The Fifth Commandment: Honor Your Parents

What this episode covers

The first four commandments focused on our relationship with God. Beginning with the fifth commandment we transition to our relationship with one another. We summarize the whole law with one word, “love”. We are called to love God in commandments one through four. Then we are called to love one another in commandments five through ten. This is the commandment all the parents have been waiting for! Children, listen up! Actually, this command is important instruction for all of us to heed. In sermons like this, I always feel the obligation to remind you that I have been preaching this to myself all week. There are moments in this message that will sting. Just know that I shook the hive first and have massive welts all over my body due to the pummeling I received. But, I survived and I pray that the Lord continues to work on my heart even now. You are commanded to honor those God has placed in authority over you for your love and care. Although this commandment has implications for all authorities over us (e.g., civil, vocational, educational, etc.), this week we are going to focus on the most foundational relationship between children and parents. Augustine If anyone fails to honor his parents, is there anyone he will spare? Next time we will focus on the other authority figures during this important time in our nation and state. Read Exodus 20:12 Let’s begin with the negative aspect of this command. I. Don’t Dishonor Your Parents The Lord instituted capital punishment for children who strike (Exodus 21:15) or curse their parents (Exodus 21:17; Leviticus 20:9). When a child has gotten to the point where they are cursing and becoming physically violent with their parents, it is extremely difficult to reel them back in. These children bring shame upon their parents, especially when these activities are seen or heard by others (Proverbs 19:26). As rebellious children get older they are more likely to become gluttons and drunkards (Deuteronomy 21:18-21). Although the consequences are no longer quite so severe, we should respond to such actions from our children with swift discipline. The last days will be characterized by children who are “disobedient to their parents” (2 Timothy 3:2). One of the worst ways children disobey their parents is by forsaking or despising their teaching (Proverbs 6:20b; 23:22b). When you get to the point that you’re rolling your eyes at everything your father or mother say, you have entered into a phase of such disrespect that is difficult to recover from. Be careful when you can dishonor them in such a flippant manner. It reveals an attitude that is steeped in anger, bitterness, and hopelessness. However, just because the instruction is given directly to children does not mean parents have nothing to learn. On the one hand, every parent also has/had parents of their own. The commandment is relevant regardless of your age or even whether or not they live within your home. Of course, as you grow older, your personal responsibility increases so that your obedience to them is not so immediate and direct all of the time. But you do have an ongoing duty to show honor. This is especially important for your aging parents who may need help coming under your protection and care. Parents, and especially the fathers, are instructed to bring up their children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:1). In both Ephesus and Colossae, Paul instructs fathers not to provoke their children to make them angry or discouraged (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21). In the heat of the moment it is all too easy for parents to either discipline in sheer anger or to be in such despair that they feel hopeless, that no punishment will ever work. If these attitudes become a pattern you might even get to the point that you feel hatred toward them. Part of your calling as a parent is to discipline your child in love. To forsake discipline is lazy and unloving to your child.

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