100% New episode of two bears 1k Tommy. I have my first one cave 1k 1k 1k 1k 1k Three Ks. Yeah, I have a first reason nice. Yes.
Where was it? Am I bedroom? What is it? What are their names?
I didn't I didn't get their names. I was on Oculus. Oh fuck. Yeah.
Yes. Let me take it. Oh, well I mean, yeah, it's hard to go back to one person. I know I did I didn't do enough of a deep dive my son got a The our headset.
I was like let me show you the best site is awesome dude This this takes apart your soul. It's crazy. It's in it's it's just it too, right? You're like dude.
I was in a five-some I was only an one out of town And I've never been able to use the oculus I'm afraid someone's gonna walk into me like a blind person jacking off just in the room and someone's like he gets done I don't just claps mm-hmm, and so we anchor that time for two days So I remember the bus I got the oculus where I race home. I'm like charging them in the car. Yeah Fucking throw them on. Yeah one girl.
Just me in this check. Yeah, and I was quick I'm I was it was good and I was like I'm gonna find my fucker again tonight Yeah, yeah, and so I get Later that night. I'm like in bed. I'm like mine No, no, I started watching it was I think it was Saturday and there was some football going on Sunday And it's raining.
It's beautiful and I go I should explore these off So I go and get this thing it's called brink and you can travel the world and I'm like cool But then I'm sitting at the corona arch in in the Mojave desert. I'm going I should have someone stuck my dick On here. Yeah, for sure. What am I?
I mean why isn't someone stuck in my dick? Yeah, if it's there I want my dick sucked You have to do the dual screen where like you see the desert and then the blow jobs over here Tommy Yeah, I was this is how bad I got I got the screen where you can see reality I can see the screen I'm watching football and there's a chick fucking another check in the corner My house on the dog bed and I'm just sitting here going. This is I know that this is the end of humanity It is the end of humanity. We're definitely about so just it's all about to end I'm I and so then and then the fucking the devil's tongue was I get my first.
It was a two-some No three some three some okay. Oh, I got to seven people. Wow. I was a DJ It was an Airbnb and they didn't want to lose their positive and they were like we have an extra day you should hang out with us Yeah, yeah, oh my god, sorry dude.
It got those girls Should be getting stuck in the company because they're giving away a part of their soul forever Yeah, they're they are different than porn stars. They're losing their humanity. They Know I'm being serious if you are a VR girl. I have some tips.
There's one girl. Yeah, she gets on top of me She got her two friends are working my nipples. That's nice She's on top of me friends making out with her another girl's playing with her tits And she got red hair and she looks at me She was looking in the eyes when you fuck me and I look up I'm staring in her eyes Tom and I said out loud is this real Yeah, so I had like I like fucking about nine words I was texting you the whole time. I just got done an orgy.
Yeah, this is crazy I mean by the last day Leanne's got a flight home and I know I'm out to race to get one more or two I'm in my room murdered out blacked out curtains. It's in their whispering in your ear last when I get yeah It's a five-some. Oh, no, it's a three for some. I'm a mental patient who's lost his memory and they're trying to jog my memory Oh, that always helps me get your dick sexy.
Yeah. Yeah, dude I the last but I haven't done it in over a year and a half I had it in the VR headset in my office and the last time I did it I I came as I walked into my desk It hurts so bad that it traumatized me I haven't I haven't used it again. This one girl is one girl said to me she goes I'm I'm fucking this one chick and this other chicks playing a whisper in my ear And then I hear this girl go look at me and I look at me She's looking a little pervert and I was like oh Oh, I came right away. I was like got him a pervert.
Oh god, and then and then Leeanne came in Leeanne came home Mm-hmm great to see you. Yes. Can we go back to you? Hey, let's do it in the dark.
I'm just gonna put my sleep apnea mask on And I had to tell her I had to tell her I go just you know I've been like nine orgies this weekend Yeah, she was like what I go oculus goggles. She goes why would you even do that and I was like no I don't know best. Yeah, it's the bet. They do this one.
They did this one move This is just for us oculus insiders where where they make you eat their Pussy, I don't know how to say it. I know but there's everyone says on the live now So I don't know what they're saying. Oh, I get flagged. Yeah, they make you do it They get it right here where you're almost going like this.
Oh, it's right in your fucking it's like 8k You gotta see a dermatologist. This is not I was like where's the end lady up in and they did research Do you know that women men pause lose their labia? What really? I fucking found that out.
How do they lose it? I don't falls off. I guess it's gonna drop us under a pillow and then we're gonna wish that's pretty cool No, it's but these young girls have crazy fucking labias like and I'm just like what's a lot of labia man? I'm 53.
I mean something a little more discreet. Mm-hmm. It was but I kept thinking so this is my fault You know, I've never understood and I don't mean this to tack anyone or anything But I've never understood guys who leave shitty comments on like women's accounts. Yeah, like you're a whore you hope Hope you guys proud fucking whore.
We're brought next time you skateboard. You're like, what's going like never stood that guy And then he's got a family. Yes, and then his bio is like Christ Christ's first believer. Yeah.
Yeah I love the girls that I love when women post the got the picture of the guy is hateful comment. Yeah, I never stood there's guys I never I never leave negative comments. I do leave comments, but they're always funny I know I'm I left one on Anthony Jessel mix the other day, and I know I didn't even look at something No, I'm gonna get trashed and he just like all the smart comics are doing book clubs It's like the big thing these days really yeah, yeah, but there's a bunch of you to oh John Laney and Anthony Jessel Nick. Yeah, and so they do and Mulaney.
It was like 600 page books and you're like, okay Yeah, you can really read. Yeah, yeah, imagine how much you can read on coke. I've been flew through those book I bet there's rock coke books And so just next book is called the getaway And he's like just looks new thing is like in my book club. I'm only doing a cool.
I'm doing a dress Yeah, in my book club. I'm only doing books with great fucking endings So you gotta it's gonna be a great ending in the best ending I know the getaway and I go to the comments And it's like every smart fucking nerdy comic like Pat and Oswald. This was one of the best books I reread this three times over the summer and the ending is crazy. And then it's another smart comic This is the best ending I've ever seen I can't wait to hear people saying and so I just wrote a comment Hey, can somebody tell me how this book ends?
Yeah, and I'm getting just by kippy By the book by the book. Are you reading it? No, no, no, I got I got what was it Rugrats I reading diaries I bought I rig a wimpy kids the rig getaway on accident and it showed up And I was like this is not the one I ordered and I've bugging posted it. Did I send it to jaslinic?
I wasn't gonna post it. I bought I sent it to jaslinic jaslinics reply was I'm amazed that you use Instagram to communicate with people. I'm laughing hysterically. You're communicating with me through Instagram versus like a text I don't know.
Yeah, I don't have numbers. I'm just the I'm video. Oh, no Spades the same way it does. That's how spade communicates spade leaves only sense voice notes.
Yeah, voice notes He only says voice notes, but I got this book. I'm gonna read it. I was like those guys that are smart But here's a point. Here's what I never leave comments.
Okay, negative comments. I just don't do it There's things I don't like we don't comment I just like I'm not a big fan of the WMA, but I'm not in their fucking comment section like this is what it's fucking wrong with America Yeah, yeah, when we go on with Oculus and I thought I'm gonna like some bitches up online light them up. It's It's loneliness. It's loneliness not being attached to a real world.
Yeah, and you know what else is dude It's it's that you have a place to put it now See like before you know this shit existed you didn't have the out Like this is the outlet the outlet is you can go to someone's page and be like fuck you Yeah, that didn't exist before you to write a letter and put a stamp on it like that's not a thing anymore So if you're if you're a dude and probably not in great shape, right dandruff black shirt shows up everywhere not thriving not thriving Not not you know, I'm really kind of one weekend alone. I was by myself the whole weekend No, even no one even called me Tom. You're the only person I texted no one called me I didn't get any texts on Sunday night Leanne had Sandy and Tom our friends reach out going Hey, you haven't talked to anyone all weekend. Would you like come over for dinner?
And I was like I got oculus here I got fucking set of bitches waiting in my room. Yeah, the fuck am I going with you guys? I got a little taste of it I got a taste of what it's like to be I guess what they'd say is like an I don't say in cell But you know you know lonely dude is loneliness lonely dude who's just like living in Living in online and having that beer expression and not and not especially if you don't drink and maybe you smoke what weed There's no reason to go out Yeah, and I really like I don't mean this like I'm not trying to be like deep But really at the end of that week I understood those dudes who leave negative comments cuz I was like yeah, I get it You don't have something you're not gonna get noticed if you say something nice that you're right You're right you're not gonna get noticed if you're like dude your special was great We're a bird your new series is awesome, but if you're like Bert Oh, that was the best. I don't read comments But I got the little girl that plays I love in my show her mom texted me She was I hope you're okay with this, but Lulu's lighting people up in your comments And I was like what and she's screen grab and it was you know It's the trailer to free bird.
Oh, yeah And some dudes like this dude fell off. Yeah, and then Lulu who's fucking 10 wrote off your mom And she's just lighting these dudes up and then these dudes are coming after not knowing she's 10 Oh, and you're like I go hey just do I don't care, but I don't want her. I don't want her. She's not good.
She doesn't stand up for me Yeah, that's really adorable But I understand that guy that goes he gets more attention and now he's in a fight and now he's got a communication And now he's got something to do that day I'm not defending the guys who leave negative comments But I'm understanding it after that weekend alone is like you're sitting there with with with little to nothing to do And you throw a hateful thing out and then someone's like fuck you and now you're talking Yeah, you got it to work No one in the world wanted to talk to you and now someone wants to talk to you and it's a fight and it reinforces that like if I Say the hateful thing. That's how I get someone to talk to me And if you reply or I reply yeah, that's I mean that's a fucking home run. That's like shut up I got no fucking celebrity's head. Yeah, that's the reason I don't read comments is is one day one guy got in my head And and I and this guy who I don't know kind of fucked my day up and I was like why would I let that happen?
I would ever allow my day to get fucked up, but then I understood step guys not he doesn't hate me He's not he doesn't he just needs someone to talk to yeah, he's lonely dude. Yeah, yeah, it was really I'll tell you what oculus changed They're so greasy Grafting sports book an official sports betting partner of the NFL makes every playoff moment feel bigger the NFL playoffs are finally here And things are heating up whether you're riding with your team every week or basing who you root for off of vibes Having some skin in the game makes every play matter And here's the best part drafting has your back with early exit protection If the player in your eligible NFL prop that goes down at any point in the first half you still get paid in cash That way you won't be left watching the island off the field in the first quarter while filled with betters remorse It's even better for prop bets whether you're rooting for a specific player or counting on a certain yardage to win big You can make your pick and even if something goes sideways early draft Kings has you covered Download the drafting sports book app and use the code bears. That's code bears e er s to turn five bucks into 300 in bonus Best if your bet wins in partnership the draft Kings casino the crown is yours gambling problem call 1-800 gambler new york Call 877-7-8 open wire text open y Connecticut call 888-7-8-9-7-7-7-7 or visit cpg.org on behalf of boot hill casino in Kansas We're your tax pass through may apply in Illinois 21 and over in most eight's void in Ontario restrictions apply That must win to receive bonus best which expire in seven days minimum odds required for additional terms and responsible gaming resources c'dkng.com Audio limited time offer what do they say two things are unavoidable death in taxes? They never want to know that you never want to think about death ever ever I never want to think about it often That's why I got life insurance because one day I will be gone and you take care of my daughters and my wife They're not as good as I am.
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Yeah, I'm dropping fucking Oh, yeah, you don't know the panic when you drop your fucking handles in a dark room And the screen goes to black with a pause button You're like how the fuck do I get back in this orgy and you're rubbing everything and trying to find like Helen Keller trying to find the two fucking handles Yeah, get back in the goddamn orgy. I think I'm done with oculus That was it. Well, I had sex with Leeanne. Yeah, we she got home.
Is it better? It feels better. Oh, yeah Feels it definitely feels better with the human. Yeah, but she doesn't talk like I wanted to watch a couple of them I just feel like looking in the eyes you pervert.
Yeah, that's pretty cool Yeah We gotta get away from your boys. You can't your boy. No, no, they they boys should not have them No, they're not. They're just they're they're just lobbying for more violent games.
They're like listen Okay, I know we're kids, but these are games. Like why can't we just do GTA five? And I'm like just no and they're like, you know why there's this room. I went to I went to this room I was on oculus the whole fucking weekend.
Yeah, I went to this room I was like, what's this and it's like a spaceship and you're in space and you're like this and I see this dude run across this Like oh jogging I go who the fuck is this guy and then all of a sudden this guy comes up and goes Hi, what's your name? I look over and it's a dude right now. What and then it goes enable microphone and I was like, no, I was like you Gotta get away from your boys. Your boys.
We so just for everyone They're doing that. They don't have like the oculus. They have The playstation Okay, um, but they're just like I just want to go shoot stuff. I'm like, yeah, I know we It's funny I've been talking a lot about uh Our friendship to like people like uh Because our friendships really interesting like we are business partners Yeah, and we are friends When you get money your friendship, you're turning the different wealthy people in a weird way But your friendship's still there.
Yeah, but just things like I was telling someone Yesterday like the first time I made good money. You're like, you should treat yourself That's what you're doing. You get good money. Treat yourself You send me a picture of this goochi bag and I was like nice So I went to doochi in Vegas I know and bought this $3,000 bag and I sent a picture of it to you and you go, oh, I didn't like it I go, huh?
I got there for Christina and I went for myself and you're like, I have the woman's bag and I'm like, oh fuck But those but that's the interesting thing is like and and so but we got like This is gonna sound weird but forget sometimes only because we work so much together How good friends we are and I realized that Christmas Eve. Yeah. Oh, because we got to hang out. Yeah, dude We were in DC.
We should set the stage. We were in DC because we were both doing uh press with Netflix for uh, my special came out It's called t-shirts. Thank you. Awesome.
And then your series is coming out free bird comes out Just a second only on Netflix. So because Netflix had the broadcast which was commanders cowboys Um, and they're you know, they're they did I think they had 40 promos on this broadcast because they knew so many people would be watching Um of all their stuff. We were there. We were both there.
I was there with Christine and the boys and then you were there alone I was there with Kyle. Oh with Kyle and then you're like, hey, let's um, you know, this is this is no This is what I talk about with the friendship is that I go I hit you up old school like the regular Tom and bird I was like yo Christmas Eve I hang out with you in your family and you're like, of course and then it's like I got closer I was like you know, I'm a lot and I you know and I am and sometimes you just want to hang out with your family in the Room and not and not go do something or go to dinner and maybe like everyone wants to do the bajamas I want to move you what am I doing the drinking pot in the corner? Yeah, and so I hit you up the next day I was like, hey, just you know, don't you don't have to invite me to Christmas Eve I can do my own thing and then you're like, I definitely want you a Christmas Eve Yeah, so we pull up to the hotel and I see your boys You're getting out of the car and push is talking to the driver or some of the back and I go up to your boys I go, please let me see you right now and they go fat sticks They're like we knew you were coming we knew you were coming I got fucking all suppressors for you guys No, like when we got him I go you get him tonight and they're like, oh, what are you doing right now? You come to our room and I was like, I was like, I don't know what's and then pushed on me She was like hey, and it was so yeah fun.
It's like old school. It was old school. It was so fucking We hung out you hang out with the kids and everything Christmas Eve dinner and they were They were just themselves. They're Do you want me to jump my brother out?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think I can tap you out your oldest has so much Energy It's wild and you're youngest is a one of one. I know he's that fucking child is Every day now.
He's like and I wear my suit today And I'm like I mean we're going downstairs to the lobby of the hotel He's like he's out of no He can wear your suit and then he wears a suit and then people go you're dressed up He goes I love fashion and they're like, how old are you? He's like I'm seven He's like and you love fashion. He's like, yeah, so did David Bowie and he just tells them like that's what he said to me He goes I swear to god. He goes.
Do you like David Bowie? And I see Christina go, okay. Yes. I go.
Yeah, I love David Bowie He goes did you know David Bowie's been dead nine years now? I didn't know that he thought of liver cancer And I was like, okay, and he was like, do you know? I know every David Bowie song and I said you do it He goes yeah, yeah, yeah, I quiz me and I was like what yeah, he loves David Bowie And then randomly I get home and my favorite podcast is an hour documentary on David fucking Bowie I started playing it for him. Oh my god.
He was he was like lit up. Just totally. It's so funny They're very different boys, but perfect brothers. Yeah, they're good and they do they fight, you know Oh, yeah, fucking fight like I have to physically separate and then two seconds later.
They're just like hanging out laughing and yeah Ellis gets on a subject. He goes he goes, uh, do you think I type you out? I was like what and you're like Ellis takes jiu-jitsu. He goes I'm really good Do you think I type you out?
I said my daughter takes jiu-jitsu and immediately is just focused and he goes what bell is she? Yeah, I don't know she used to take lessons. He goes what bell is she can you find out what bell she is? Do you think I can fight your daughter?
Do you think I can take your daughter down? I bet I can tap her out. I'm really good He does fight with the bigger kids and then and then Julian's like I didn't like jiu-jitsu. Yeah, I know we were on that We were on vacation and like other people would be like, you know, people see kids and they're like, how are you doing?
Like where you from? He would introduce himself as a champion cross-country runner. Oh, yeah, I was like, and they're like, oh, okay He's like, yeah, I'm fucking I'm really fast. They're like that's nice to meet you I leaned into the boys and I said, hey, do you think it would be cool if I went on your vacation like don't tell your parents I just show up and like almost like a spy I show up and prank them the whole time and I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, this is gonna be great.
This is gonna be great at the end of the night. You're coming on vacation. I go, I don't know a check. He goes, no, you need to let me know and I was like, okay, dude, Christmas day.
We went to the game, which was so fun. I didn't see any of it. I showed up, did my part and got on a plane left. It was so fun and they were they were, you know, my big disappointment in life so far.
I know it has been that they don't like football. Yeah, and I was like, so I had you guys to tell them all the time. Like, that was the only reason you were born was to watch football together. And every time I've been watching football over the years, they're like, they'll walk in the room.
They'll be like, oh, shit. If you watch something else and I'm like, you're out of the will. You're not even part of this family, right? Like, just anyway, as the years have gone by, a little more interest.
And then when I was like, we're going to a game, I could see that there was, I was like, oh, this might be like the thing. So we get there and they're like, you know, they're looking at the stadium and Netflix put us in a suite that they had and they were like, this is fucking awesome in the suite. Um, I don't think anybody, no, no, no, it wasn't anybody like that. It was mostly people you wouldn't know really, but it wasn't like packed in there either.
But they were like taking it in and they were like, they had so much interest. I was like, oh, this is great. I started to like, it's like what you dream about. I was like, explaining the game was happening because they had zero interest before.
And so I'm like laying out. And then they're like, so like, I'm like, it's, it's Dallas versus Washington. And they're like, who do we cheer for? And I'm like, I don't know, I mean, we live in Austin.
So Dallas is pretty close and they're like, we're definitely Dallas. And I was like, all right, cool. And they're like, come on. Come on.
Come on, Texas. I was like, you know, it doesn't work like that. And they're like, what? I go, is Dallas.
You got it. You got to be specific. It's Dallas. And they're like, Oh, okay.
And they would scream out the open window. They're like, Cowboys. Yeah, Washington sucks. And then like everybody in the suite was rescuing or commanders fans.
Yeah. And they would be like, turn their heads to these two little psychos, Julian and his suit, of course, and like screaming about it. And they got really into it. So the main thing is I, you know, season's ending, but I'm like, I got to get these guys to games more.
That's, that's what I learned is like, you got to get into a game. But anyway, at the end of the day, it was Christmas day, we go back to the hotel and we're sitting there and it's like finally winding down. The energy of the day is winding down. And then Alice sits there and I see him kind of like head down.
Like, what's up? He goes, I miss, I miss Bert. I go, really? He goes, yeah, he's my fat uncle.
I go, I go, well, we can see him again. He goes today. I go, no, he left. He goes, oh, all right.
I wish I wanted so bad to go sit in the suite with you guys. I knew I knew they were asking. They're like, is Bert coming? Is he coming up?
I was like, I don't know. I think he's got to catch a flight. And every, like 20 minutes, he's like, is Bert coming up now? I was like, well, he's working right now.
That's so fucking good. I told them, I told them, I said, we got to do a family trip. I'll take my girls and you guys come with you guys. And they're like, what?
I was like, let's go to Africa. And then I told my girls and my girls were like, well, we have to babysit them. And I said, absolutely not. And they're like, we're in this episode sponsored by BetterHelp.
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Okay. And this is based off of need. I was talking to Shannon Sharp the other day. Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake to promote the new show.
Amazing. Yeah, I think I'm going to get a lot of shit for it. You ever do a podcast in the second you got a car? You're like, I definitely shouldn't have said that.
I'm going to get a phone call from Kevin Hart. No, Jesus. No. No, he just looks at me.
Shannon Sharp goes, you said Kevin Hart needs to talk about all the luck in his life. I was like, who does your research? Fucking the internet. God, that's a deep cut.
I said that once to a fucking girl fucking 10 years ago. Yeah. And I was like, I can't wait for this. These are going to be some viral clips.
That was always the folklore. And then I broke it down. I said, you know, every comedian needs like that one stroke of luck. I go, we all got it.
And for me, it's the machine story going viral. That one girl posts the clip that says the story is 100% true. I was in my his class. He fucking robbed us.
That helped me. That's the spark. And I go, Tommy, it was Tommy got on Netflix. At the same time, Bill Burr was on Netflix.
It's the only two comics. Bill Burr's huge. I don't know if I actually said this. I think I said Netflix.
But you got on Netflix with Bill Burr, and they go, did you like Bill Burr? Then you're going to love Tom Scurret. And all of a sudden, I'm going to be saying, I don't need to do presses too much. My stroke of luck, honestly, was really that Comedy Central said no.
That was my stroke of luck. They said no, and then Netflix was just in licensing stuff. They were like, we want to license a bunch of shit. It's like 2013.
That was my, you're right. And they were like, yeah, these are specials and they were like, yeah, we'll take it. And I go, Bill Burr's luck is that Philly ramp. That goes viral.
And everyone's like, this guy's a fucking genius. I go, Jim Jeffries got punched in the head of the comedy store. He happened to have a manager, Brad Vincent, who knew how to work the internet. So he took the clip off the security cam, posted to my space, goes viral.
I go, Rogan calls out, I go, listen, I mean, listen, this is my take. And I'm allowed to have my opinion. But without that man, see a video and Rogan getting kicked out of the comedy store losing his agent. And all of that, the punishment he got from this team, maybe he doesn't reset and start his podcast.
Maybe he's not sitting there going, what are we going to do today? It's an interesting take. But then the fucking irresponsible part of me is I, one time I heard a drunk agent say the only reason Kevin Hart got Fool's Gold is because Cat William's back to gun is like it's go to the trip. Yeah.
And they, and they said, Pat Cowie, they were shooting the movie. They're ready to shoot it. And they're like, they're like, yo, we need someone who'll sit fit into a fucking medium. I don't know that that's offensive because I think the thing is that like, everybody gets a thing, right?
And like, Kevin's credit, like, what he's done is taken whatever opportunity he was given and knocked it out of the park. Right. He's not there. He's not here by accident.
No, but, but everyone has that one spark of luck. Yeah. Really catapult. I mean, that's crazy to say.
Okay, good. I mean, someone's going to act like it's real crazy to say 100% of course. And then all those guys on Oculus goggles that are going to light me up. I just give you my number.
You call me and talk. Yeah. And then I said some stuff about Tracy Morgan. I just, it's going to be, I think people are going to love it.
But I said to club, I said to Shana Sharpe, who's by the way, so much bigger in person. Yeah. He, I said, he's jacked. He's like 60 or something.
He's jacked. Yeah. And he's, and he drank, we drank a half a bottle of coffee, which by the end, I'm just drunk. Yeah.
And then I started interviewing him. And I asked him a question that's kind of fucked me up now. Okay. I said, what's the difference between when you had a million dollars?
When you first signing, even seventh round draft pick wasn't much, didn't expect much. His first resiting bonus was for $450,000 with $700,000 bonus, right? So it's over a million dollars. Yeah.
I said, what's the difference between now, then and now when you have this money? And he thought about it. And he goes back, then I had to wait to buy a watch. And I said, yeah, and he goes, now I just buy watches.
I said, which was better. And he goes, then I said, so what are we doing? Like, if it was better than what are we doing? He was like, I don't know.
I guess you want security to put your family, you know, take care of your family and stuff. And I thought about it. Now, I want to wheel it down so it's fun for everyone to do this game. If you're listening and maybe we put it in the comments.
I did it to Leanne today, and I'm curious what your answers are. We'll start with shoes. How many pair of shoes does a man need in his life? You're talking the wrong guy.
You're looking at the other wrong guy. I had a shoe edition for a period, and I have a room full of shoes that I don't use. And now I'm looking at them going, this is wasteful. Do you know that I've gone?
I don't know what I told you that what you're talking about is something that I've been feeling and dealing with. And it's not like a big thing, but it's like, which was like the idea of excess and wastefulness. So in the last few months, it really occurred to me what you're saying. And so I got rid of...
This is grotesque. I got rid of 80 pairs of shoes, right? Because I was looking at them and I was like, what is this? Then I did it for cars.
I was like, this is so stupid. I really did. I was like, what am I doing? The same thing you're saying.
Really? Yeah, I was like, why do I... I go, these are just... I never wanted to be like a museum piece person.
Like, let's just look at this, you know, for anything. And then I also did it, I've done it for watching. No, don't do that. Okay, I said to Leanne, how many watches does a man need?
That's how it started. I didn't want to say that because I know watches. And I did it for trigger warning. For just clothes.
I just felt like it's... It actually is more anxiety-inducing to have this overwhelming abundance of like stuff. And then you go, what do I even really love or like? And I know it's like a boo-hoo comment.
People are like, oh, I got too much stuff. It's true. I got too much stuff. And it doesn't feel good.
It doesn't feel good to have too much stuff. And so I've donated stuff. I've gotten rid of stuff. I've sold stuff.
So wait, okay, so the first one I asked her is, how many shoes does a man need? And she said, you need a pair of nice shoes. You need a pair of running shoes. And you need a pair of kick-around shoes.
And a pair of flip-flops. She said four? Four pairs of shoes. That's a little low.
That's a little low. And I said, just ball parking. And I want to know what your answers are. I wish I could be comments.
I'd love to know what people think. I said a total no more than nine pairs of shoes. Yeah, I mean, I think if you are your working person, you have a job. You like having shoes.
Yeah. You got to probably got work boots. Yeah. Like let's say you have your work boots, your dress shoes.
Let's say a black and brown pair. Black and brown pair. Then you have your trainers for the gym. Let's say you're a runner, you're like weightlifting, you have separate shoes for that.
And then for like your everyday life, you know, there's most people want some variety, right? So if you have like black ones and blue ones and great. Like I do think capping it. You don't have to put a cap on it, obviously.
But to me, it's like once you have 20 pairs of shoes. You're on. Yeah, you're like, and then what I really, the reason I was thinking about this was like I was walking at like, what am I going to wear today? And I realized that I was always pulling like the same like eight pairs of shoes.
Yeah. And that the other ones were just decorations and the same thing for like driving. I was like, what am I doing? Like I have like, and it's fine.
I understand there's people there are car collectors and I know people personally who have 60 cars and they're thrilled with it. And I've been to their garage and I was insane. And I'm, I think it's, it's awesome if it works for you. I don't think it works for me.
Christian, how many pairs of shoes do you have? I'm going to guess three. How many, how many, seven, eight in college and college? I had two pairs of shoes.
Yeah. I had running shoes and flip-flops. I only wore flip-flops everywhere. Yeah.
I wore flip-flops everywhere. Yeah. I wore yours, by the way, over vacation. Well, thank you.
Yeah. Those are great. They're great. They're great.
We were still, we were still making them. Those are great. Yeah. He changed the design and the design.
I like the new design. So I stopped wearing them. I just wear all the old ones. I have nine pairs of old ones.
I flip-flops are bad. Okay. How about shirts? How many shirts should a man have?
I mean, I just, let's just do t-shirts. t-shirts? How many t-shirts should a man have? I think you want to have, you want, you probably want doubles at least of like.
Two black. Yeah. Two white. Two white.
Yeah. Yeah. And then, if you have like, let's say a variety of six or seven others. You kind of like, that's the end of where?
How many t-shirts do you have? Don't, don't. Ball part it. Now we're, because I just did the purge.
Before the purge? Before the purge? Before the purge. A few hundred.
Oh, okay. A few hundred. I have my sister, Annie. She does, I don't know.
Jackets, bro. Oh, I remember you went through a jacket phase. It's not over. How many jackets do you have?
Hundreds. Are you serious? Yeah. But I also have been like, yeah, it's, I realized, dude, that it is, it is like a form of self-soothing and like, it's an impulse thing.
And the thing I had to like, try to work on is, is to not act on the impulse to stop for a second and go, do I really want this? Do I really need this? Will I use this? And sometimes when I just ask myself that for anything, just the act of asking myself that gets me to not do the impulse by and then leave.
And then I think the thing you do is you go, if this is something that sits with you and you keep going, like, oh man, I really want these shoes or whatever. Then you go, okay, it's been like in your head, but I've been acting off of impulse for too long. I've been acting off impulse. I look at my shirts.
I look to my t-shirts today. I only wear the same shirt. I wear the same shirt every day. And I looked at my shirts.
I realized my problem is nostalgia. I looked at my shirts this morning as I had this thought last night, this morning when I woke up. Because, you know, Leanne put in, I have separate bedrooms now. And so I'm in my bedroom.
Feels good. I brought only when I needed to my bedroom. And so her closet is full of all the collectors stuff I have. Like all the stuff I don't touch.
I brought all my shit there. And then I left all my other shit in her room. And so then I was like, Jesus. Like, I guess I only wear, you know, one pair of pants.
I think that's really what it is, dude. And I, yeah. What? I'm like, upset.
Not upset. But I was like, I realized how silly I feel about the consumption. Like about just obtaining, acquiring all this shit. And then I realized that it doesn't bring me joy.
It's not fulfilling. It's causing me to feel like, what the fuck? I feel like I'm on PCP? Like I'm fucking lunatic.
And I'm like, this doesn't feel good. So that's why I was just like, I gotta get rid of shit. I almost enjoy when I stain a tracksuit. Because I go, what?
We get rid of this? I spill a meatball. I drop the meatball down my... I had a nice polo.
I would do a tracksuit phase. So I do remember this. I would do a tracksuit phase. And I got...
I polo tracksuits in every color gray, navy blue, black, and light blue. And when I flew to... You eyeballed me. I didn't tell you this.
You eyeballed me so hard. When I went to your room, Christmas Eve, I was in a tracksuit. And you sat there. We were talking.
Remember? We sat in your room. You kept going. And I don't know if it was my tracksuit.
I didn't say anything. I was like, really? I'm so hard. It was your tracksuit.
It was your tracksuit. But I got on, I dropped the meatball down my tracksuit. And I was like, there's no way this is coming out and throwing this away. And I was like, nice.
I got rid of a tracksuit. And I put a shout on it. And you can still see the things. I go, okay, I'll work out in the pants.
I have a hard time. I have a shirt from 2001. And you're going, by the way, how much are you down? You look good.
Oh, we should do a majority. 30 pounds. 30 pounds. Which means, and you have to do this, you need new clothes.
You have to get rid of bigger clothes. You have to get rid of it. All my pants, none of my pants fit. I'm at the very beginning of my belts.
I'll tell you, man, and I only say this not like... I follow a lot of fat people. I follow almost exclusively fat people. Like, you know those fatty baddies?
They go, I'm a fatty baddie and this is what I eat in a day. I start, I'll tell you right now, if you're a woman and you're in good shape, okay, and you're thinking to yourself, I'll never get fat. But when you wake up, you make a coffee and put four pumps of caramel and coffee creamer and whipped cream and sprinkles on it, you're going to be fat. That is the key.
That is the every fatty baddie I watch. I mean, the plus-sized park hoppers. They all get crazy coffee orders. Ladies, ladies, ladies, your coffee should be coffee with a splash of cream.
That's it. No fucking sugar. I'm telling you. I think it's just ladies, dude.
It's a bunch of dudes. I follow the baddie. I remember I texted you. You follow a lot of bizarre shit.
Dude, I follow these rappers from like Michigan. They're like five dudes and they're always in the woods and like one dude wears a Jason mask. And it always starts with the guy jumping off the thing and he's like, it's so good. It's good?
Yeah, but it's like, I don't know why. You know, there's this thing. There's this thing I recognize in people that I identify with and it's the need to be seen. And mine's shallow.
I get on stage to do it. I want to be seen. I want to be heard. I do podcasts because I want to be seen.
My goal in this year is to be less seen. I think I, same thing with overabundance. I think I want to be seen so much that I got kind of annoying to people. It's like I was everywhere.
And people go like, you're the TikTok guy? And I'm like, no? You're all over my TikTok. And I was like, I don't think I am.
Yeah, you're the TikTok guy. But like, that's what I identify with people online who like, like these rappers, where they're like, yeah, the guy always jumps off something in the woods. And they're all intimidating. But they're, honestly, they're not.
This is the best it's going to get for them. I'm not getting signed by Dr. Dre. Right.
They're not, the raps aren't awesome, but they're making me happy. And so I understand that. Do you have, do you know what I'm talking about? This is them.
Yeah. That's them. That's them. Okay.
Is that a real hand? Did you know who it is? Dude, this is them. Look at them.
Oh, look at them. Whoa, right. Kick it in your back door. He's reading his rap.
He reads his rap. I looked at the guy in the fucking, yeah. Snap doors with a hacksaw. Fastballs when a scrapboard.
So this is what people have been doing for generations. It's just that you can watch him now. I would argue with this everywhere. I would argue, no, like there's this girl.
There's this girl. I'm following. She's rowing across the Atlantic Ocean. And I thought I could do that.
No, no, no, no, no. I'm following her and she's sharing her journey. Hey, guys, today's the first day that I'm going to jump in the water. I've been scared to do this, but I'm jumping in the water and, you know, she jumps in the water and she goes, Hey, guys, it rained today.
There was storm and I needed it. I really need to take a bath. And, you know, and then I thought, just as a little little star experiment, I thought, what if, what if someone texted her and like, yo, Instagram no longer exists? Yeah, she'd be in the water.
She'd go, why the fuck am I doing this? Maybe I get the fuck back. Give me the fuck out of here. I don't want to be here.
I'm only here. So people see that I'm here. Yeah. And I literally thought that which she is there.
Anyone rowing across the fucking ocean that's not posting it. Is there anyone getting a sailboat and not posting their adventures on YouTube? You're right. Are there any rapper that's just rapping by himself in his fucking closet?
Probably. Yeah. That one. Yes.
But I think for the, a lot of that holy shit, endurance crazy thing, it's very few that are just doing it for the love of it for sure. Very few. And then, by the way, if we shouldn't forget to mention that the details are coming soon, but we are the five K is back for two bears, five K and jelly roll will be there. Yep.
Which by the way, now I'm like, remember how we used to be like, hold on. We got to take a knee out with this fucking guy. Yeah. Well, dude, he weighs, if I hadn't started my journal, he'd be skinnier than me.
It's fucking crazy. Is that not crazy? Yeah. 265.
I was too 70 when I started losing weight. And dude, I can't, I can't let him beat me this year. He's going to beat you. No, he's not.
If, when he gets his skin removed, he's going to be 200 pounds. He's not beating me, dude. Dude, he runs every fucking day. I'm running.
I'm running. I run. He runs every fucking day. Does he really?
Every day and he runs uphill. He's addicted. He's a, he's, because you know, like I'm jelly, you know, I love you, but jelly does have a little bit of addictive personality. A little?