The four pillars in old age beyond spouses’ children and friends

Today’s episode is for my old friends who are on their own and feel the burden of oldage.Yes, againwe are going deep into an interesting episode entitled ‘The four pillars inold age beyond spouses’ children and friends.’ At thisjuncture of my life, I have realized something profound.  Yes, I am old, old age is inevitable.  I want to think a little out of the box aboutthis juncture of my life.  What do wereally need in old age? In old age,what truly matters isn’t how many friends you have, or even the presence of aspouse or even the presence of children or grandchildren, which may not bepossible.  It’ssomething deeper and simpler.  I thought of4 pillars apart from these.   These 4essential aspects keep me grounded, peaceful and to a certain level fulfilledalso. First is embracingsolitude positively.  How to be alonewithout seeing it as a punishment, conscious solitude doesn’t mean rejectingothers, but rather it’s an emotional independence.It is toughto be alone.  But learning to enjoy one’sown company, with a cup of coffee, a book or some yoga, transforms silence intofulfilment.  True calmness or peacearrives only when we stop constant needing the presence of others to feelcomplete.Alone-nessin itself a joyful companion.  I havelearnt this very quickly so much so that I embrace solitude not as lonelinessbut as a joyful companion.Next aspectis to have an organized and simple home. Even thoughmy own life is cluttered not just with stuff, but with so much of chaosweighing down on my spirit, I have started simplifying my space, letting go ofthings that no longer is serving me and with this my mind is also slowlyclearing.  I want to make my home into a sanctuarywhere only peace and tranquillity prevails. I have already made a few cosy corners which is really,  really making a difference in my life.  Thirdly let’snot depend on the opinions of others when we can think.My dearfriend Prabha, who lives alone by choice, once told me, “I am not everyone’scup of tea, and that is fully okay for me”That honestyfreed her to live authentically and she is enjoying life to the maximum.  We all deserve that life not defined byothers, but by who we truly are.  I amsure over some period of time; we all will learn to value authenticity morethan external approval.  What othersthink about us loses its power, when we understand that everyone carries theirown burdens, with all their joys and sorrows. True freedom arrives only when we stop justifying ourselves to others.Lastly andperhaps most importantly is learning to be necessary and useful to one’s  own self. When one ofmy elderly Aunt recovered after her illness, she found strength everyday indoing in small small rituals, like preparing her own tea, journalling memories,doing a little bit of gardening, going for small walks or listening to her favouritesongs and of course visiting nearby temples. I remember all these rituals had made her feel needed, to herself aboveall and she remains very healthy and positive till now.Organizeyour little world in a way that fills you up not drain you.The love wereceive from our spouses, children and friends is a beautiful bonus, not thefoundation of our happiness.  Let’sembrace our own lives fully while allowing them the freedom to live theirs.So, friends,in old age what truly keeps us going is not just the people around us, but thestrengths we cultivate within us, peace with solitude, determination, anorderly home and cultivating self-love.  So, let’stry and embrace these four essentials and watch how our lives becomepurposeful, peaceful and positive. So dear oldfriends, please, please share this podcast with anyone who might need theseinsights, to embrace happiness and to live a fuller meaningful life. So, withthese insights its your host Leena Madan signing off with lots and lots of loveand positivity.Until next,Bye-Bye andthank you.