The Christmas Special

We don't shout their kinder. What? Your joys. Left the way outside.

We don't want to let them. I've never been so busy before. It seems Christmas arrived sooner each year. Christmas in the stars.

Christmas in the stars. What a Merry Christmas this will be. Christmas in the stars. I'm from Among the Stars.

Liking up on Christmas tree. Come on everybody let's see. Hello and welcome to the Souls Forum UK podcast. I'm Stuart Skinner your host for the evening and this is the Christmas Special Edition.

On tonight's show we have got a crack in Antimone, Written by Richard Hutchinson and performed by various members of the SWF UK Forum. We've also got the winners from recent awards thread as well as some classic outtakes and a cracking round table. Joining me as usual is on all that Richard Hutchinson. Good evening, Rich.

Good evening, Rich. Good evening, guys. Our little Welsh wizard, Grant Criddle, Gereem and Grant. Merry Christmas, everyone.

We've also got the annoying member of the team. It's Benji Kumba. Good evening, Ben. Good evening, Ben.

We've got our hon carbonite. It's Peter Davis, Gereem and Pete. Mate, the fish takes me with you. And we are absolutely buzzing to welcome two of the forum favourites.

We have got Jez with us, Gereem and Jez. Alright, my lovers. And we've got Chris Mammonos. Good evening, Chris.

Good evening, everybody. Hi, this is Rich from the Star Wars Vamu K podcast team with a Christmas crack at York. What do you call it next-wing pilot who doesn't believe in Santa? I don't know what you call it, but it's pirate who's in the front of it.

I'd rather without the clothes. Right, boys. 2014, so I started the podcast out. So Grant, it's one of your thoughts on how the podcast has gone over the last year.

Well, I've been expected to be a second job. It's only takes a long time to make these things and it takes a lot of effort as well. So I wasn't expecting that, but yeah, it seems to be picking up and I'm quite happy where it's going. I never thought we'd be doing 85 hours per episode.

That's a bit of a shocker. I think we'd have enough to talk about, but clearly we have far too much to talk about. Totally smashed the time record this month, and we're one minute under five hours for December's edition. Absolutely cracking.

Rich, thoughts on the podcast now? Even to me, how you stand up, I think the podcast is getting there. But I never expected the viewers to listen to the podcast that we're getting. It's absolutely taking breath away.

I really enjoyed everything that we've recorded and the feedback we're getting is fantastic. So another big thank you to everybody else who's listening to us all. And Ben, how do you think it's going to make when you're here? I have initial fears of there being just six people that will be listening to this thing once a month.

The six being Michael Cif, because he's far too nice not to listen to it. He was no good. But it blows my mind that people actually listen to and enjoy this stuff. It's going really well.

I am going to assume here that Chris and Jez both actually listen to the podcast. So Chris, favorite parts of our podcast? None of it. No, I'm joking.

I really enjoy the interviews because it's great. Rather than just seeing what people are writing on the forum, it's great hearing to them, listening to the experiences and they're collecting things. The plan to you guys have is just, that's what makes me laugh the most. I think that's what makes the podcast with you.

So another podcast, a bit serious, but this one seems very laid back and friendly. Interesting to say that. If you had to pinpoint one member of our podcast, who do you think most of it needs to be like? Why do you put me in that situation?

Don't take it nicely, but Richard. Yeah. I'm going to be honest with you, Chris. If I just get a quick round robin of our own, I think we're just far too serious.

I think it's fair. Ben? Richard. Probably me.

But if we're talking about a lightning. We love you, Rich. We love you, Rich. And all that.

We'll have to see all that water we'll have to keep it all together if it was for me, it's all full of hot. Close actually true. I'll tell you what, it's certainly only two hours I've eaten up, Rich. I've ever asked him just a general question.

We had this episode one for everyone. Grant asked Richard about an event he went to in Sheffield. And he listed every weapon, every figure on every table. Was a fascinating listen.

Um, Jess, how about you? Pop, pop, pop the podcast? It's timeless. I love it.

Well, before I say that, I just want to say me and Chris will chat on the phone and they're on about coming on tonight. And we're both really thrilled that you've invited us. So thanks very much guys. It really means a lot to us because we love it so much.

I mean, today on my way back, I was listening to episode three again because the subject's what you cover because you always cover a subject in depth. And I want to know a little bit more about three packs, about the triple packs. I went back today to your episode three. Listen to that.

As Chris said, the banter cracks me up. Some of the stuff you guys come out with, you definitely need to do some equality and diversity training when it comes down to ripping it out of Ben, which I love, which is really, really good. Um, it's just a good crack. And I think now moving to a job where I'm having to commute a lot, it means that I'm less on my keyboard and more in the car, but I've still got the forum with me, which is really, which is really cool.

And if I had to push you for something that's, you could add to the podcast or maybe improve a section, how, what would you suggest? A telephone in where you get, um, you know, like in the 80s around about the time the films were out, you had, um, sort of the swap shop, no leaven swap shop and this sort of stuff. You could probably do that, which will be in the spirit of the, of the era where, you know, you could have people coming up and maybe doing some sort of requests or, or possibly, you know, limit it to people that don't tend to make too much, but some sort of swap shop you could try. Love that.

Love that. Who will be Poshpaws then? Who? Poshpaws.

What do you call it? Slop Shop. Ah, Jaz, man. Slop Shop.

Right, well, hopefully this round table should be quite a good, quite a good last night. As for now though, we're going to go to the first part of the Panto Richard Hatcher's Enrollment Podcast during, has spent many months. In fact, I think he might have written this many years ago and has been waiting for somewhere he could produce his Christmas Panto Montadur Star Wars. So this is the first half of it and the concluding part will be later in the podcast.

Our Wars, episode 1, for next year could be episode 4, 6 or even minus 3, depending on new ideas, which I'm not new, but have always planned to be like that. It is a community of silver war, not a spaceship striking from a hidden base, which isn't him. The only way to do it is to win the first victory against the evil Alpha Empire. During the battle, levels of eyes led by Han Solo and he psychic, Chibi, with one he.

Managed to steal the shipment and then get Star Wars carded figures, heading towards the Alpha headquarters. He had by refer to as, Mom's Basement. In pursuit is Alpha's sinister agent Darth Vader and his henchmen, Admiral Eric and Captain Tawy-Tawny. The arching to recover the whole of carded figures, which includes the infamous, Alatori Vain-O-Kir-Jawa.

A whole degree like him, which nobody believed to be genuine, and to the cheap stick I slapped on it. Join us as we reass across the stars in Star Wars 1, your kids' thrilling version, huh? The Star Wars Christmas Untermine. Eric, have you located the rebel ship yet?

No, I'm not captain to it, Tony. Ludwig, there will be most of this, please. Very broad, Vader. He should be arriving any moment.

He's been auditioning for X-Factor. Well, this is in the X-Factor. Yeah, he thinks he's more popular since Disney bought Star Wars. He thinks he has the mass market appeal now.

What was he seeing? Don't you wish to follow the space? Captain, Admiral, I'm not in a good mood. I call him Rhea's my spirit.

Can't you just use the Force? It's widely widely opposed to Vodka or Oaky-Delly. Since we were behaving short, I'm asking us. That must be why I'm so utterly sick of the sight of you there.

Get back to work. Yes, that's it. Eric, why have you just placed a blanket over your head? It's my plan to infiltrate the rebel, sir.

I'm going undercover. That plan wouldn't even fool us now, but I want results, no feeble ideas. Fortunately, Knight Man has already emerged, soon the Winter of Cards, joining by the Rebels. We'll be back in our hands and safely chasing the kool-aid.

Maybe sold at a 400% profit. Well, why aren't you cheering? Hello! Well done, Lord Vader.

I just hope this isn't like your last seven schemes, which cost us the desktop. To Imperial Star Destroyers, legions of stormtroopers. I find your luck and fate disturbing. That's what my already teacher said.

Sorry Lord Vader. Here, I've made you some toast. It's a bit of the darkside, isn't it? I thought that's how you liked it.

You made a suspenseful death scheme, Captain. It is time for you to hear my plan. Only in order to the rebels have sent two droids to Tatooine. They've been instructed to seek out to end all the numbers of your mind.

Tatooine, where's that? If there's a bright center of the universe, then Tatooine is the farthest planet in this form. It's a dark planet then. Not really, it has two sons.

How can the planet exist with a binary sun? Never mind that, it looks effective. Anyway, I mean that, Tatooine is far from any option. So nothing goes on there?

Not really. Other than the birth of the chosen one, what's the known as me? One of the homes for the major crime lords, Java the Woods. One of the busiest baseboards, called Mosse-e.

Which is home to some of the most wretched hide, which is going to be the universe's offer. And the planet that my former master decided to hide on for the past 20 years, thinking that I wouldn't have looked in the most obvious place. Behind the clock on the mantle piece? What were you talking about?

That's where I first looked for things I've lost. Behind the clock on the mantle piece. I am surrounded by idiots and impossils. This is not Facebook.

I've backed my plan. As I said, I have to switch to two droids to Tatooine. Which droids? Not that it matters.

But it wouldn't be, not all two units. And then I shiny-goed one, that I dealt with when I was seven. Here he goes again. When I was seven, I built a droid from scratch.

And then won a big bad pirate race. Before blowing up a traceration control ship. Before most kids have even learned to tag their own shoelaces. You're both finished?

Yes. Good. That feels so good. The droids have been instructed to find Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Who currently thinks that by changing his views neither then, the storm you have to send to deliver a message. A message? Didn't you use the Emperor's seal? You know what he's like if you don't follow official channels?

No. I stopped using that years ago. Why? Why?

Many because the seal was so sore. And then let us end up smelling fish. Makes sense. What did the message say?

I have revealed the location of Mom's basement. Mom's basement? Why? It's a trap all of them Kenobi.

We'll now meet contact with the rebels and launch the assault. They'll attempt to destroy Alpha in all the facilities we have. Great plan, Lord Vader. We're there at you at 100%.

I'm glad that meets with your approval. Once we capture the rebels, we'll torture them to reveal the location of their base. And then we'll come up all of the stalling men on cars. I told you really are very dirty.

Parker there's a star puzzle out the floor. Good job on Doctor Tote. What happened to this chief? Oh!

Hello! Why do you not come from? Talking to this chief. It's been years since I've had this many people in my friend room.

Those are the days. Oh! My name's Walkie, in case you didn't know. Shmee, Walkie, Skywalk with your service.

And I always promise a thorough service. Hello everybody! Hello! I wish I know you were coming.

Look at the state of this place. I live here long when I'm too children. You're out now collecting moisture from our evaporators. I'm not hard to tell them I just need to turn on the tap.

Anyway, my family and I are poor. We're poor than that. I have taxes to pay. Most of the day the hours no fights are making animal noises late at night.

At least this year we won't have to worry about a wicked queen, which usually happens in pantomimes. I do have worries though. Do you want to hear them? No!

What do you mean no? Well, first of all I had a problem with the hairdresser. I walked in and asked him to take four inches off one side. Forget about the other.

Make the fringe one can leave long tufts at the back. He looked surprised and said he couldn't do that. I told him that he managed it last time. And I heard a tap at the door.

I'll change his leaky washer and set it away. Oh! You've got to laugh. I said you've got to laugh.

Or you won't be going home. Now tell me. Have you seen anyone suspicious in this bedroom? No!

Oh that's a pig. About time. Where have you been? Reaping to the pictures to see the plastic deli's screen in plastic.

The plastic out of the thing. Well I told you before about wasting money on merchandise and your pills to geeks and loners. It's lovely mother. Never mind that.

It's late. You should be in bed. Oh mother. Young children should be in bed early.

Weirdly. Brain 15 and late 17. Oh how time flies. It's the only way that- All right mother don't get any nickers in the twist.

Let's take all night to unravel them again. Oh no. A second. Aren't you too tall.

This is only version three of the three of the twins part with you to come into in version eight of the second special edition. Yeah but we have to get this recorded before Christmas and we're running out of time. Special edition this. Different version that.

So I wonder I can't keep up. Now children. Off to bed. You have a long day tomorrow.

I need you to walk to town to find some new droids. I need some help out here. All this hard work isn't agreeing with me. Yeah only hard work you ever done.

It's taking your makeup on in the morning. What on earth? Mother. What's the point of the party over there?

No you're never too old. No what I mean is I thought I saw a stranger at the window. You must have imagined it in your head. Hey you.

Get in now. What's your game? I like it before. Me too.

It's chilly boys. I mean what are you up to? Oh about five foot two but I will grow some more. I hope anyway some of the lads can stop it with the hype jokes.

No what I mean is what are you doing peering in my window? You naughty little man. Hey Steve out there. He's just like a chipotle.

What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with my clothes. Who in earth are you? I'm Ben.

Or is it? I can never remember. I've come to collect Luke and head on upon a dangerous mystery. How I say?

About it. What? Just like that. I've been preparedless for days for ages.

If I thought it was 60, I would have come years ago. Danger is missing. What do you want me to do? Tell him I've got the 30 boys but come on Star Wars 4 and UK.

Star Wars 4 and UK. A wretched hive of scum and villainy. Will you knock it off with a scum and villainy line? It's so old and boring.

Yeah. A bit like you over there. I remember when I was a respected Jedi Knight. Master Yoda would have never allowed young with a snapper like you lot to insult me like this.

Master Yoda? The Jedi who trained me. You were trained by Master Yoda? Well, not exactly.

My master was killed in a sift duel. But you just said that Master Yoda was your trainer. Look, I haven't got time for this. Stop it with your trifle.

I don't want to make you a trifle. I don't want to make you a trifle. I don't want to trifle. Ben, why talk about trifle?

Look, shut up about trifle. I just want to collect Luke and go off on a dangerous mission. I haven't got time to listen to you proffling on for hours. I can listen to the latest acquisition sections of the podcast for that.

Hey, why can't I don't on this mission? Because you were a fact- I don't think I want to. I don't think any harm was meant. Now, what's this dangerous mission?

I've got a flat. I've been loosing to be here until the interval. Have you heard of the evil Darth Vader? Darth Vader is the henchman of an evil empire.

What you refer to as AFA. As we speak, it is Hunson-Dang the remnants of vintage Star Wars action figures. And is looking to either encase them in a plastic jewel or even worse. You agree with them?

I agree with them. No. You agree with them. That's what I just said.

I agree with them. Look, I'm not going to say that's what I said. I agree with them. I agree with them.

I agree with them. I agree with them. I agree with them. No.

You agree with them. That's what I just said. I agree with them. Look, you stupid woman.

I need Luke for a dangerous- I need Luke and Leia for a dangerous mission, which involves stopping Darth Vader from encasing vintage Star Wars action figures from plastic tombs, or even worse, you're creating them. What can be simpler than that? I thought I'd never lost that patience. Believe me, the Jedi have never met anything like you before.

Tadee, this is all wizard. Come on, sis. Let's go grab our things. Stop calling me this.

Do you realize how irritating that is? I'm a fan girl, not just a this. Don't you realize I shop at her universe. Like Boba Fett and anything pink.

I've made a decision. We're off to help Ben on this dangerous mission. Darth Vader, here we come. Oh no.

Hello, where we going? To the Star Wars 4 and UK lounge. Never finds more wretched hire than the scum and villainy. Er, I think I might get way outside.

There you go. Here it is. In you go. Hey, we don't serve that kind of here.

I promise no more trouble. Have you been here before? I don't want to saw twice, I think. Those two are too young to be here.

I need to see their identification. Please, my children Luke and Leia. I assure you, they are older. I owe the other hand.

They need each percent mine. I don't think so. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I don't think so, man. We're not not not takers. I can vouch for these two. You don't need to see their identification.

Yes, I do. This is a pup. You don't need to see their identification. Oh, you're not listening to me, old man.

This is a pup. Here it is, my uncle Jack. My uncle Ed. Hi, uncle Ed.

How's your head? I'm good. How's your head? I'm good.

How's your head? How's your head? How's your big tool? Uncles.

It can be a lonely life bringing up kids on your own. Hello, great. How's your head? Enough.

Comes it down here, wait for those rugged, dishy, manly looking. Not again, ma'am. And draw yourself up and draw attention to us. Surely my extraordinary good looks have done that already.

Ah, here's the man I've arranged to meet. Hello, solo. Then, I've got your message. What do you want?

You better be important. I've still got that rescue shipment of mocks on the fork and I can't take gams with that cargo. I think it would be better if I showed you. Ooh, can I show him too?

See, no, lookie. Please, I meet you. I feel you know what. I'll have you there.

I'll be the subscribers. Clear Patrick holding an ass. I want to hold on to you. I might see the log stars.

They come out at night. And I look like a million dollars. Green, green, and not worth what I usually do. And when they see me, they turn to jelly.

I can see why you remind people of jelly. You have won't be best with people. Don't even have bits. And I have an hour glass figure.

Yep, most of the sand is filled at the bottom. I swap my husband off his feet. When you jumped in the pool and hit him in the toilet away. How did you know?

Enough of this foolish chatter. Luke, fetch the two droids from the droid storage room. The storage room. The one that's conveniently located next to the table.

They're filling the cup in the script. That's the one. Well, I never. Being locked in a room with so many more running robotic idiots thought I was traveling in London.

Good evening, sirs. And madams. I am C-3PO, human-side-boggulations. I'm sure I could use a good friend like you.

Mother... Pre-PO, tell R2 to play the last message. Oh, why don't you tell him this out? Please stand right there.

R2, play the last message. Oh, Daniel, so magnificent. Look at those biceps. Rippling abs.

Yes, you've still got it, big boy. But... Not that message. R2 says sorry.

Must have been a corruption in his violin deck system. This is a message in his play. D-R enemies. Oh, ah-ha.

Oops. I mean, D-R-Rettle friends. I am most certainly not D-R-Fader. My name is.

My name is Slim Shady. I recently escaped from that. I recently escaped from the A-F-A-L-A known as Moms Basement. And I'm going to reveal the coordinates to this base in a moment.

The stories you have heard about A-F-A are greatly exaggerated. It is really a lovely place where kind individuals help out the community by identifying and recording vintage stories was action figures. I mean, never make a mistake. However, if you want to pay us a visit or something, then travel on until morning for quite a bit, and then turn left.

It's a bit out. Oops. Slim Shady out. Uh, many bottoms died to bring you this information.

That's a shame. Oh, I have the bottoms. Yeah, both of them. A real strapping fellow fellow I saw one.

The way he polished his balls before raining down the cricket pitch. Mother! What do you think? Not not sure.

It looks genuine, but the Empire can get in more clever these past few months. Let's go. Let's go to Moms Basement and visit the A-F-A-Bays. I'd love to see those figures all lined up in the clearly cases looking nice and shiny.

And those big new stickers. Luke, you must resist the dark side of the force. The dark side? Of the force.

That's what I said. Is there an echo in here? I've never used a force. What is it?

What is a dark side? The force is an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, binds the galaxy together. It has nothing to do with metacoreum.

I've been penetrated. I've explained a lot. And what is the dark side? The bit that's not light.

And what does it do? It gives a Jedi its powers. Wow. Could I be a Jedi?

That all depends Luke. Join me on this quest. I will help you from coming Jedi. Oh no.

And you must come to. We need someone to wash the dishes. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Call of the same. Left us on a hanger there, isn't it? Really, really good line at the end there where Ben has just been punched.

Fascinating. That's not very rich. Right back to a round paper chat here then boys. Any stories from Christmas pasts people.

Let's start with Pete. Any stories related stories from your Christmas is a good childhood Pete. Christmas is of my childhood. I think the thing that always stands out is when, because we were very poor, now poor house, I didn't get expense of presents.

And it was the lack of anticipation of getting my money in Vulcan, which we basically bought in the summer. And because it was second hand from a second hand shop at the search, which is quite remarkable even then, I had to wait all that time to get my money in Vulcan knowing it was in my mom's cupboard and wrapped. And it was just getting to that day of finally knowing, I mean, months, it was from the summer till Christmas, what, five months, but it felt like decades. And finally getting my money in Vulcan and wrapping it.

And I don't think I left it alone until about probably the new year when I got to school again. It was just the best thing I've ever remember ever. Wonderful, well, how about you, Jez? For my point of view, looking forward to getting to the main, I always want the Vulcan, didn't get a Vulcan, always want the X-Wing, didn't get the X-Wing, what the attack, didn't get the attack.

My parents were very practical, so I got the Rebel Transporter. And by God, I love that. Still only five of the tours now. No, not really.

I hated it. No, I just want the Vulcan, I didn't get the Vulcan, I wanted the X-Wing, I wanted the attack. I don't think you were listening to me, I didn't want the transport, but it was, yeah, there there you go, son. But you have a transport, does anyone see any recollection?

Yeah, yeah, because when I started collecting, I wanted to collect what I had as a kid, so it was like, right, yeah, I'll just get a beer crap in the happy memories, we'll come flooding back. Then, any Christmas memories? Yeah, one story I can remember from the previous Christmas was that I'd been bought, I think I'd been bought Millennium Vulcan, unbeknownst to me, and I decided that I really, really wanted an ATAT. My dad had already bought me Millennium Vulcan, and all of a sudden, I desperately wanted the ATAT, and it was sold out that year at Christmas, nowhere to be seen at all.

And apparently, this is a story that I've been told obviously since the event. And my dad, actually, they were phoning around toy shops in the area every morning to try and find out whether these things had come up. And he rang up a Toys R Us in Croydon one evening, and they said basically we're expecting a delivery the following morning, and he took a day off work so that he could go up first thing in the morning by one of these ATATs so I could have it on Christmas Day. So, yeah, so, nice memory that sits in from Christmas as fast.

Chris? I'm going to be really boring. I don't have any memories, because I was born in 84, I kind of missed getting Star Wars for Christmas and bits like that. So, I'm regretting memories of getting toys, but, you know, I was always a Christmas when I was a kid, so.

Do you remember getting a teletype mid-90s? How did you guess that? I didn't have any part on that Facebook. You said that, nothing to do with me.

Rich. Yeah, I've got a similar story at the end where my mum was swinging around the shops trying to get a falcon, so I'm not going to use that one. The earliest memory I can remember is I was probably paying high-income users, and we are probably head-hurning and I made it on something like that. I remember crawling into Nemoza's wardrobe, and I found a Darth Vader TIE fighter.

And I remember picking it out with the wardrobe, and me mum telling me that it wasn't for me, and I was absolutely devastated. It was if somebody had given us the key to the kind of activity and took it away, but I was used to saying that I wanted it up on Christmas day. I just thought that it wasn't because I'm here in the harsh way and I feel so guilty, and it probably wasn't somebody else. What were you doing with one of the wardrobe?

It was looking for clothes, licking her shoes. I used to dress up when my mum was close and I was little, and it wasn't funny because I was in there 30 for years, so I'll cut it out guys. Grant, what kind of a Christmas do you have in the Welsh Hills? I remember really wanting a rank court.

That was my main present for her. Chris was 1984, and my mum bought it and I saw it in the back of the boot, and she said it was a loaf of bread because it was a triloga one. But I think the one that really sticks with me was I used to go and see a guy who had a shop in a small town at the road and he always had vintage stuff and he was looking after me, inspired me to start collecting. I started collecting new stuff in August 1994, and I tried to complete my run to 1995.

I was missing a pop-up saber just like you, and he filmed me up to say that he had a pop-up saber. At the same time, a new shop had opened up in Cardiff called Starlog, and they'd actually sold box vehicles, which is something that you'd never see, and also Cardiff figures. They had a Star Wars carded warsman, which was one of the biggest deals I've ever seen. I told my mum about it and didn't really think about it.

After that, the guy came down to my house just before Christmas to deliver me the pop-up saber, and then on Christmas day I woke up and my parents handed me a box. I remember my mum gingerly carrying this box towards me and said, open this first and I opened it up, and there was a carded warsman inside it. He'd actually gone all the way to Cardiff to pick up for me, and there was, and I remember bursting into tears. I'm glad you've still got your child to the tour, isn't it?

Yeah, I have. I don't know if I had a grandmas Christmas on it, but that was one of the last, if not the one, but last Christmas I had my dad, so it was really special having that gift. Amazing time. How about you, too?

It feels like you. Where Star Wars is considered. I've only got one memory. My brother was older than me, and he had all the Star Warsman's younger.

And I speak Christmas 82 or 83 that he'd got a lot of the half figures. And I remember he had his x-wing on so far, and he would have Luke x-wing in it, and I picked up his brand new Hanhof, must have been about an hour old, and I tried to ram him on top of them the Luke x-wing, and his leg snapped off, and a panic, and I put it into a vase, thinking that I'd find it for a couple of months, but I put it in a glass vase, and it was found within an hour. But then I can't remember getting told anything for it. And I do still have that Hanhof with one leg.

Right, before we move on, like I said, I've been dropping a few different things on these podcast, and I came across a conversation on, you know, archives that was never released. It was just between me, Grant and Richard one night, and we're talking Star Wars, and it has got to be one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Yeah, thanks to Richard, I don't know what was happening at night, but Richard was off the scale. So let's take a little listen to this.

Bells. Bells. Bells. Or that with the first.

A first, or it's hard to call the corners. Bells, the thing, is ring, and it's not same thing. Bells are there any kind of sorts of bells to play, and bells are stored. Chime in, what the hour is now.

Or they'll leave you to a cup. I just think you can ask what's the cup. Sorry, I might lads, sir. I'll die of it.

It is, too. You alright, mate? Yeah, not bad. Peter Rich.

Hello, how do we all do? Very posh, Rich. Where are you originally from? I'm already from the castle, later.

I just read one of those threads on the forum from Lars. You guys see there? It's the traditional Christmas dinner picks? Oh, yes, I'm with the Danish Christmas dinner.

Yeah. Yeah, just, yeah, lovely, isn't it? I didn't know if I was doing anything different with that Christmas dinner. Not really, mate.

No, even lakes. Rich, what do you do if Christmas dinner? You don't really eat anything. Couple of beans.

Sam, rancid. You know how couple of beans are my... Did you know the roping in the Starbucks will beat your head? It's a bit random, mate.

It's a bit random, mate. You know what? I've got coffee, I've got a coffee, I've got a bit of spring in your step. Don't think you need a spring in your step, mate.

It's on top of a cliff. It's a suicide hot spot. Starbucks? How do you kill yourself in Starbucks?

Shotgun in your mouth. No, I... Do you boys believe in it after life? I'm looking for Indian carnations, like I'd like to come back as an animal.

Like a dolphin. A dolphin, really? I can jump through a hoop and catch a fisherman move. Steve, what are you watching, mate?

I'm going to start back now. He was all over as mine. I mean, she's been older than me like she's 60. 60?

He might as well have slept with Brian May-meade. Should have been like him. What did she mean, sir? She was holding all of this booze in her car, and then she says, what I've had a bit to drink, mate?

Would you drive us home to Cardiff? You went all the way from Newcastle to Cardiff to get your leg over. She should have come as a timing. I was born on a National Express coach.

It was sold like an S.A.S. operation, you know. Your mission. Got until Cardiff, have full sex with a woman.

Come back on the coach. I was sure you were gay. You used to work on that gay sex hell blind. Yeah, which was that for then?

I don't want someone to talk to you, they're just lonely. Easy being gay these days can even adopt now. I'll add it up to Greyhound, because that's what I had, was like, clever you know? Didn't think you'd like your last dog after I let that lander skid figure.

Well, thanks, nice. Have a good company, you know? Give the demons a beer. I can do a wicked impression of a Greyhound running, I can't show you because we're on the sky.

I can do a wheel. Ooh! Dying out the way, I'm sad. That's global warming.

Not totally sure if that's correct. Why, truck fest? Hey look, it's come to Litch, whoa, David's frozen in the beer. What's he going on about?

I have no idea. I just watched in the trailer again, those stormships look amazing. Rich, what would you do if those stormships attacked you? Kill, kill, stop, twist, kill!

Right, and then? Then I just move, I'll fight, I'll move, I'll fight, I'll move, I'll fight, I'll move, I'll fight. I think I'll go grab an X-Wing. Hey, I'll have an Apache attack helicopter.

I'll get back to school. At first I'll take with the labs, and then I'll type into the attack computer, Mr. Kragg, chemistry teacher. Blom the bits, and then I'll get looking for Tom Donaldson.

I'll be hovering, just doing the road for me, who's here? I'll see it, but I'll duck down behind the trees. And he thinks he's safe, right? And he's just about to put the key in his front door, and I'll come up from behind the edge.

I know you're busted, you panicked, right? And he comes in the hoosh, so I'll get the 30 millimeter cannon, and I'll take with the fish one. I'll call he carp in there, and then, I'll just tilt the heck up to the one side. And the machine goes bullish, he's chewing up the drive right?

He comes in with, oh no, not me trying, I'm snug. I'll call it right in the half, right? And then he runs up onto the ground, and he's roofed. I'll say, right this is for you, Tom, he goes, no no no, he's begging, as he's begging, no please, Tom!

And then I'll fly off the corner, and I'm just smashing the seed of the big ball of flames. I'm scared. He just disconnected! Yeah, he's gone, how scary was that?

He always said he was tinkering on the edge. Remind me to get on the other side of him. Hi, this is Ben Coomba, okay, Mr Shifter. I got myself one of the Lego Star Wars I've been carrying this this year.

It was absolute rubbish. I can't help but feel it's days are numbered. I'm sure we'll all agree that that conversation had to be released on the podcast because some things have just got to go out there. What I want to chat about now is how you'll plan to incorporate Star Wars in your current Christmas.

Just don't Christmas pass, Christmas present now, okay? So, rich. However, for me, it was the Secret Santa. That's the big part of Christmas Star Wars for me at the moment.

I know the form you said it was Santa before I started. And the very year I started, I asked to join the Secret Santa for whatever reason it didn't take off very well. So I was worried that the same thing wasn't going to happen again. So I took the reins of that and ran it for the first time last year and it was absolutely brilliant to open.

And the first thing I was item, I was on Christmas day for however many years was great. And I'm running the same this year as well and I've received a fantastic vintage item which will open the Father's Farm. Me family will probably buy me some modern items which everybody has to do with Smiles. I don't know if that's me.