The Dark Place Between My Legs: Sex, Intimacy, and Illness

When your body becomes something to manage rather than something to inhabit, intimacy tends to quietly disappear.Not all at once, but slowly, in the gaps where no one asks and you don't quite have the language to bring it up yourself.In this episode of How We Really Feel, Dr Sula Windgassen is joined by two of the most experienced psychosexual therapists working in the UK today:Kate Moyle, psychosexual therapist, author of The Science of Sex, host of The Sexual Wellness Sessions podcast, and regular BBC contributor Lorraine Grover, nurse and psychosexual therapist with over two decades of specialist experience, with a particular focus on sexual wellbeing in the context of illness, including prostate cancer and bladder conditions.Together, they open up a conversation that is long overdue exploring the difference between sex and intimacy, why the healthcare system so rarely addresses either, and why the absence of that conversation does more damage than people realise.You'll come away understanding:Why your brain will always prioritise anxiety over arousal and what that means for intimacy when health is difficultHow social messages about what sex "should" look like quietly shape our ability to enjoy itWhat psychosexual therapy actually involves (it's far less daunting than you think)Why intimacy and sex are not the same thing  and why distinguishing them matters, especially when illness changes what's physically possibleThe practical tools Lorraine keeps in her toolbox and why they workThis episode is relevant whether or not you identify as having sexual difficulties. Because the way we relate to sex is shaped long before illness enters the picture and understanding that is where the shift begins.Supported by Convatec Continence Care and the Me+ free emotional wellbeing support programme for intermittent catheter users.🎙️ How We Really Feel is hosted by Dr Sula Windgassen, health psychologist, specialist psychotherapist and author of It's All In Your Body. Each episode explores the biology and humanity behind the mind-body connection for people navigating chronic illness, bladder and pelvic conditions, burnout and trauma and the clinicians who support them.This episode is supported by Convatec Continence Care and their Me+ Emotional Wellbeing programme - free holistic emotional wellbeing support for intermittent catheter users. 💙 Visit www.howwereallyfeel.com/in-partnership-with-convatec to access the Me+ Continence Care resources.More from:Lorraine Grover - https://lorrainegrover.com/Kate Moyle - https://www.katemoyle.co.uk/📚 Show notes and additional resources: 👉 www.howwereallyfeel.com📱 Instagram.com/the_health_psychologist_Dr Sula Windgassen is author of It's All In Your Body 👉 https://amzn.eu/d/0c2J0j18