The Flaky Friend: When We Long for Connection but Pull Away

Have you ever been excited to make plans… only to cancel when the day arrives?In this episode, The Flaky Friend, I explore a pattern many of us recognize - longing for connection while simultaneously pulling away from it. Whether you’re the friend who often cancels or the one left feeling disappointed, this conversation offers a compassionate, therapeutic lens on why this happens.I share personal reflections on building friendships while living abroad, managing a full life, and navigating nervous system overload. We unpack what “flakiness” often really is - burnout, overstimulation, people-pleasing, and capacity mismatches and how to work with it more honestly.We also talk about:Why desire for connection doesn’t always equal capacityHow to recognize your own patterns without shameWhat to do differently if you tend to overcommitHow to communicate your needs if you’re on the receiving endThis episode is about understanding, repair, and creating connections that are sustainable - not performative.