The Burden of Being "The Strong One" - with Dr. Nikia Smith

Dr. Nikia Smith, board-certified anesthesiologist and founder of She Is Fire Forged, has burned out in medicine not once, but twice — and lived to build a framework for catching it earlier the second time. She and Dr. Zarya dig into the invisible "third shift" (the mental load of kinkeeping that goes beyond housework), the specific toll of being a Black woman in medicine, and why rest without guilt is a skill you have to relearn. It's a candid, funny, and sharply honest conversation for anyone who's been praised for being "the strong one" while quietly running on empty.KEY TAKEAWAYS- Burnout builds gradually ("the simmer") long before it boils over — insomnia, dread, and irritability are early warning signs that get normalized by hustle culture.- Changing jobs alone won't fix burnout if the underlying systems, boundaries, and values don't change too.- The "third shift" — kinkeeping (tracking birthdays, appointments, being the default emotional contact) — is invisible labor that drains women beyond housework and paid work combined.- Recovering from burnout is bigger than rest: it requires rebuilding boundaries, values, and support systems, not just a vacation.- Women physicians have better patient outcomes, work longer hours, chart more, and are paid less — and lose the cardiovascular protective advantage that being a woman typically confers.- For women of color in medicine, microaggressions and covert racism add a compounding layer of fatigue on top of standard burnout.- "Rest without guilt" is a skill: true rest means a quiet mind, not just a still body.TIMESTAMPS01:58 Dr. Nikia's first burnout in 202106:08 The warning signs nobody names17:05 Recognizing and short-circuiting the second burnout24:30 The "third shift" and kinkeeping37:45 Burnout compounded by race and gender in medicine44:21 Rapid fire round48:05 "Burnout told me I was broken, but actually I was..."50:07 What to do in the next 24 hoursConnect with Dr. Nikiahttps://sheisfireforged.com/Connect with Dr. Zarya, The Burnout Doctor:Website: https://www.theburnoutdoctor.comIG: https://www.instagram.com/theburnoutMDGet your FREE Burnout to Balance Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/burnouttoolkitBook a FREE Consult with The Burnout Doctor: https://calendly.com/drzarya/free-burnout-consultReach out with questions or to book The Burnout Doctor for your next event: [email protected]