The Day You Realise You Don't Need To Be Chosen Anymore

Episode OverviewThis week, we explore the need to be chosen — at work, in friendships, in love, and in family roles. For years, being picked can feel like proof of worth… and not being picked can quietly unravel us. We unpack how midlife starts to loosen that wiring, and how the shift from “please choose me” to “I choose me” changes everything.Key Discussion PointsAileen notices she no longer needs praise or an invitation to feel valuableJulie reflects on how fear of rejection shaped her choices for yearsHow “shape-shifting” shows up in friendships, family roles and people-pleasingThe romantic reframe: not “Do they want me?” but “Do I choose them?”How to spot when you’re still living in “please choose me” modeListener TakeawaysBeing chosen isn’t proof of worth - and not being chosen isn’t proof you’re lackingFear of judgement can be just as exhausting as chasing validationMidlife often brings clarity: you stop auditioning and start choosingYou can care deeply without over-explaining, over-giving, or over-performingSelf-worth grows when you trust your own choice, not someone else’s approvalBetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first monthIf you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.