The Five Reasons People Stop Listening with Jason VanRuler

div]:bg-bg-000/50 [&_pre>div]:border-0.5 [&_pre>div]:border-border-400 [&_.ignore-pre-bg>div]:bg-transparent [&_.standard-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pl-2 [&_.standard-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,ul,ol,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pr-8 [&_.progressive-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pl-2 [&_.progressive-markdown_:is(p,blockquote,ul,ol,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6)]:pr-8"> _*]:min-w-0 gap-3 standard-markdown"> What if the problem isn't what you're saying, but why you're saying it? In part two of this conversation, host Tim Meisenheimer picks up right where things left off with Jason VanRuler, therapist, coach, and author. This time they go deep into Jason's new book, Discovering Your Communication Type, built around five distinct styles: Peacemaker, Advocate, Thinker, Harbor, and Spark. Jason breaks down each type, helps Tim figure out his own on air, and gets into how understanding these styles can completely change the way you lead, love, and resolve conflict. They also talk about why teams full of conflict-averse people struggle to make hard decisions, why the same words land completely differently depending on who's hearing them, and why being a student of the people around you might be the most underrated leadership skill there is. If you've ever walked away from a conversation feeling completely misunderstood, this one will help you figure out why. What You'll Learn The five communication types (PATHS) and how to identify your primary and secondary style. Why you default to your type under pressure and how that creates conflict in relationships you care about. How to apply this framework to your team and why employee turnover is often a communication mismatch problem. The difference between speaking someone's language and manipulating them and why intention is everything. How Enneagram types map to communication styles and what that reveals about the wounds behind the way we talk. Three things that change every relationship — listen to what people say, understand why it matters, and honor it. Chapters 00:00 The Intent Behind Communication 02:56 Discovering Communication Types 05:50 Understanding the Five Communication Styles 08:47 Navigating Communication Under Pressure 12:08 The Role of Intention in Communication 14:52 Applying Communication Types in Leadership 17:49 Building Effective Team Communication 21:08 The Impact of Background on Communication 24:01 Healthy Relationships and Communication 26:52 Practical Tips for Conflict Conversations 30:12 The Joy of Making and Creating Resources Mentioned Discovering Your Communication Type by Jason VanRuler — The book at the center of this conversation. Five communication styles, why you default to yours under pressure, and how to use that knowledge to strengthen every relationship in your life. Releases April 14, 2026. The Enneagram — Referenced by Jason as a companion framework to understanding communication types and the deeper "why" behind how people show up. CliftonStrengths (StrengthsFinder) — Mentioned as part of the team training framework Tim's team has worked through alongside Myers-Briggs and the Enneagram. Five Daughters Bakery — Nashville's legendary cronut shop, name-dropped by Jason as his go-to donut destination when he's in the city.