The Consent Illusion: What Kink Gets Right About Power and Communication

Why do men rape women? It’s a question people have been asking for years and one that still doesn’t have an easy answer. In this episode, I’m digging into how we actually learn to recognize consent and how often that understanding is shaped by implication instead of clear communication. I start with a recent CNN article that exposed an online network of men sharing and encouraging content about drugging and assaulting their partners while they’re unconscious, and use it as a jumping-off point to look at how these ideas are circulating in plain sight. From there, I break down what the data really says about sexual assault, and why simply knowing what consent is doesn’t always mean people respect it. Later, I’m joined by Hailey Piper, author of A Game in Yellow, to talk about kink, communication, and what those dynamics can teach us about consent and intimacy.