The Common Denominator Of All Relationships With Bob Conlin

Bob Conlin takes the reins on this episode for the second of his regular podcasts focused on relationships. In this episode Bob focuses on the notion of our relationship to ourselves and shares a personal story as well as how he sees this relationship to ourselves impacting the relationships we have with our romantic partners. KEY TAKEAWAYS I’ve been married for 5 years, this summer to an amazing woman who is also my business partner in the couples coaching business. But it’s not always easy, even with all the tools we have as relationship coaches we still have relationship struggles and challenges, but we know how to work through them. After being broken up with by my last serious romantic partner before my wife I started to be with the sadness and sorrow, and it hit me like a freight train. What I noticed was that I had this little voice  come up and talk to me, in my head: “Here you are again, another failed relationship. Here you are again, with your heart broken. Here you are again, alone.” That loneliness was the thing that really hit me. I begged for her to take me back even though it wasn’t what I wanted, but I was so uncomfortable that I wanted to go back to the thing I thought would help. My sadness and broken heart was for myself. It’s so easy to blame other people or circumstances for why your life looks the way it does. Notice if you have some ways that relationships typically go or end or if you have common complaints or frustrations about partners or difficult people that you work for or with. What are the common denominators? My common denominator was me, I was the one single thread in all of them. Take an inventory of yourself, is there some truth when you notice that you’re always labelled as a certain type of person in relationships or from co-workers? Is there an opportunity to grow and learn something more about yourself so you can then choose and practice something differently so you can get what you want? What we do with that awareness can change your entire life and experience of relationships. BEST MOMENTS ‘I’m not the easiest person to be in a relationship with, I have a lot of my own character defects and things that I’ve come a long way on, but I’m still growing and learning.’ ‘In any challenge, breakdown or any scary situation, there’s always an opportunity to look at what’s the gift? It can help you begin to take responsibility and ask “how am I contributing to relationships that fail and leave my partner feeling unloved, unseen, unheard?”’ ‘One of my biggest fears was of being left/abandoned. Unknowingly I would make scenarios where that would happen. I would make it unbearable to be in a relationship with me, so my partners would leave me, making the prophecy come true.’ ‘Look for some new chunks of truth or awareness, and see if there’s anything that you can start getting responsible for that has your relationships going a certain way. There’s no judgement or shame here, it’s simply an opportunity to get better in relationships and get what you want.’ VALUABLE RESOURCES Paul’s Story: Emerging From The Forest (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272 Paul’s Story: Emerging From The Forest (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272 Mastering The Game Of Life Book (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679 Mastering The Game Of Life Book (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679 Speaking From Our Hearts Books: Volumes 1-3 (Available on Amazon) World Game-Changers Group ABOUT THE GUEST Bob is a Life, Love and Leadership champion, author, coach, trainer, husband, father, and a professional certified coach with the International Coach Federation. His philosophy is that we are in relationship to everything and the top three opportunities for growth exist in self, loving others, and career. As a relationship coach, he’s doing the work that he was meant to do, in order to fulfil his life purpose. As the author of the forthcoming book ‘Why Your Relationships Suck: How to Create Strong Relationships with Courage and Heart’ – and as a devoted student of the relationship development he preaches – Bob enjoys a rewarding and fuller life being a husband, coach, leader, musician, and traveller. He and his family were featured in Episode 3 of CBS’s “The Greatest #AtHome Videos” in August 2020. Website: www.conlincoaching.com ABOUT THE HOST Paul has made a remarkable transformation from existing for many years in dark, desperate despair; to now living a really healthy, happy and fulfilling life. From an early age, he was in the vice-like clutches of the demon drink and constantly embroiled within a dark cocktail of toxic beliefs, self-hate and destructive violence. Along with his empathetic and dedicated team of world-class coaches and mentors, Paul’s purpose is deeply transformational: Co-Creating New Life Stories… He is extremely passionate about helping others to find their purpose, have a voice and ultimately, make a real difference.   This has been built on a long and distinguished history of heart-centred coaching and mentoring.  He has also been responsible for raising significant amounts of funds for many charities and good causes around the world; positively impacting and inspiring thousands of children – mainly from challenging backgrounds – within the UK & worldwide. Through this World Game-Changers podcast and books, he has been involved in – including being a best-selling co-author – Paul also helps others to get their own inspirational messages and stories out into the world; as well as offering support to many charitable organisations, in their development & fund-raising. CONTACT METHODS Tel: +44 (0) 7958 042 155 E-mail: [email protected] Web: https://www.Paul-Lowe.com Web: https://www.worldgamechangers.org/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IamPaulLowe/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-d-lowe-7a78332a/