The Burden of Strength: How Control Drains Your Soul

“Beef or oxtail bouillon cube for the stew?” can you think of a more frivolous question to answer while choosing a coffin for your mother’s funeral? Today’s guest, Nozipho Tshabalala can answer that – and how this moment illuminated her relationship with control. A relationship that began at the tender age of 5. Imagine surviving a petrol bomb, being smuggled off to another family, having to change your name and appearance, and then trying to normalise your life. Nozipho did it all, without even realising the incredible feat she had achieved. But also, without realising (until that bouillon cube moment) how control had become a default response to everything. Control was the safety net she depended on for survival. In today’s episode, Nozipho shares how her formative years shaped the woman she is today and the many lessons she’s learnt along the way. As a conversation strategist, she finds herself in perfect company, with two esteemed conversationalists – Anele and Mantshoe. Together the three travel down memory lane, sharing the moments that shaped their lives. Anele will have you in stitches with her pre-school shenanigans, which led to an intoxicating sense of control. Mantshoe shares her performative nature as a child, how it led to her own desire for control – and its detrimental effect on her adult relationships. Like 67% of South African women, they’re exhausted from having to “keep it all together” all the time. Yet another insight revealed by the 1st for Women Her & Now 2025 Report. Stay tuned for a whole new perspective on control and how to harness it. You won’t want to miss this one!Read the full First for Women Her & Now Report here: Welcome to First for Women Insurance | Comprehensive CoveragePowered by First for Women InsuranceLearn more about car insurance made for women Car Insurance with 24/7 Safety & Dedicated Roadside Fleet | First for WomenHome insurance made for women First for Women Foundation | Empowering Women | Supporting CommunitiesBusiness insurance made for women Business Insurance for Women: Tailored & Affordable