And welcome to the Get to Life podcast where we have conversations about working tissue and eye donation. I'm Joey Boudreau. And I'm Sally Centry. And together we say thank you for listening.
Thank you for spreading the word continue to do that. Here's why we have lots of important things to talk about on this podcast. First of all, we'll visit with a grateful recipient who's also a songbird. So a lot of these events he's been singing to honor his daughter.
How cool is that? That's awesome. And in our recovery segment, we're going to listen to a tissue recipient who now has a different outlook on life. Oh, so good.
And in our family support segment, we're going to talk about how do you brink out of that funk? You know, when you really, really are depressed and you're just wondering is it ever going to get any better, hopefully we'll be able to share some information with you that will help it get better. Important topic, but I like hearing these Sally say funk for some reason. I like it, Sal.
Also coming up on the Get to Life podcast, we will honor a hero as we do in every podcast and we'll take your questions and answers. But we need your help. Right, guys? We need folks to continue to spread the word about this podcast.
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Let's get going. In our community segment today, a special guest close to my heart. I have been working with Mr. Charles Henderson out in the community.
He is a proud, heart recipient. And he speaks, he sings all to honor his donor, which is pretty cool. Hey, Mr. Charles.
Hi, how you doing? Good. Thanks for joining us today. Hey, Mr.
Charles, this is Joey. Laurie's been telling me so much about you. You know, she said she was a big fan of yours, especially in the singing. Okay.
And she told me that you had actually had a chance to meet your donor family. Can you tell me how they started? Yes, and after they wanted to meet with me, we had to make it about two weeks. They actually come and go to church with me.
I told them, sure. So they came on the first Sunday of our time to go, you know, the little that was shot. David, senior, do those that you kept watching one of the gentlemen in the church, which is also my cousin. And then we did a meeting greet actually doing it and doing that time.
They actually noticed each other and come by and out. They have been knowing himself for 20 years. Wow. Wow.
So let's just put it out there again. So your hero is David James Cologne, Jr. And I think dad gave him the nickname of duty, right? Yeah.
And so there was laugh because I know there's a story behind that. I like that. But can you take us back because Mr. Charles has a really good story when speaking, especially to high schoolers, he keeps it real and he has their attention.
But talk about Dudu's life and death and tell us how you came to need a heart, Mr. Charles. And that's a heart failure. In 2014, August, I went to actually, that's when they told me they needed a tramp.
They had me on a debut. I was lying in my bed on one Sunday afternoon, I heard to be exact. And they gave me a call and said, actually, because I get there. I said, I'm sure I can be there.
So I put my niece. So we took it to trip down and later that night they came into my room even when I am. They answered with all, you know, everything went perfect. And tell us what you know about Dudu's story because you've been spending so much time.
It's like your family. So you know about him, you know, about the accident. Yeah. Right.
I just came up. I'm kind of wait doing the struggles. Before it happened, they were in the conversation, her and Dudu. And he told if anything ever happened to him, you know, where they couldn't save him, he wanted to be a donor and he asked his mother to make sure that wish was ran.
So that's how we ended up with his heart, basically, because his mother made sure that was fulfilled. And I love that story. And I love Miss Jin. And I know that she'd be so proud of you honoring her son today.
Well, Charles, I know I've heard you sing before. I'm wondering, would you like to sing a little bit for us right now? No pressure, Mr. Charles.
If I can get anything out like a champ kind of congested, but hopefully God'll be in the midst of it. Falling in love with Jesus is the best thing I've ever ever done. And he did that congested. So that's pretty good, Mr.
Charles. But what's awesome is on the year anniversary of Dudu's death, Mr. Charles came back with the family to our late late hospital. They raised the donate life-lag and who was singing, Mr.
Charles? Mr. Charles was singing, when we have low-by events and Mr. Charles's area, who's asked Mr.
Charles. I know. I said, ladies, put me on the bar for you. So, and we know Mr.
Charles has big plans to use his singing to create more awareness for donation, but where you live is donation now talked about more, you think, especially in your church family? Yes, it really has. I know at least that if I was a church family, it would become donors. And then also, a community, a lot of people heard my story, you know, when I put it on Facebook, so it's going all over the country.
Family members and friends and responding to it. And like I said, we've been doing more in the family, you know, I've never heard anything, you know, donations, anything. They've been doing a lot of problems with it. So everything, you know, it's really coming in like right now.
You know, I think it's cool, is that I got a friend request from a Mr. Charles Henderson, who's now on Facebook, and he's using it to promote donation, which is awesome, Mr. Charles. No, it is.
You have to get my word out there anyway. God, it's good to me. I love it. Well, thanks to you.
We love that you do what you can to honor, do-do, and I know, Mr. Jin and David and the family. If they do, it's now me. I'm living for him.
And I love that you guys always do things together. Thank you, Mr. Charles. We appreciate you.
Thank you. I have a blessed day. Grateful recipient, guys. In our recovery segment today, we're excited.
We're talking to a tissue recipient, Miss Tanya Smith. And Joe, you actually have the opportunity to watch her speak, spread donation information. It was pretty powerful. It was very powerful.
We had a tissue education for the staff, so they can learn a little bit more, you know, about the inner workings of tissue recoveries and what it means to be a tissue kind of the day in the life of a tissue recovery coordinator. Which is fascinating in itself. Absolutely. And of course, me being the Oregon guy, I've always learned a lot more about the Oregon side, Oregon recovery sign.
But we were able to meet Miss Tanya Smith, who came in, and she gave such an electric and nice presentation, basically to the call center, to the Oregon staff and the tissue staff, just to tell us a little bit about what the tissue donation recovery or the tissue transplant meant to her. And the impact it had on her. So thank you very much, Tanya, for coming in. It's so nice to have you.
Well, I'm glad to be with you and I thank you for having me today. All right, so Miss Tanya, I was reading through your notes. You were not a registered donor. There was a car crash.
Pro donation now. So we're going to take you through the story. So May 2013 is kind of when things took a turn for you. Yeah.
May 4, 2013, I resided in Richmond, Virginia, originally from Louisiana. But I was stationed as a travel nurse in Maryland. And so up to Maryland to my calls center, ahead of me for some strange reasons, slammed on their brakes and the SUV that was behind them. Flamed was falling too close to control.
I slammed in the SUV, flipped it. The car in the back of me hit me and I hit the original car. I ended up with multiple injuries, broken into hall, your name, and it was not pretty. And also what they call it, which is commonly known as an open tip.
And being a trauma trained nurse, I looked down at the airbags deployed and saw that my foot was turned. My blood coming to face and head. But this is not going to be good. And that's pretty much the last thing I remember.
Basically trying to rebuild, reconstruct, look around and say I walk like an octopus per cup. When like flares out more of it. But it's getting better. But on that day, my surgeons saw fit with donor bone.
And bone drugs are fragments. I don't know what the exact word is. It makes my ankle very pre-walk right now. But I have a walk which is more than I would have had to not have that gift.
Do you think that I have to do my accident? My thinking and my perception of life. You know, something that would be here forever. And it's not.
It can be taken away in that very sex that things can change. And you're not promised to, I promise the next intersection honestly. I also was gifted their family was going through a horrible devastating moment in their lives. That they thought enough that I wasn't kind enough to think about even as a nurse.
I wouldn't be walking if it wasn't for them. Very grateful and ever grateful to them and to their family. If they're out there, they gave me after a year doing ER nursing anymore because I can't do that method. You know, very fast on us for a very long time.
It's for 29 years. Wow. I have a 26 year old son who I adore. And you know, there's many things that I would have missed out on.
I'm heading for this gift. And so yes, now I am a donor. I believe in it wholeheartedly. And I would recommend it to everybody because it is, we're not going to use it when we're gone honestly.
And if you believe in God, God believes in gifts. And it is better to give them to receive. But I will say it's not bad to receive even when you're not the most gracious giver, which I wasn't in the beginning. So, Tanya, you were able to write then a note to the tissue bank to thank the family?
Yes, ma'am. I wrote a two page, it wasn't a thank you letter or note, but it was a letter of gratitude. I should say not just thank you, but gratitude. And I've not heard back.
Sure. I wanted them to know for every day. And that's a wonderful thing that you did write to them because most donor families that we speak with and more particularly tissue donor families are so happy to hear that their loved ones gift has enhanced and or saved someone's life such as yourself. Absolutely.
I mean, you know, my entire world would have, I venture to say I don't even want to think about two things are important to me are being my son's mother and being a nurse and they did define me without my legs and the ability to walk. I would have been in trouble, not just physically, emotionally as well. They saved me in many ways. Yeah, we're always happy to learn from you.
We appreciate you sharing so much. I appreciate you all. I appreciate my donor's family and my donor, you know. Yeah.
And so can you kind of run through you were a nurse who said for 29 years, but you hadn't put that heart in your license till after the accident. So I'm always curious to learn the reasons why. I have to tell you, honestly, I think I was, I'm a nurse by trade and I basically, you know, I've been a nurse and either ER, ICU, in that, you know, at the time, and I have to be honest. I think I was afraid of it.
Although I had actually taken care of donors. I think I was afraid because I didn't want to face mortality. I didn't want to admit that it could be me someday. And I wasn't afraid to let go of for personal reasons or spiritual reasons.
I always thought, well, I should leave with what I came in with. The truth of the matter is you don't really leave with what you came in with, you're here at least, not you're by. So I had to come to terms with that. I had to come to terms with the fact that I was stingy all those years.
And somebody in equal devastation, if not more, because there's a permanent loss, you know, and that speaks volumes to me. And it said to me that I wasn't being very honest with life and with the frailty of it and with the help each other live longer when we no longer can. And so I'm grateful for that and yes, it did change me. And I am now.
Pretty powerful stuff, Miss Tanya. And speaking now, helping educate others. Can't thank you enough. No, thank you.
Thanks for putting that on your license and wanting to help us save more lives. We never know when it's me. And I hope it'll be 80 years from now for most of you. I hope you get that long, beautiful life.
But none of us are guaranteed anything. And I would hate to think that somebody who could use what you no longer can at that point. And honestly, you're giving something of your family and they can live on through that person in ways that you have no idea of. Well, we are happy you were on our team.
We are happy to be here. Thank you. Each and every day, girl. Miss Tanya.
I gave you guys too. I love all of you guys. I really do. I met the procurement team for tissue donation and they are total rock stars and I love them.
They're awesome, well-grounded people and everybody I met with LOPA has been nothing but kind and gracious and I love them. And that's what we hear about you, Miss Tanya. So thank you so much. Keep up the good fight, girl.
Okay. Thank you so much. All right. More to come, guys.
Today in our family supports segment. Sally is going to be talking about dealing with complicated grief. Yes, Sally. I've seen complicated grief in literature.
That's all I can tell you. And I didn't really understand it fully. What's the difference between just normal grief and complicated grief? Well, you know, Joey, on previous episodes, we have talked about grief along with the different topics associated with that.
So it's suicide, coping with the holidays, grief in the workplace, using humor and grief. But we all know someone that has experienced the death of a loved one. It seems like as time goes on. They don't have the ability to kind of adapt, if you will, as we talked about earlier, to the death and process it.
It seems as if their pain is much more intense and that it intensifies over time, which for people who are going through what we call normal grief, and that certainly is not, you know, saying that it's any less of an intense pain for individuals. But for the normative grief, that usually lasts about six months to a year. Now, the grief does, of course, continue for some period of time, but it's just, it starts to lessen. It's not near so in their face every single day.
Now, it doesn't imply that grief is completed or resolved, but rather it's just a steady integration of the loss into the fabric of their life, and it's no longer stands in the way of them ongoing with their life. Now, the intensity of the acute grief in the period of time over which occurs, you know, variable, depends on the closeness of their relationship to the deceased, and the circumstances of the death, the age of the person along with multiple other factors that go with that. But however, there is a small subgroup of individuals who, their symptoms are much more intense, much more persistent, and that's when it kind of moves into that complicated grief, because it's associated with a significant distress impairment of living life on a daily basis. And research also shows that this occurs approximately 10 to 20 percent of bereaved persons.
Complicated grief is a prolonged grief syndrome. It's characterized by preoccupation with the thoughts and the death, and why did it happen, and it's an intense and just going on yearning and hoping that the outcome will be different each day, folks wake up and say, just cannot be. How could this have happened to me or to my family? And so rather than the grief symptoms, you know, getting less intense, they seem to, as I mentioned, just in, they don't diminish.
They just intensify. And along with that is a disbelief that regarding this death, that keeps lingering, that they're just not able to integrate, how to move past this particular stage. So all that to be said, there is a lot involved in complicated grief that we will not address at this point in time. Sometimes a family or friend may think the person is suffering from intense depression, which is called major depressive disorder, because there's many similarities between the two, but there is a difference with a complicated grief.
So Sally, are there certain types of grief or certain instances that would predispose someone to a complicated grief, more so than any other types of grief? Well, Charlie, there are some risk factors that are associated with complicated grief, and those do include being female women generally, because they are more emotional, they're more of an intuitive type of greeber, and also many times low perceived social support. Maybe there are very supportive people around this individual, but they don't see it that way, that they're the only one out here. And they may not have ever had a loss in their life before, a death in their life that they've been able to go through, because many times we are able to cope with a death and adapt to it if we have experienced it.
But many times, you know, people just have not, and so this is something so foreign to them, they're not prepared emotionally to deal with it. And then many times there is a lack of support for them, and that does make a difference. So if I was a family member and I started seeing, you know, one of my family members experience this complicated grief, what type of support systems are out there, what can I do as a family member to help get that person through this complicated part of the grief? One of the things that's most important is if you can ask this person, will they be willing to go to their family physician?
If they don't have a family physician, there are different resources in the area that our family services department, we have that available, and we can certainly share that with folks, because I think it does go past the point of, just being a listening ear as a family member, because many times those of us who have not been through it, we don't really know what to say, and we're thinking this person is not getting better, what can we do to make it better for them? And it really takes many times professional assistance, and that can be once again a medical doctor or, you know, a psychologist or a mental health practitioner can help in that particular regard, because also when people are this intense with their grief, then there can be issues with health, that then can fall into it because they're not caring for themselves. So there is a multitude of things that do play into how do you help someone with complicated grief? I can see situations like that, someone who their emotional state and mental state starts affecting their physical state, and it seems like that might even snowball and even get worse for that person.
And it can, and the fact that they can become suicidal too, if this goes on. So many individuals who do go through this, once again, you know, we encourage them to reach out and get to help that they can use. And you know, I heard from some of our donor families and they said when they met their loved ones recipients, that was the best therapy because they had gone through years of therapy, and they said it wasn't working for them in that case, but then they met the lives saved, and it made it better, it made life better. Right.
Well, and I think that's what's happening for most of our donor families. I think when they hear from the recipients or they reach out to the recipients, I think that that right there does give them, you know, through organ tissue or eye donation. You know, I'd like to include all that because it's a very giving thing that they have done. They do find they're able to find more solace and strength and that, you know, extra whatever they take to get through a very difficult period for them.
And I think that's very instrumental in the grieving process. All right. Interesting. Another one.
Thanks, Sally. If you want more from Sally on this topic or maybe want her to go in a different direction, reach out to us. Info at LOPA.org. At this point in the podcast, we are going to honor a hero.
Yeah, Laurie, the hero will be honored today as Robert Myers, also known as Bob Bishop from mornings with Kenny and Bob on WYNK at the news on Country Legends 107.3 for over two decades. Bob Bishop's melodic voice and infectious laughter brought us through our day one song at a time. His intelligence, wit and humor were surpassed only by his kindness and the size of his heart. Brilliant, well-read and gifted.
Bob was always eager to learn and help. Whatever you need, be it unraveling the complexities of World War II, rewiring your computer, making a masterpiece in the kitchen, or giving advice to soothe your soul. He could do it all and usually all at the same time. Every kind and patient, he helped everyone around him.
Personally professional, Bob gave you his 100% undivided attention until all problems were resolved. He was a loving son, brother and uncle, and a loyal friend. His family, friends and listeners will miss him dearly. For all those who knew and listened, Bob Bishop was the best friend Baton Rouge radio ever had.
And you can see his picture and read more about Bob Bishop at lopa.org. Click on our Heroes tab. You can also read and see other heroes there as well. Let's pause and say thank you to Bob for the gift of life.
Our question and answer segment, here's one guys. I do not have relatives in the state and I'm registered. I signed up to be an organ donor at the DMV. I would like to ensure the donation goes smoothly.
Could you please give me some information on what I should include in my will? Well, Laura, that's actually a couple questions within the question. First, the will. It's great to have as much information as you can in the will.
Obviously that would help. The problem is, the timetable for donation is very short. So you can't just easily search someone's will. It's not that easily attainable.
Now, you mentioned that that person is registered. So we could easily search the registry and find that person is registered and that's a legal document. Now, if you have no family within the state, we make a lot of phone calls. We talk to next again quite often on the phone.
And if they're not attainable on the phone, if you've got other friends or anyone who ever is responsible for you care at this point, we can have a conversation face to face at the hospital. So we would go through any of the routes. And of course, we do get a medical social history. So again, we would kind of seek out whoever the person that most knows you or best knows you to get that information because we want to make it easier.
We would like to get that information because we want to make sure the safety of the transplanted organs. Good. And thanks for communicating with us. We love that.
If you have a question, want us to tackle a topic here on the Gifted Life, email us at info at lopa.org. Or you can also give us a call. 5046483477. Another great episode of the Gifted Life in the Books, guys.
Yes, it was. We want to first thank Mr. Charles Henderson for coming on and honoring his hero, Duda Cologne. And of course, we're belting out that wonderful tune for us.
Yeah, singing on a congested note. Yes. Right. And thank you, Miss Tanya Smith for coming on.
It's nice to have a tissue recipient to tell us a little bit about her story and how it's been really interesting. And how it's been really interesting to talk about her story and how a tissue transplant has impacted her life. It's wonderful to see and hear how well they're doing and spreading donation awareness. Yeah, I love that they continue to call us.
Are there any events coming? Can I speak? Can I speak? Can I speak?
You know, I love all that. I love when they get involved. I mean, we want you to do the same. It's easy.
You could simply share information about this podcast. You could share something that you see as post on Facebook. It's that easy. We want you to go out today and do something that you don't normally do to help us make life happen.
Have a good one.