The First Year of Grief Is Where Most People Get It Wrong

Episode Description "Grief is already painful. But the way you're trying to survive it might be making it harder." In this episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, breaks down what most people unknowingly do in the first year of grief that increases their suffering. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just about loss. It is about what happens when you're left trying to survive something no one ever taught you how to process. The first year is the most confusing. The most painful. And the year you get the worst advice. Stay strong. Keep busy. Don't think about it. But these strategies do not heal grief. They delay it. In this episode, Sharon walks through four common patterns that make grief heavier: avoiding your emotions, pretending you're okay, comparing your timeline to others, and staying busy to escape the pain. She explains why these responses make sense, why your brain uses them to protect you, and why they end up keeping grief stuck and louder over time. This conversation is not about doing grief perfectly. It is about becoming aware of what is actually happening. Because you are not doing it wrong. You were just never taught how to do it at all. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why the first year of grief feels the hardest How avoiding emotions actually increases suffering Why pretending you're okay creates isolation The danger of comparing your grief to others How staying busy keeps grief from being processed Why your reactions make sense (even if they're not helping) Questions to Sit With After Listening Take your time with these. What emotions have I been avoiding since the loss? Where am I pretending I'm okay when I'm not? Have I been comparing my grief to someone else's timeline? When do I actually allow myself to sit with my grief? Homework for You Write this at the top of a page: "What have I been doing to avoid my grief?" Then answer honestly. Not the strong answer. Not the version that sounds like you're handling it well. The real one. Because awareness is where healing begins. Resources + Next Steps If this episode hit you, it's because something in you is ready to stop avoiding and start understanding your grief. You don't have to figure this out alone. 👉 Get the book: https://stan.store/TheGriefSchool 👉 Join The Story Room Because healing doesn't happen when you run from grief It happens when you finally face it.