starttlety day. Luka Doncic had more points in the month of March for the Lakers than Anthony Davis had his entire time with the Mavericks.
No, one more time? At first, I thought you were going to say with the Lakers. I was like, that would be— No, no, no, no. But it's feeling that way.
But one more time? Only 10 players have ever scored 600 points in a month. Luka went for 40 again last night, and so he had more points in the month of March, more than 400, than Anthony Davis had in the entire time he was with the Mavericks. Now you see the vision.
Weird. So basically, what you got back for Luka Doncic didn't score as much as Luka Doncic just scored in a month for the Lakers. What you got back for him, it's why it'll go down as, you know, the worst trade in the history of the sport. That said, though, and I knew Luka was good.
I think we all knew Luka was good, but this? Like, what is this? We all knew he was good, but the idea that he's scoring right now at Michael Jordan levels, Michael Jordan's greatest season, the year Michael Jordan averaged 37 in a season, correct? He is doing, over the last month, Michael Jordan things offensively, where it's just an unstoppable offensive thing, even though he's always been an unstoppable offensive thing.
And one of the reasons I find this so cool and interesting, kind of quietly, while Steph and LeBron are still around, they've handed over the league to the other guys. Like, the other guys have taken the league, where you're like, Jokic and SGA and who's next? They've been able to transition out of that in a way that's been pretty exciting because the offensive play is so good and we love offense so much. Yeah, and the crazy thing is those guys are still great, right?
It's not just that the transition has started to occur, it's the transition is occurring without them having the drop-off of like, oh, I'm just the seventh guy on this bench trying to get my 10 points a night or whatever. So that's a really cool part. But yeah, Jokic, I mean, excuse me, Doncic, maybe I'm desensitized. There's no part of this that's shocking to me.
And not even the Anthony Davis part, because again, that's what made it a bad deal. It wasn't a bad deal because in retrospect, wow, that really didn't work out with the Mavericks. It was a bad deal on the date it was done because we knew your concerns, Nico Harrison, were with the durability of your young superstar. So why would you go out and get an old superstar who also has durability issues?
We're in the midst of the most unpredictable run in the history of NBA basketball when it comes to champions and title contenders. It's been, for some, maybe too wide open. That's really good now with these players coming online and developing to the point that they are. Because as I mentioned, you have some of the old guard.
Harden's with the Cavs. Durant's going to be in the equation with the Rockets. LeBron's still there. But you have these young, new faces.
I wouldn't necessarily count Jokic there. He's a multiple-time MVP and he's won an NBA championship. But you have these faces of these franchises that are all really good teams and all the sport needs really at this moment in time is an exceptional playoff. And I think we're going to get it, too.
Because these series, the way that it's mapping out, looks like they're going to be hotly contested. That is going to be so huge for the sport at this point in time. Yeah, look, the playoffs are going to be great. You look at the Eastern Conference, the difference between, what is it, 3 and like 6 is a game and a half, two games, whatever.
You look at the Western Conference, between 4 and like 7 is the same situation. So we're going to get hotly contested playoffs right from the first round. And I think what we have better than great players is we've got two guys who have personalities. Victor Wimbanyama and Anthony Edwards.
I think that's, when we talk about handing over the reins, Dan, you need a personality to carry it. Because it can't just be cold, quiet, calculated efficiency. Tim Duncan couldn't handle those reins, not because he wasn't good enough as a player. He's an amazing player, but just he didn't have the personality.
Oh, but you don't need all of them to have personality. You need 7, 10 guys who are great that we're going to have an interest in to go up against the guys with the personality. Larry Bird had quiet personality, but he wasn't... We can go back throughout the history of time here.
The fact that we've got nine guys that are competing for best in the league and the fact that they are one-upping each other while trying to win the MVP trophy, that Luka's playing the best basketball you've ever seen. Him shooting 40% from three during the stretch when everybody's trying to stop him and doing it for that franchise. I want to ask you for your expertise on something, though. The Lakers stink at defense.
They do. They've been better recently because opponents are shooting 32% from three, but it's not because they're guarding them any better. It's weird. People are shooting poorly against them.
And furthermore, where they have gotten better, and this is helped their defense, they're turning the ball over a lot less. And so the numbers going the other way on fast breaks against old guys are not... That has not been happening over three weeks. I have said for a while, that team can't win the championship playing defense that way.
I still think so. I think it's a bad stretch of shooting. But can they fix that? Because if they can fix that, and you've got Luka, you've got the things you need to win a championship against an OKC or anybody else, I just think they're bad at defense and are going to be bad at defense in the playoffs.
Now, when you say, can they fix that? Is this an April Fool's thing that we're doing here? Because if so, hold on. I have my friend here who'd like to chime in.
Bla, it's me, Fibula. And yes, of course they can fix it. I love this day. Now you're going to tell me who Fibula is on the front end to telegraph your joke as you announce who you're impersonating, the lying vampire.
Does April Fool's Day have the same kind of juice that it has for you in the past? I think every day is. Right. I've been approaching the internet as if everything's been fake for close to a year now.
So, April Fool's Day, you've got to work harder than that. Like, it's crazy how conditioned I am now. We are so cooked because I don't trust anything anymore. We killed April Fool's Day.
I think everyone is on guard every day now. I approach the way, the internet, the way you would approach an electric socket with your hand wet. Like, yeah, I don't trust anything on any day. I have to run, like, several searches to get three sources to back up what I'm seeing.
I'm scrutinizing everything because AI is so advanced. Everything appears real that April Fool's Day is just a Wednesday. I love that, Mike. I have to go look for multiple sources.
Yeah, that's what you should have been doing the whole time. That's the thing I've been saying this whole time. It started with all these fake, like, breaking news. Klay Thompson is getting bought out.
He's signing with the Spurs. Adam Schefter. I'm like, guys. Barry McOchner.
Yeah, it's not that hard. Like, wow, that's pretty big news. Let me see who else is reporting it. Yeah, I think you're talking to, like, the audience.
Like, I've known this. Like, as soon as the blue checks were just a free-for-all, like, we've been on our toes right now. Like, especially for a show like ours. Like, trying to suss out what's real and what's fake.
But I got to say, like, I think post-truth has really killed April Fool's Day. Put it on the poll at LevitardShow. Has April Fool's Day been killed? Because I think that happened quietly, but I think it did indeed die.
And we will be talking later in the show to Brett Ehrlich. Mike Ryan was very excited when he heard he was going to be on with us. About what Twitter has done and what Elon Musk has done specifically to that algorithm to bleep with democracy. Yes, I mean, that's what the intention is.
This is hugely intentional for you to not know what's real. Because then the defense of fake news, it holds water because so many different things Hey, Roy buddy, you know that energy shift when the game gets good and everybody, all together, in unison, knows to stand up on their feet? Oh, absolutely, Mike. Yeah, you've been at many big-time sporting events.
You know that moment quite well. That's what it's like when you take your first sip of Cuervo. Oh, delicious. It's the signal that says, we're not checking the time anymore, pal!
It's when small talk turns into stories! Cuervo, man. It's that high-five a random stranger effect. That's right.
The game is popping. You're hugging people you never met before. That's the kind of energy that Cuervo brings. It's so smooth, so delicious.
That's the Cuervo effect. Keep it Cuervo. Hey, it's Mike Ryan, and I want to talk to you about the random midweek hang that you have with your friends. Maybe it's an NBA game.
You get a text, hey, come over. You want to watch the game? And maybe you're like, ah, I don't know. I kind of just wanted to stay home.
And then you think about it. After your buddy hits you up, and you know just the thing that'll make that regular hang, that regular midweek hang around the basketball game into a special time, into a Miller time. That's right. This happened to me just last week.
I grabbed a six-pack of Miller Lite, said I was on my way. And the next thing you know, we're arguing about rotations like we're on the coaching staff, yelling about a missed call, and the game's coming down to the final possession. It was one of those nights that you look around, you take a sip, and you think, yeah, this was the right call. And my friendship's stronger for it.
Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.
It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
Dan Libetard. This is the quickest it goes. Hey, this is the quickest it goes. Stugatz.
Everybody, this is the quickest it goes. Yeah. This is the Dan Libetard show with the Stugatz. You mean to tell me that you don't feel a rumble at all?
No. A rumble? I think he has lived in this kind of discomfort for so long that he is almost completely numb to it. Do you guys remember when former UFC champion Daniel Cormier was on with us and his alarm, the alarm on his fire alarm kept beeping because the battery was dead?
The smoke detector. The smoke detector. Alarm of the fire alarm. Thank you.
The soundtrack of many recruiting interviews. When we're trying to talk to Daniel Cormier, we said to him, Hey, you've got to get that battery fixed. And his response was to like, You guys can hear that too? Because I've been hearing that for months.
Where is that sound coming from? He doesn't hear his own stomach make these sounds because he's been living with these sounds for so long that he's numb to them. No, nobody hears their own stomach. Greg, your stomach is making these kinds of sounds.
If you don't hear it, you should at the very least feel it. That kind of sound has to come with a physical feeling that's running through your stomach. No, I, uh, like when I have dancing swords, I feel that in a lower region. What number is that?
It may make the list. Ooh, a little tease. There you go, Dan. You wanted one.
We'll see. You know, souffle's in the oven. What number is that? That's a callback.
No, he's right. He's right about that. Thank you. I wanted to get to, and I'm too late in getting to it, a news that was, I would say, fairly unusual yesterday, even though all of us could have seen it coming.
It has been a really long time since Tiger Woods was a meaningful competitive golfer. He exists in an area unlike most others who have ever played games in that he was so dominant and in his sport, people can win old, that there is a large contingent of people who move the ratings in golf because they think he can still win when he can't. This has been the case for damn near 15 years, but that hope keeps him so relevant that when he goes to rehab, even though it's not unexpected because all of us were shouting some form of somebody get him help. He needs help.
Tiger, please get yourself some help because everyone was seeing some of the symptoms of addiction when you keep turning over your car and the police find pills on you and you've already turned over your car in the way that almost made you lose a leg. And I've been talking about the seven back surgeries and the pain of the seven back surgeries. Can you look up how many leg surgeries he's had as well? Just because I imagine if you guys have ever talked to anybody who's had nevermind minor back pain, but just chronic back pain and now multiply that by whatever is seven surgeries and I'm going to guess he's had 15 leg surgeries as well.
This guy has been medicated for a long time in order to do what he still tries to do because it's who he is, but can no longer do that way at all because his body has failed him. Grand assault with Google AI overview, but five knee surgeries, two Achilles tendon procedures. We just talked about this, Mike. Well, I program it and that's why I couched it.
Like he's in the middle of the point that you're interrupting. How did you receive the news, Greg, when you saw something that I think we're all made sad by, but I do. I have not talked to your son about this, who's a golf fan. I believe, and I know riches make it so that it makes it very hard for people to absorb what I'm about to say.
I believe that Tiger Woods is a prisoner in his own body and that that body is racked with pain and his life is far less lovely than we imagined it probably could be with all of that money and access. I have an eternal fascination with Tiger Woods and I have for 30 years. I think he's one of the most interesting athletes and post athletes in my lifetime. I think Tiger Woods is still the biggest thing in golf, even though it's been four years since he's played on tour with any regularity because of all these injuries.
I wish him well. I'm glad that he's taking care of himself or appearing to make an effort to take care of what has been a pretty obvious problem of his for years. Do you think I have this wrong, though, in citing as unusual, how unusual the hope is that a 50-year-old, this guy's close to my age, that a 50-year-old still, he can win the Masters. Golf guys can win when they're old.
That hope makes him a still relevant athlete. It's more relevant than just about anyone else going to rehab outside of LeBron. Like in American sports, in American sports, we talked about Steph Curry and LeBron giving over the league. Tiger still hasn't given over golf.
The numbers spike every time he does anything. If he played, if he were to play, and he won't now, I'm sure, if he were to play in the Masters next week, the TV ratings would be up 20%. And if he made the cut and played on a Sunday and was only three back or whatever, it would be like a major deal. Let's talk about, though, the lack of precedent for what it is that you're witnessing.
An athlete in his 50s is supposed to be washed up. This is someone who, I don't know, how many years are we from what is the relevant playing career of Tiger Woods, the merit-based excellence? How long has it been since Tiger Woods could reasonably be considered to possibly win a tournament? He won the Masters in 2019.
So it's been about that long. And it was an incredible comeback story that had everyone glued to their television. That makes people think that he could do it again six years later. Right.
It's the possibility. And you see that in golf in a way you don't see it in other sports. Up until a few years ago, Freddie Couples had a reputation of being the old golfer who would really rise in the majors and make a cut. Oh, Freddie Couples at the Masters getting people excited.
Dan, you remember Tom Watson at the British Open? Yes. I just texted the PTI guys. Just texted them.
You know what I miss? The people who produce PTI. You know what I miss most about all things ESPN? That first round Thursday of the British Open when I could talk about Jim Furyk in the A block.
What a repulsive tournament to look at on TV. Did you text them all together in a group or like individually? It was a group text. Do you have all the shows by group text?
Like you're around the horn guys. Is the title PTI guys? How grateful were you for Tom Watson? He gave you three days.
He did. Tom Watson gave us a run. Whenever Tony and Mike would take off, I'd get stuck on that Thursday with talk for a minute and a half about Jim Furyk. Make it interesting.
Keep swinging. Lead the show. Give us all you got on BJ Singh. BJ!
The thing about this story, though, that really resonates for me, okay? This is a strong man weakened by humanity, by frailties. We've done the pop psychology the last couple of days of trying to please your dad. Dad, you know, buried in an unmarked grave.
I urge you all to watch the HBO Max unauthorized documentary because Tiger did not participate in it. It's two It is an unusual thing for us to bury someone when they betray us with what their public image is, and then at the end, sometimes come around just like human beings on forgiveness and being someone who roots for Tiger Woods. Because I just remember the specifics so much of when he cheated on his wife, he lost so many of you with what it was that felt like betrayal. Like, you thought you knew that guy, and he did something that, even though you know men can't be trusted, he did something that made you feel betrayed on what his public image was because you were force-fed for 20 years by Nike and everyone else, by his dad and everyone else.
This is the prodigy. He's going to save the country club. This guy is perfect. He's a robot of golf.
And now he's the face of fallibility. The guy in police mugshots. It's just such a spiral his image has taken that you root for him. I do, anyway.
You know, he's wildly imperfect, and that makes him interesting to me. It's interesting how few golf fans I can think of that have, like, turned on Tiger. They all seem to kind of have that take. At the time, though, Chris, like, now, sure.
At the time, man, it was a massive scandal, especially as we found out the details. It's not just, oh, he cheated on his wife. It's like, this guy was banging waitresses from Shoney's, man. Like, that was the part where everyone was like, whoa, whoa!
Yeah. Public Shoney's soup. It's easy to confuse the two. But, yeah, in the middle of that PR storm, it was bad.
He got out of it. Why? Because he has an adoring public. Beloved.
He's beloved. Fortunately for him, and others, he hasn't hurt anybody, which was the easy stance to take on this, which is, you're going to get somebody else hurt, all right? You're dealing with your demons. Don't take somebody down with you.
He hasn't done that. He's only hurting himself right now and his family. And he can dig himself out of it. And he's got the support of everyone, including the media.
Everybody likes Tiger. Hell, the media needs Tiger. The sport needs Tiger still at this stage. He's in a good spot to get right.
What an unusual, interesting thing, though, to remember the specifics of this press conference that he did in front of a blue screen in Orlando. The reason I remember it is because there was so much howling around him because we had seen some threads of his private life come out in public, and he was a womanizing hound. The braying betrayal of howling at him made it so in front of that blue screen in Orlando, after hearing people be like, give us an apology, explain yourself, what the hell is this? He's holding his mom in front of us.
And I'm like, why did anyone want this? We wanted this. We wanted this. We called for this.
We wanted this. And now we're watching it. Ooh, we didn't want this. This doesn't feel good.
From that point, whatever the frailty and the fallibility is in it, he gets to go in the most unusual way from conquering hero to fallible human being to the support of everyone being like, we're rooting for you, Tiger. And it helps him not at all at the core of the physical pain, never mind the emotional pain, the physical pain of, he gets up every morning and, where are my pills? I need more than I've ever needed because I've had so many surgeries because my body, and I'm still out here trying to be the guy I was because I need to please my adoring public. I need to be the guy my dad thought I was.
Like, I need to keep being out here competing because without competing, who am I? I'm just a guy popping pills. I gave my entire body over to all of this and now I can't stop taking the pills. Yeah, when you carry two pills with you on the road, that's a definite indication.
I wonder about his mental health. I do. I wonder if he's had therapy. I know early on when the only person he owed an apology to was his wife, he claimed a sex addiction.
I wonder if he has had work on his mental health. I know he says now he's going into therapy for presumably the pill addiction, but maybe he needs something beyond that. I guess when I ask you for your support or whatever it is on seeing the human parts of what Tiger Woods is as an immortal, the mortal parts of the immortal, it's just this. Imagine every morning you get up in the morning and your back is just killing you, that you can't move around and function because you keep, you need another surgery.
You need an eighth surgery because they cut you open and they can't fix it. Like you say his mental health. I'm talking about his physical health because people who are in this kind of pain do harm themselves. They think about harming themselves because that ends the pain.
Yeah, but we assume right now that he's in constant pain. How could you not though is what I'm saying. How could you not if he doesn't, if the culture of sports is, and the culture of men is, don't tell anybody about how you hurt. Right.
Just hide that. Don't tell the public you're part of a marketing machine. You are many economies over. Don't go out there and tell anybody you've got a pill problem.
Don't go out there and tell anybody how broken you are physically because that's weakness. Nothing. There's nothing about anything that rewards him being vulnerable in public, nothing. But I'm just not assuming he's in constant pain.
I would just as soon assume that maybe he's over medicating himself. Maybe he's taking pills for pain that isn't really there. I have no idea. I think he gains a lot by being vulnerable in public.
Like I said, everybody's rooting for him. So that would just be people who hold their heart and go awe even more. But he hasn't been no, he could buy more by being vulnerable, but very clearly this is a dude that values his privacy. This was the last stop, right?
Like he didn't have any more get out of jail free cards without using the, Hey, I'm going to go seek help. He's never said I'm going to go seek help for any sort of pain pill or DUI or anything like that. Like this is the first time we've seen it. He's been embarrassed in public before.
Okay. And I don't know what the pressures and hardships because he never revealed them. He does not talk about this stuff. I don't know.
He was burned in the first interview he ever gave. He was in the back of a limo with Charles Pierce. He made some sort of lesbian joke. And then the whole machine shut up, shut down around him.
Like at the very beginning of his career, he never said anything interesting again. He was never himself again in public. Not one time ever. He was always tell me if I have this wrong, Greg, just marching marketing robot for Nike.
Yeah, right. The Michael Jordan aesthetic, you know, where he's not going to say anything particularly interesting or anything to damn himself. But yes, of course, what you guys are saying is part of the rehab tour. If what he cares about is the optics and the business of being Tiger Woods, because it's a giant business, giant business.
If that's what he cares about on how this looks. Yes, of course. He sits down and talks about all of this. But we've never seen it in his career.
Like the fact that this guy has been in public for 30 years and the dirt is what you know because you don't really know anything else about him. You know the upbringing, you know the story. The darkness was revealed to you by accident. He didn't ever want any of that scene.
Still doesn't. Goes to rehab now to avoid the embarrassment of it because there must be great shame in all of this. You know how we say all the time, there's no shame in needing help. No, wrong.
He's only seeking it now because there's shame in needing help. But yet overriding all of that, what we do know about Tiger Woods is the excellence that is virtually unparalleled. And beyond that, in a way that Jack Nicklaus never did, he revolutionized golf. He opened the doors to people of color to be interested in golf.
And I think that's a generational thing. That lasts. That's his legacy to me. Isn't just the 15 majors.
It's that he revolutionized golf. Dan, I've got the solution for Tiger Woods. Right. So we've been talking for three days.
Now, Tiger, just get a driver. He's like, no, I don't want a driver. My privacy and all that stuff. And we've been fighting.
Like, how do we figure it out? I got the solution. Waymo. Get Tiger Woods a Waymo.
Now you don't have to worry about drivers and privacy or anything like that. And he's not behind the wheel. Your solution is to put Tiger in a car that is literally surrounded by cameras. I was a bit like I did not think this through.
You should build his own Waymo. That's like, this is mine. Your solution. That's an idea, man, right there, folks.
Your solution. How much just for this one? I want it forever. A Waymo with no cameras.
Even more. So you're telling Tiger Woods the solution for get a driver is get a car that doesn't have a driver. That's right. Don't know why I should do it.
Hold on. It's very limited. Fibula is a very limited impersonation. And I'm here for him being here the rest of the week.
I want to get to a story that I've not been able to get to because I miss Angel Hernandez. I know you all like to complain about the