'The 'dream world' is painful - how do I loosen it?', Listener question

Can you please help me out? The 'i' concept is not real. Like Allan Watts said in the quote you discussed on the "Saturday quote podcast."But the experience of it seems real. I can see that we are the lifeforce/consciousness but on the other hand my experience from nanosecond to nanosecond differs.. i sometimes really get lost in the stories the i (made of thoughts intangeled in each other) spins. Full of blame, selfpity, anger and fear. Then my body gets contracted, my heart area hurts. I want to have control (to stop it) but that keeps the whole structure intact.When the "i" gives it up, i notice the story collaps. And i am free! But there is still a need for control, how can i lossen this? Or is that (the need to lossen it) the problem? What to do?