The Gospel According to Jeremiah: Chapter Two
from I Believe in Timothy Rivers Hosted by Jedidiah Hartley
I remember joking at the wedding reception that there was something deeply symbolic about all the groomsmen getting flasks and all the bridesmaids getting dream journals. "Well, see here." I said while doing my best impersonation of a pretentious academic. "I believe the subject has purchased the flask to serve as an identity token, a" I held the flask up and turned it in my hands "a phallic icon that is meant to glorify the masculine and rebuff subconscious fears of the metaphorical castration which comes with the union of marriage, a union that the subject fears will result in the loss of manhood, the loss of sexual independence, and worst of all the loss of late night beer pong with the boys." I remember there was a long pause and empty stares at our table, until Rose raised her glass. "To marriage and metaphorical castration." She proclaimed. "To metaphorical castration!" I echoed and took a drink.
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