The Grief of Watching a Parent's Memory Fade

Watching a parent lose their memory is a grief that starts long before anyone dies. Discover why that grief counts, and how numbering your days helps you love the parent who's here today.There's a grief that comes long before the funeral. It shows up when your father asks the same question three times in an hour, or when your mother calls you by your brother's name. The person who raised you is losing pieces of themselves right in front of you, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. You go through it mostly alone, because the world doesn't have a category for it. There's no casserole for the slow goodbye, no card that says "sorry your mother forgot your wedding." So you wonder whether you're even allowed to grieve someone who's still here.You are. This episode opens with a woman Bart talked with for his book on caregiving. She cared for her husband through Alzheimer's after his diagnosis in his early 60s, and she promised herself she'd keep him at home no matter what. But the disease kept taking more of him. One day she stood in the middle of a highway with him, cars coming, and hit the end of what she could do alone. Right there she prayed out loud for help.Scripture speaks straight to that place. Long before any of us faced a diagnosis, Moses prayed in Psalm 90:12, "So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Numbering your days means facing the truth that time with the people you love is short and precious, and letting that shape how you spend it. You may not have the father you had ten years ago. But you still have this version of him, and this version won't be here forever either. So love the one who's here now.That means speaking the words that need to be said while there's still someone to hear them. It also means bringing what you're grieving to God, who is not far from any of it. He is with your parent, the one losing their memory, holding them even in the confusion. And He is with you, the one keeping watch, seeing every day nobody else sees. You don't have to face the slow goodbye alone. Bart shares what these caregiver interviews have shown him about loving his own people while he has them, and the woman's own conclusion after years of caring for him: "The Lord, he will pull you through it."BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER:Why grieving a parent who's still alive is real grief, even without a funeralWhat Psalm 90:12 teaches about numbering your days and loving the parent in front of youA simple step for saying the words that need to be said before it's too lateYou may be grieving someone who's still here, and that grief counts. Number these days, love the parent who's in front of you today, and bring the rest to the God who never forgets a single name.Share This Episode:https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/311Need Prayer? Leave me a voicemail:https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/voicemailWant to keep these devotions coming? Please consider supporting this podcast.https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/support/Rate and Reviewhttps://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/reviews/new/Connect with BartFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusylivesWebsite: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.comFeeling spiritually drained? Start here. Download your free copy of my eBook Making Time for Jesus here: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/subscribe.