The Boxer: Why We Keep Fighting When Everything Tells Us to Quit | Ep. 119

In Episode 119 of The Reset, Shaun breaks down the soul of the classic song "The Boxer" by Simon and Garfunkel (specifically the raw, driving version by Mumford and Sons) to explore why, even when everything tells us to quit, the fighter still remains.This episode explores Shaun's personal journey through his 16-second MMA fight that went viral (1.9M views on Instagram, 1M on Facebook), the emotional toll of public judgment, and the profound lesson about not making other people's pain your own.Key Themes:1. The Fighter That Lives Inside UsShaun shares his MMA fight experience—16 seconds in the ring, technically knocked out. But the real lesson isn't about the fight itself. It's about why we have a boxer inside us that refuses to quit, no matter how hard life gets. The willingness to get up and continue, even when bruised, battered, and cut open.2. The Viral Moment and the Emotional TollHis fight video went viral: 1.9M views on Instagram, 1M on Facebook. But with the views came the comments. People flaming him, blaming his coach, saying he wasn't ready. While there was support (especially from people who've been in the cage), the negative comments took an emotional toll. His wife Jacinda called it out: "You're spiraling."3. Not Your Pain—Their PainThe core lesson: "It's not my pain. It's actually their pain, and I was making their problem my problem. Which is one of the worst things you can do as a facilitator and a coach."The realization that 99.9% of the people commenting were men, and most were suffering. They were directing their pain outward—through trolling, through judgment, through criticism. But Shaun realized he didn't have to take that on.4. Empathy Without Absorption"It's really powerful to understand and have empathy towards their pain. But if you start taking it on as your own pain, that's gonna be a massive problem."As a coach and facilitator, you must hold a mirror that is real. You must show people you're human too. But you can't carry their pain for them.5. Cause and Effect"Everything is cause and effect. If you hop in the ring, you gotta understand you're gonna get hit. You're gonna have to learn to defend, or you're gonna get knocked out."But also: "If it is felt pain, like you're avoiding something and directing it outwards—towards alcohol, towards drugs, towards even trolling people on the internet—these things come back around."6. You Get to ChooseThe ultimate message: "You don't have to stand for any of it. You get to choose how you show up."Shaun had many reasons not to fight that night. His coach wasn't there. His backup coach was subbed out for his competitor's coach. But he made the conscious choice anyway.7. The Boxer in All of UsThe episode explores the human spirit—the part that is ever-enduring, not limited by thinking or physiological process. The part that can still find a way to stand up and continue moving, even when everything tells us to quit.Key Quotes:• "Why do we still have this boxer that lives inside of us? The one that refuses to quit?"• "It's not my pain. It's actually their pain, and I was making their problem my problem."• "You don't have to stand for any of it. You get to choose how you show up."• "If you don't want to fight, you don't have to."• "Everything is cause and effect."• "Most people wait for their life to change. We architect the reset."Change your state, choose how you show up.