The Billionaires Came and Promised to Help—But They Were Lying

The billionaires came with their fancy cars and their expensive suits and their smug looks. They were invited as guests onto television shows, then they launched their own shows, then they bought up the networks so they could have even greater control over the messages available to all.“We see your pain,” they said. “We see how much you’re suffering! We want only to help! We’ve come in peace! We wish only to share our vast knowledge with you and teach you all how to become billionaires too.”The huddled masses, perpetually fearful, celebrated the news. They didn’t wish to fight. They didn’t have energy to fight. They didn’t have food or education or a place to live. They were tired and weak and needed rest. The one thing they wanted was a promise, a promise of kindness.So the billionaires said, “We will help you!” and they believed.They believed.Then the time came for the billionaires to teach. They’d promised they would help. They assured us that in a short amount of time, there would be prosperity for all.“You’ll be winning so much, you’ll get tired of winning!” they said.The tired, the poor the huddled masses yearning to be free cheered with glee. Like so many times before, they’d been told they’d only have to wait a little more.“Obviously we know what we’re talking about,” the billionaires continued. “Look at us. We have perfect skin and perfect teeth and perfect hair. We have suits and fancy cars and yachts. We own our own private islands upon which we can do whatever we want. That, my friends, is freedom. That is the greatest thing of all. Do you want to know how to achieve all this?”“Yes, tell us! Tell us!” the people said.“The first thing,” the billionaires replied. “Is to never trust the government. The government will take everything from you. They’ll make you dependent on their hand-outs and then they’ll control you.”“Oh no!” the people said.“You see, the government doesn’t really believe in freedom. If you give them too much power, they’ll come to your private islands and tell you that you’re not allowed to do your favorite things. You won’t be allowed to keep your pets, no matter how much you love and care for them. Don’t we deserve to have our pets?”“Yes!” the people said.“Good, now, repeat after me, the government is bad. The government is corrupt. The government is the greatest threat to your freedom. We must dismantle it!”The people repeated this and it was done. They threw out all the protections that the billionaires assured them were lies meant to shackle them. The people became enthusiastic in their destruction because they’d been promised untold riches. These riches were right around the corner. They were coming soon.Like so many times before, the people had been told they’d only have to wait a little more.With the government dismantled, it became time for the billionaires to give us phase two.“You’ve done well everyone! Thank you!”“No thank you!” the people said. “But why aren’t we rich yet?”The billionaires laughed at this and smiled at us like we were their well loved children. “My people, don’t presume. We have to remind you that we’re the ones who have accumulated fortunes. It doesn’t happen overnight, no matter what the fairy tales say. But you must believe us when we say that you’re well on your way.”This made the people cry “Hooray!”“Now, the next obstacle to your prosperity can be found in your communities.”“Where, where?” the people said. “Tell us so we can remove it so we can all be rich.”“Good children,” the billionaires replied, “the next obstacle that you have to remove is all the immigrants.”“The immigrants?” people said. Now a few were uncertain because they knew immigrants, or were married to immigrants, or they were immigrants themselves.“Yes,” the billionaires insisted. “Don’t you know that it is the immigrants that are responsible for all the crimes? They’re responsible for all the hate and the lies. They’re the ones making it impossible for the fathers to provide. In order to make our country right, we must first make it white.”“Um, what?” the people said.“We mean only that we must return to our venerated traditions and our customs and our beliefs. All the things we’ve told about you in the past. All the things you’ve been conditioned to celebrate. We’ll go back to that, and it will make us all great.”“Okay,” the people said.So, they made cuts to food and healthcare and schools. They sent all the money to a group of soldiers. The billionaires said that the people must regard the soldiers as extensions of the billionaires themselves. They promised they’d send them door to door to remove all the obstacles that prevented everyone to experience prosperity and wealth.“By the way, we also have to remove the educated, and the experts, and the journalists, and the dissenters.”“Um,” said the people.“Don’t lose faith now, we’re doing this for you. We said we wanted to share our knowledge and it was true. Now we’re doing it. We are the only ones that know the process that will work. If you had known, you’d have been with us from the first. Soon, you’ll no longer be poor.”Like so many times before, the people had been told they’d only have to wait a little more.But by then, the cracks had started to appear. Stories began to circulate, and the people were gripped by fear. The stories of survivors no longer fell upon deaf ears as people looked around to see they’d been stripped of institutions and friends they’d once held dear.Despite the fact that the billionaires came to control the news and the government and the schools, the rumors became easier to hear.“They aren’t even human,” some people said. “They rape children. They murder them too. They feed on us. They’re a parasite class. They’re a virus. They’ll kill us all before they’re done.”Now, the people found they were even weaker than before. Their food had been taken, as had their access to medicine. The cold winter lay upon the land. They looked at each other in terror.Then, they began to lend a helping hand.“Don’t listen to each other,” the billionaires said. “Listen only to us. Don’t resist, don’t make a fuss.”The billionaires broadcast their orders from the largest and loudest platform in the land. But it had grown so high that it rose up into the sky, and everything they said echoed like distant thunder crackling in the night above our bowed heads.The billionaires had overstepped. They’d become too distant. Huddled voices echoed like raindrops on a window pane. The people began to find their power again.“They’ve deceived us,” they said. “They never intended to help us.”When next the millionaires looked down upon the downtrodden masses below, they found hundreds of million of eyes turning back upon them.The truth had been exposed.Hundreds of millions of independent whispers came together to form a single voice that said, “We are not waiting anymore. Not for the midterms, not for tomorrow. We’ll take our prosperity now!”The words echoed across the continent.“Prosperity now!”“Prosperity now!”“Prosperity now!”The sound terrified the privileged because they knew, for that to happen the billionaires must fall.You all make this newsletter happen! Thanks for your sponsorship! 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