The HALLOWEEN HORROR SHOW with Joel Jimenez episode artwork

EPISODE · Oct 25, 2023 · 1H 16M

The HALLOWEEN HORROR SHOW with Joel Jimenez

from Jason Ellis 2.0 · host Jason Ellis

This episode has it all: old men, fire, poop, spicy peppers, weird guys, gags, fish eye balls, bugs...the list goes on, but you're missing out if you're just listening --> WATCH THIS EPISODE in living color on Youtube: https://youtu.be/Nm3N35IcJ0o Subscribe to our Patreon to call/text/write in LIVE https://www.patreon.com/EllisMate Call/Text (424) 350-1721 or email [email protected] CARNIVAL OF COMBAT -- NOVEMBER 4 -- ST. PETERSBURG, FLORIDA -- GET YOUR TICKETS NOW: https://carnivalofcombat.com/ You’ll be amazed how KUDO Popcorn has somehow made your favorite healthy snack even tastier and healthier. Get 25% off @KudoPopcorn with the code ELLIS at https://kudosnacks.com/discount/ELLIS #KUDOpartner BlueChew wants to help you have better sex! We’ve got a special deal for our listeners: Try BlueChew FREE when you use our promo code ELLIS at checkout--just pay $5 shipping. That’s https://www.BlueChew.com, promo code ELLIS to receive your first month FREE. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information, and we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. https://www.instagram.com/thejasonell... https://twitter.com/JasonEllisShow Jason Ellis: https://www.theJasonEllis.com https://instagram.com/wolfmate https://twitter.com/EllisMate Michael Tully: https://instagram.com/tullywood https://twitter.com/Tully Joel Jimenez https://instagram.com/mostlysorry Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode has it all: old men, fire, poop, spicy peppers, weird guys, gags, fish eye balls, bugs...the list goes on, but you're missing out if you're just listening --> WATCH THIS EPISODE in living color on Youtube: https://youtu.be/Nm3N35IcJ0o Subscribe to our Patreon to call/text/write in LIVE https://www.patreon.com/EllisMate Call/Text (424) 350-1721 or email [email protected] CARNIVAL OF COMBAT -- NOVEMBER 4 -- ST. PETERSBURG, FLORIDA -- GET YOUR TICKETS NOW: https://carnivalofcombat.com/ You’ll be amazed how KUDO Popcorn has somehow made your favorite healthy snack even tastier and healthier. Get 25% off @KudoPopcorn with the code ELLIS at https://kudosnacks.com/discount/ELLIS #KUDOpartner BlueChew wants to help you have better sex! We’ve got a special deal for our listeners: Try BlueChew FREE when you use our promo code ELLIS at checkout--just pay $5 shipping. That’s https://www.BlueChew.com, promo code ELLIS to receive your first month FREE. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information, and we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. https://www.instagram.com/thejasonell... https://twitter.com/JasonEllisShow Jason Ellis: https://www.theJasonEllis.com https://instagram.com/wolfmate https://twitter.com/EllisMate Michael Tully: https://instagram.com/tullywood https://twitter.com/Tully Joel Jimenez https://instagram.com/mostlysorry Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

NOW PLAYING

The HALLOWEEN HORROR SHOW with Joel Jimenez

0:00 1:16:15
of MATCHES

TRANSCRIPT · AUTO-GENERATED

Hey everybody, I got an event, Carnival of Combat. It's like, Alistair, but I've got like, dumb comedian celebrities fighting each other, but I also have the usual stuff where it's like, blindfolded people with electric dog collars on, and then I give the remote to like their wife, and then they get electrocuted while everybody punches them in the head. It's really funny. It's November 4th, and it's in Tampa.

And you can get tickets right now if you go to carnivalofcombat.com. And there's like all kinds of different team, VIP. Lewis J Gomez is trying to fight this dude, and if he beats that dude, then he's trying to fight me, which means I have to come out of retirement, and all these people are gonna be mad at me, but don't worry about it. Dude, he's not gonna touch my face, but I think he's gonna lose, and the only way you can see it is if you go to carnivalofcombat.com right now, I'll get tickets.

You're excited, right? Yes, I'm very excited. What do you want me to say about it? That was not that.

I'm very excited. I like your confidence, but I am concerned. See me potentially die. I thought your tag line was don't die.

It is. You just said see me potentially die. Jason, don't die. OK, watch me, don't die.

There you go. That's the best problem ever. Watch him not die. Come out.

Live. Please. In Tampa. Let's see.

Oh, breathe. Oh, hold on. Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, welcome to the Halloween show.

It promises to be our spookyest episode yet. We got a guest, and it's an old man. We managed to land an old creeping out with us for an hour. I'm young and hard.

All right. So welcome to the show. I believe inside there is Joll-Haminus. He's there.

It's me, Joll-Burg. The Great Joll-Burg. Welcome back to the show. This is really, I can't breathe.

No, we can probably take these off now. Okay. This is a great opportunity, though, to remind everybody who is listening to this. If you want to just keep listening to pods at your stage, you're on the treadmill.

That's great. You do you. But I know for a fact, we know for a fact there are many people who somehow, someway, do not know that the show is available on YouTube. You can watch, in addition to listening to it for free.

Same free price. And I guarantee you, the opening of this Halloween episode was a visual feast for the eyes. So this would be an excellent opportunity if you're listening right now and didn't know about the YouTube to hit stop on your on your pod, search streaming service. Go over to YouTube, type in Jason Ellishow and start this one.

Go to wolfmate.com to get the new Jason Ellish official mask. But that's good math. Yeah, pretatoos. That's a good idea.

Face mask. Yeah. This whole skateboard sale thing is stupid. I need masks.

What kind of like all different creepy people or should I sell a mask of like my head? You should sell a mask of your head. Right. But like, there's one creepy person.

Yeah. Yeah, that'd be fun for absolutely no reason. But if you don't recognize me, still a creepy mask. Yeah.

And if you want to fight someone on the street and not have them know you're true, I'd blame you and frame Jason. Right. That's a good idea. Yes.

It's perfect for your plan to become a secret that you're laying to. And I do even say that for several years. You have to call it a secret vigilante isn't a vigilante. So you got to be secret.

Yeah, but a vigil. Mm. I think like Debo was in Friday was open loud and proud vigilant. Yeah, but that's not smart.

No, it didn't end well for him. Right. There you go. So yeah, I would be a sniper.

Right. Oh, wow. Yeah, like I would come from nowhere, take you out and disappear before anyone knew anything. I do a lot of needle poking with poison.

Oh, I like that. Yeah. Needle. Very discreet.

I've been thinking about getting pepper spray as of late. Oh, I bought some. I bought like a 10 pack. I could write you some next time.

I don't know if this is like chauvinistic or something, but I feel like if you're a lady, you should pull it. Yeah. If you're being harassed by a man, you should be, you should pull your gun. Yeah, we should have free guns for all women.

I don't understand all these guys on the street doing stuff that's inappropriate to ladies. I'm hearing a lot of stuff on the streets. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm telling you guys guys guys, guys, seriously, stop doing that. I mean, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be a little bit more like a cop.

I'm going to be a little bit more like a cop. Seriously, stop doing that. I mean, I'm single desperate to try and find somebody and you're out here making me look bad, you know, if nobody, if they're not approaching you leave them alone. What is that?

The cat colors. Yeah, but then like if you, if they're not interested, then you take a fence and start arguing with them. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I'm here anyway. I didn't want to talk to you anyway. I'm hearing these stories from like I told some friend of mine who went through a lot of stuff. I told Brianna and Brianna goes, yeah, they're having to make it like it's everyone.

Every girl gets harassed in a way where I don't think we see it because I think whenever we're with a girl and somebody is going to do that, they usually stop when they see that there's a guy with them, but also the outbursts that they were going to have. It's just not the same when you're there. I think your size and overall scary demeanor probably does a lot because I've had guys do that when I'm there. I think they think they could take me, you know, and probably it's a hard one.

They could indeed. You got jets. That's probably true, but I'm not ready to try it out yet. It is fair.

That is the thing about you, Jitsu, I feel like is if you got to be pretty good to like actually make it work in a street fight because if you mess up, it's going to go real bad for you against somebody who doesn't even know it. I still do feel like because I never used to think I never used to think about two things until I met you getting attacked by a shark or getting into a street fight. I just went through my life on both legs. How about getting into a fight with a street shark?

And now that's all I've got about it. I used to go through life blissfully unaware of the fact that I knew those things could happen, but it was never like a clear and present danger, but you've put that in my head. And now it is actually my plan. If I can't run away from a fight to attempt to double leg.

And I just I'm like, all I got to really do is hope that he doesn't. I'm not avoid. I don't give myself that kind of credit. Hope he doesn't think to uppercut or knee.

Most likely he's going to wrap around your neck and probably choke you till you die. See, but I'm assuming that the guy who's going to try to fight me in the street does not have jujitsu and that he's like he's like him both slice. Yeah, like he'll kill me on his feet, but actually he has like he has never even considered the possibility. Well, I feel like a lot of people have reflexes that don't train to somewhat defend double legs.

Yeah, but if you're well trained in foot sweeps, that's what I would do. Because I feel like if you put a hand on me and I can touch your hands, you're going down for sure. Yeah, unless you're trained. See, that's why I want pepper spray.

You pepper spray them. Then you get pepper spray as well. Yeah, then you get pepper spray as well. That's like I feel like everybody that ever pepper spray somebody is also pepper spraying them.

It doesn't disperse. That stuff is buck. Well, what does buck mean? Let's go.

Buck is like good like dope is like gnarly. Oh, okay. Like gnarly. It's like, are you guys shortening buck wild?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, maybe. Oh, it's are you guys shortening buck wild?

I just don't want this generation to be under the mistaken impression that they thought of anything. No, I appreciate the mystery lesson, but yeah. The gel the gel pepper spray though, like I've seen videos like big gangster looking fools getting put down like it does not matter how tough you think you are, you're going down. It's like getting shot.

Damn. I would say that please use. Yeah, it's I would say that if a rapper got pepper spray nine times, they wouldn't have the same effect as someone getting shot nine times. Yeah, no, no, no, but I'm saying like just Cajun seasoning.

Yeah, I'm saying like stopping power off a rip. It's tough. Yeah. Like you get hit by that.

You're going down. Doesn't matter. What about if you spit gasoline on him in light of on fire? Nobody expects that.

I would say that is buck as well. Yeah, right. That is that's the luckiest thing you can do. Yeah.

Just trying to think about how you can do that. Like you got a little water bottle with you at all times. It has gasoline. It has gasoline in it.

Yeah. I'm just going to go out and go, man, I'm just going to drink and have a good time. And you take a swig and then you grab your lighter and go and spit fire on him and then put more on him while he's stuck in it and then light his jacket, like let him go out and be like, there you go. Because it'll be pretty occupied with not being on fire when that will give me time to get out of there.

Unless he really stops and rolls, then yeah, that still gives me time to get out of there. And if he stops and rolls, I'll take his back and choke him out. There you go. Have you done that before?

Oh, yeah. I've seen a lot of people. No, I mean the gasoline, the gasoline like spray out of your mouth. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And I had a guy do the flame throw thing and I was like, he can teach me how to do it. And he was like, yep.

And then I put the sheet of my mouth and fucking spat on the, I had the stick. He go, and I did a bunch of times. And then I still have the stick and the gas and I still from time to time have been known to breathe fire. It's not gasoline though, right?

Yeah, it is. It's like kerosene. Oh, yeah. Sorry.

Yeah. Is a, how does it not go to your lips? You got to, you got to, when you, when you spit it out, you got to make sure that you close your mouth as soon as you spit it out. Okay.

If you go and leave your mouth open, that could be bad. Yeah. If you go to fire or in a street fight and caught your face on fire, you would not be so bad names. I think those guys used to open for striper.

Yeah. Pretty sure. Yeah. So into that.

It's dangerous to walk around with a little like half a bottle full of gasoline. I know. Yeah. Like what about if you have any, what's the little flagging thing?

Flask. Yeah. Right. That's appropriate.

Things would have to go pretty wrong for that to actually blow up on your pocket. You'd have to like walk into fire or something, right? And it wouldn't be enough to do anything anyway. Maybe a California summer.

If it's a flask, it's not going to get in there. You'd have to literally be on fire for it to. It doesn't gasoline expand. Like, isn't it?

Can it be gaseous? You know what? Because I've set fire to Jerry Keiss and Ford. Yeah.

Yeah. I believe gas is a gas. Yeah. One time.

You motherfucker. Oh, so we're starting already. We're fucking starting. All right.

Five minutes. Oh, that was good. Yeah. It's a lot of weight.

If the gasoline flask in your pocket blows up, you probably are happy that it is because it's putting you out of your misery for whatever situation you're already in. I feel like I'm just saying if you had that on you, and you're not going to blow up on a hot summer's day or something. In case the street fight popped off. Yeah.

Dude, if you have a flask and you douse him, he does not know that that's gasoline. He thinks that you just threw whiskey on him. And then before he knows it, then, see, that's one thing. How do you light a guy?

Because I got to get a lot of gas on him. Yeah. Yeah. And I got to douse him, douse him, douse him.

Like I probably move around because he's probably coming at me. Keep douse him. And then when he gets close, instead of throwing a punch, a lighter, like it's got a light. All right.

Couple things. You got to spit fire. You got to spit fire. You got to ring that when it's like a ring lighter.

And like the thing that is the hit. So you hit him in the fire. Then he fucking. You see that movie, extraction two where that dude has a fight and he gets on his hands on fire and he beats up this guy while until he's by whipping his hand into the dude's face.

His arm goes out. No, I haven't seen an extraction to it. Extraction of photography and extraction one was. Extraction two is even better.

Okay, cool. Yeah. They said it couldn't be done. Yeah.

It's intense. Hey, Tully, your face looks really good today. Thank you for noticing. I did run my brand new Harry's razor over my face.

Shaving always makes me feel good, Michael. Why is that? Because I think I've got hair that comes out gray and it makes me feel like I'm going to die soon. And if I'm going to die, I can get off.

I can conceal the lie that it's all over. Right. You can not have to face your imminent mortality. Yeah.

Thanks to Harry's razors. Real talk, you've known me for the better part of 20 years. You've probably seen me shave about three times. You know why?

No, I irritated you. I hated shading until this very morning when I look at this. You actually did. I did.

I was. I was waiting for that. Wait, check it out. You look at this bad boy.

No, I can get a handlebar. Dude, you look. This is a good look for you. Crazy.

Thank you, Harry's. It's not just us who love Harry's. And you out there got nothing to lose because they offer a no risk trial. Get your best shave ever this summer.

You got your razor, you got your lotion, you got your exfoliating cream. What don't they have for your face? Get your best shave with Harry's razors and skincare products. Yeah.

$13 start asset for just $3 at Harry's dot com slash Ellis. That's harry's dot com slash Ellis for a $3. That is it. The most bad ass.

I thought it's on mythbusters. It won't work. But like in the movies where you smoke a cigarette and you flick it yeah. Yeah.

That would be badass. You do that and then you go flick the fucking cigarette. And you know it that's just going to bounce off him and it's not going to catch. So you're just gonna get your ass kicked by a guy who says of gas Even if you doused him in tons of gas, and after like got he should saturated in the front at least Yeah, if I breathe fire onto his chest, it still might not light up.

Yeah, yeah Like you really need some time for him to stop moving and you know what that time that's time for a catchphrase What do you say you go you go all right you fucking? I don't know. I always you some sort of catchphrase. Wow.

That was a bono. Well, I was gonna say like hey How does it feel to get fucking you should definitely cuss it? Oh, I forgot we can't do that on this seems like You know you just got roasted Oh Chestnuts roasting on an open for this Show a guy with gas at Christmas. Show him out.

Yeah, and when he's out doused him in gasoline Then set him on fire. Yeah, I'm like what it and then when he wakes up play the fire starter on your phone. Yeah, today's Thanksgiving And you're the turkey. Yeah, that's yeah.

Yeah. Come on baby. Lot your firm. Yeah, that's it.

Come on, baby. Like my fire Yeah, that'll it that fool's last thoughts are gonna be did he just call me baby Are your name is your name gin Morrison just live They call me the prodigy why cuz I'm a fire star what about if you say I'm fine then hold him like a guitar and pretend to be Jimmy Henry that's yeah, the one thing too is there's a humiliation factor because you're gonna fire well cuz they're gonna be spraying stuff on you And you're gonna be running at them thinking it's like any liquid besides gasoline because it was in their body You got the element of the problem gasoline I know the smell of gasoline you are not thinking that Whatever you're thinking it's anything but gasoline that's coming out of the water bottle You know what's unfortunate about this you really kind of need like a bucket of gasoline With like a gallon in it and like and the and the like if you had the little trigger thick Well, you pulled a little spray gun out a bag. Oh, and that's not enough of trying to think how much water you have this Jason Has a fucking flamethrower. Why don't we stop with the box?

If you can't get into the club with a flamethrower Well, I'm at the supermarket my mom business with a flamethrower someone right so I get into the club with a bottle of water either We don't allow that at the comedy store. We make you throw that Oh, yeah, can you get into the club with a can of for breezin a lighter? No, no way That's a dead giveaway. Where's everyone just a breezus gas?

Yeah, I was gonna say if you have another lighter like a zippo but instead of butane there's gasoline in there Yeah, if you make it said it said it said it's a fire hey, so make it device That's a cigarette pack. Yeah, but it's not cigarettes and you press a button and it squirts gasoline a lot of gasoline out And there's a fire as well, so you like you go And then it shoots out fire onto the doused opponent and then the newspaper reads we knew Jason Ellis was flaming But this is ridiculous. What about this? What about this?

Get a bottle of vodka and smash it on the ground on his feet and light him on fire. I like that You can always improvise a Molotov cocktail at the bar. Yes. If you're throwing Molotov cocktails in the club, you're sick You're a buck for sure.

You will always be known as that buck dude. Yeah, let's get to remember and I'm glad we figured this out Did we basically were fucked if we if this ever happens except for Jason? Oh Joel Jimenez very funny guy ladies and gentlemen you can see him at the comedy store. Yeah, he's at the Comedy Store a lot He's one of those guys.

Yeah, I had a lining chatter box on and Covina this Sunday the 22nd. Yeah Co-headlining Huntington Beach rec room with the ship l. A. C.

Yeah, dude. How's your podcast going? It's going great It's been really fun. I like your one with Steve.

Yeah, yeah, it was I love CB. Yeah, me too Yeah, I really enjoyed that. Yeah having guests has really popped has given us a bit of a pop and people search for those people now They find us right so it's good. We'll have you on soon.

Yeah, I'm an excellent guest. Yeah, we'll have totally on first Makes less known characters. Yes, let's chop it up. Yeah, I've always wanted to sport a scam fire.

I don't believe you have right I All the importance up okay, so I can say the other now that I brought it up. I really want to do it Yeah, that seems I believe that attainable. I that's why I'm saying I think I could do it. Yeah, we could do it in your pool That's a short water ski, but yep, yeah Just got a good loop around you gotta have somebody tow you real fast So you hold the rope the other person the other end of the pool and there's like a winching thing or something that goes real fast And I just gotta be too skis because you won't get up on one two skis get towed I've gotta be on fire right before I get towed so I'm sitting on the side of the pool water skis on everyone's ready to pull the rope And then they light me up and I'm on fire then I go go and they pull the rope and then did it there I go I bet you I'm gonna bet you that that has been done I bet you miles if you were to search for guy what I'm saying on fire I'd rather jump over fire on like a wakeboard or something.

I wrote it be a mix through a firewall Really? Yeah, that's cool. The tires didn't I guess you go fast enough, right? Yep, nice fire Like you get like one second for free, right like you like it only brings you on the second second.

Oh man here we go Right, that's pretty much the deal. Oh, no Oh, he's going for it. This is heck that sweater. That's not a good idea.

Oh my god. Oh my god He's gotta be he's gotta be he's gotta jump off soon. He's done. Dude.

It's gotta be halfway to his lungs by now That's on the back he can see it's in his bottle for sure. I have a uh damn it. That's way better That's not he went for it. There he goes.

He's still going for it I have a bucket of that gel stuff that they put on you to not burn A safer Ontario means more police and prosecutors making sure my car doesn't get stolen It means building new jails to keep criminals behind bars And it means there's no need to wear me when I play at the park We're making every corner of Ontario safer to make all of Ontario safer That's how we protect Ontario for all of us Learn how at ontario.ca slash safer Ontario pay for by the government of Ontario In like in movies and stuff somewhere in my garage How did you get that? So I was I was I was a intern on the show Nathan for you on car Oh, sure. In the art department and uh at the end of the season They were just getting rid of all this stuff and they had they like who wants this and I said me Yeah, if you had any time you get an opportunity to keep the it was wild because they put it on his on his crotch And uh did a flame like a like a flame thrower thing on his crotch and it didn't burn him Yeah, wow, I watched every episode of that. I don't remember the time they tried to burn It was when he did the chili suit episode.

Do you remember that he made a chili suit to sneak chili into hockey games and sell it? I've always wanted to water ski in chili Did you yeah, I always yeah, I've always thought about it. Wow He says this one day I'll do it. I believe in you.

It's gonna be a small area obviously because there's a lot of chili I want to get a bowling ball full of chili. Oh, okay. We call it chili a bowl of chili Oh, and then what would you do with it? Just hold it you just bowl mean game What I know because you know how bowling bowls that women that one maybe where the guy had the rose in a sta Yeah, it was bill mary right is there a is there a goldfish in a bowl in a bowl?

I'm sure Is that life or long is that mean here? That's when you roll the bowl. There's the fish do all the spins or does the water stay still the water stay still No, no, no, no, he's fine I'm gonna say that you could roll that ball at about About 300 feet per hour like not even a mile per hour and the water will just do that Yeah, and the goldfish will be blissfully unaware of the fact that his world is in motion Yeah, any faster than that that fish is going tail over face I want to have any tumbles he can take before he dies because you at least get one bowl. Yeah, yeah You get one oh man, that's probably out there too if you look above.

I'm saying it's not I like this game ball with fish inside the google this they have to actually be bowling now. Oh with live fish inside Yeah, yeah, who wants a bowling ball? So my take your take your mask off. We all did it already Oh guys.

I saw that on the way to work in that crazy. What is that my ex-wife? What the hell are those for? Those for Jason's new truck those giant those giant chapters that they're adding the big dirt where they shovel stuff They got some Australian stuff right there, but you know, I'm from big dirt They work in the big dirt mine right next up there go deep deep into the dirt make all these cool dirt shapes and stuff They also explode dirt and then there's a lot of money and then a giant truck goes in and gets all the exploded dirt And delivers it somewhere else.

Hey, right after you fight this guy and he's been on fire on the ground Yes, you piss on him to put it out You're going to jail for the piss or the fire which you're saving his life. I think that keeps you from going to jail Yeah, I think that gets you out of jail right you got this goldfish ball. You don't have a very specific jury No, it's all just it's all just like drawings. Yeah, man.

It hasn't been done. No, it's gonna be so wait So there's people buying bowling balls with goldfish What about this like sharks and you know what about this what about a bowling ball full of flies? There's nobody cares about flies anyway, no no no no no no, it's roaches Yeah, also your bowl hisses. Yeah, he'd hear it through the balls.

Yeah, I think so. I think you have tiny little holes every next level What about two animals we don't like each other beta fish and they fight in the ball while you're ball To the death hell yeah, well you pick up a seven-ton split yeah, you're the most intimidating bowler who ever lived instantly. What about a Lot of mice and a cat I think PETA is gonna have some issues with all of this. Are you on the hunt for a new gluten-free snack?

I'm on the mark hunt. Meat Kudo, your fidget protein popcorn of the UFC. That's right, UFC popcorn packed with protein. The kids haven't been bringing it for a snack all week.

My daughter can dunk now. Dude, wait, this is crazy. For a limited time, Alice gets 25% off the entire order with the code, Alice, kudosnax.com. That's right, Kudo with, okay, here's a fun fact about most cheese flavored pop corns.

They're disgusting. This is garlic parmesan. They taste like whale vomit. This is just a perfect touch of cheesy flavor, not too salty, obviously gluten-free, because we're talking about corn here.

And it's packed with protein. Popcorn's great snack, but it's totally empty calories. Not when you have the protein-packed power of Kudo. You know what's crazy is some people like whale vomit.

You get big money for whale vomit. Fishy to see what eat it. Right, exactly. I'm not a fishy and I see.

I'm a man. I like popcorn. Wow, okay, I'm intimidated for sure. Kudo popcorn is gluten-free, preservative-free, 100% whole grain, Kudo friendly, only has 70 calories per cup, and it's made right here in the USA.

Why am I sounding extreme when I say that? Right here in the USA. You'll be amazed at how Kudo popcorn is somehow major. Favorite healthy snack, even tastier, and even healthier for a limited time.

You get an exclusive 25% off discount. When you use code, LIS at Kudo with a K snacks. Kudo snacks.com. Come on, people, this is the Jason L Show.

25% off with code LIS at kudosnax.com. Save some money, support the official protein popcorn of the UFC and get it popped. Have you seen the NBA got a new basketball and it sucks? No, got no air in it.

Really? So stupid, so see through and stuff. What? I want to an NBA game last night.

Since they had the ball, everybody's score stuff has gone down. Wow, it's like making people bad players and some of the pros are bummed at it. You remember there was that with the Jabulani, that soccer ball back, I think in 2010, they had Adidas made a new ball and that was given people issues, something about the curve. Yeah, see the see through ball.

That is, no. Because the great thing about it is that's why they did it. Because you can't put air in it, which means nobody can cheat. That's why they did it.

Damn. Because some people have been known to let the ball down. Yeah, that's like Tom Brady. He's built the no good cheat.

Everybody knows that. Right. The hurties, skin care products suck. Yeah.

Yeah, I heard Lance Armstrong was filling his balls with air and that's why he was waiting on it. Did he get a replacement ball or is he just one gun in it? Yeah, I think he's got a uniball. Right.

Do you know who Phil Mickelson is? You watch your mouth. You know who Phil Mickelson is? Sure.

Legendary golfer Phil Mickelson. He just started a company that copied the fallen logo. Fallen footwear? Yeah.

I think so. Well, I remember there was that there was a shoe brand called like famous footwear, like family, something that was also two F's. Anyway, is Jamie Thomas coming for this guy? Is that who I thought?

I hope so. Oh, wow. Oh, same. What's the company called?

Oh, no, stupid. Oh, oh, they are getting sued. I think live golf team. Live golf team?

Where's that in the logo? They are getting, it's nowhere. It's just the fallen logo, which is hilarious. One time I started a skateboard company named after my dog, Grimey.

Yeah. Grimey skateboards. And then I was at a trade show. And this dude came up to me like super gangbanging, looking guy.

And he goes, hey, man, I got something for you and gives me a letter. And it's a cease and assist because he had a skateboard company called Brime Syndicate. And so he gave me a cease and assist. But I made that company knowing that I don't know I'm just going to buy anything.

It was a joke. But when he gave it to me, I was like, what the hell? And then I didn't really think about it. I mean, care, I just like, yeah, I think I changed it to L.L.S.

mate skateboards after that. But I found out that apparently he got shot in a house. Somebody came in the house and shot him. And he got a bunch of money from being shot.

Because he got permanently injured him or something. Wrong Felicia. And he got money for it. And that's how he started the company.

But he was trying to make a real company. And I wasn't. So I wasn't even. That is a funny thing to have the means to create a joke company.

I just thought it was funny how he went to the point of a cease and assist when I was like, I don't think we're chopping into your stuff. I think we're stealing customers. People were like, Grimey skateboards. I mean, I don't know.

They're supposed to similar. That also means they were talking about it for a long time. Which is hilarious. These guys are trying to step on our toes.

Like, what are we going to do? Like, I've got money from being shot. Like, these guys is hilarious. One guy that thought about it for 20 minutes.

Yeah. This guy walked around with a bottle of gasoline. They'll be careful. You already got shot that one.

You made shots bad. Don't get lit on fire. So Miles, you compiled some things for us to review, right? Oh, yeah.

Oh, right. In honor of Joel coming by here. Yeah, there's some people that I find interesting. I think you would also find interesting.

Shake my friends tonight. Why is there WD-40? All right. So this guy's got a pepper chili oil, chili flakes.

I would not want to date him. And WD-40. He's divorced for sure. Worst lube ever.

Terrible bottle. He might have never had sex. Oh, no. He's already read.

You mentioned if he's someone's dad. I was going to say that. Another guy in summer. Please drink all of WD-40.

Yeah. And say you're so fine. This is a job, right? This guy like that's his job.

He's like the chili pepper eating guy. I don't know why I like this. It's so bad. That's my real world.

Him talking with his mouthful. He's got something. Yeah. No, no, no.

He can't even open his right eye. Chill out. No. No.

Now I know what this guy looks like when he comes. Oh, no. He comes fire. He just swallowed.

All right. What do you think about that guy? I think that it's lonely for sure. I think he should try drugs.

Yeah. He might have tried. I don't know. It seems like he's trying to be a good guy.

He looks like an alcoholic. Yeah, maybe. He's face is bright red. Yeah.

He might have been intoxicated. Yeah. It might be secret that the chili's are burning him. He's so wasted.

He doesn't know. He's like his children texting. He's to one another coming. Did you see one of them?

We're on father did now. Dad's going off. Then you got to deal with dad taking burning poobies in the house screaming that. He's going to squish.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys think that his semen is spicy?

Yes. It's got to be right. Yeah. Yeah.

Because if you eat pineapple, it's but taste. Yeah. It hurts when he buzzed. A little bit.

Probably a little bit. Probably warmer low than usual. Yeah. Okay.

So we have this fire gun that little smoke comes out. So we have this guy. He's just going to throw it on whoever we're fighting. Wow.

Yeah. He's just joking about. Okay. They won't even realize.

They'll just think that he's just joking off on them. Little do they know that he's joking off with hot lava. I throw the gas on him and this guy runs in and comes and then you come in with a magnifying glass, hold it under the sun. Oh.

Well, I thought that he's the weapon. You just hang around with this guy. Yeah. Someone tries to fight you.

Come on him. Oh, you do it. Yeah. I just wanted to do this sideways.

All right. This video. That's definitely going to slow down the fire. Like if you pick on me and I start joking off my buddy.

Are you going to hit me? You know what I mean? Are you going to go wait a minute? You might get out of this.

If your buddy's going, oh. Yeah. They might be gone before he even shoots the fire. You know what?

You just win this fight. Yeah. I'm taking a lot of this. Seriously.

What kind of a man punches a man, joking off a man? Yeah. My undefeated street fighting record is not worth this. Right.

I mean, you're not a coward by walking away. It's your alley. I think that's one. I think it does make you a coward for walking away.

I feel like if you punch him, you're kind of gay for a second. If you punch a man who's jerking a man off your gay. You are right. You know, usually if you're undefeated on the streets, you don't want that on your record.

No, no, no, no. Take the L. So how do you think this lady would play into this battle? I'm still thinking about jerking off guys to save myself from fights.

Telly, would you be? Oh my God. What is this at the market? I love how she took a knee.

I saw security camps, gun wild. She really needed a poopy. Yeah. She really needed to go.

And obviously you can tell that she really needed it because it shot out a lot shot out, which means she was bursting. And I think, you know, shorts, you can pull the shorts to the side. She might have had a clean squirt and off to the races. You know, there's no way.

You think there's a little? I've never taken a clean poop or I did it. Give me a man. He got like hair and you bought ladies.

Besides that, there's no way it all cleared the short leg. You think? I think some is in that short. Dude, there's no way that wasn't messy.

That was oval team. This woman is the worst at hiding. There was no corner. You just buy the meat section.

Man. One more time though. Make it big. Oh, yeah.

I see it leaking on the shorts. Yeah, you're right. All right. Why didn't she do it in the bag?

What was it so important about what was in that bag? Well, maybe it was a groceries. So what? Oh, yeah.

You can't spare like a couple of chicken breasts? We can't go to the check out with a bag full of poopy. No, you're not going to try to still buy the chicken breasts. Are you saying you're ditching it and getting out of here?

Yeah, you have a bag. Yeah. Okay. Like this has never happened to me.

This probably could have emptied the bag. Even if clearly what happened is she thought she had more time than she did. Okay. Right?

Somehow this completely took her by surprise. Whatever is in the bag. I don't care if it's like your grandmother's ashes. You know what grandma had a good run.

Sorry. You can't. Grandma would do the same thing if the roles were first. You know what I'm sorry.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying. I'm going to talk about it in convenience when you need to poop and you've got a bag full of your grandma's ashes. Don't you hate it when that happens?

Dang, that's a challenging thing. I also would like to think that that check out bag is from the store that she's in and she finished checking out and was like, oh. Back into the store. Yeah.

Do you think she got away with it and the camera revealed later? What do you get charged? Do you get charged? Yeah, it's assault.

No, I'd like to think that if I, if and when I ever drop into some of my local pavilions that the store manager on duty will show some mercy. Yeah, but what if I do it twice? She's on the camera and she got away with it without telling people she did poopy. They compress charges.

What are the charges? Because there is a, is it indecent exposure? If you really want to throw the book at her indecent exposure, I want to get poop on the book. Destruction or defense?

Yeah, that's right. Private property. Right. If I got on anybody assault.

She should do is I get the charge or have the guy that runs that supermarket taking poopy on her chest. She's right. Punishment fitting the crime. That's what they would have done in medieval times.

I wouldn't have excelled in medieval times. I believe that's Islamic law. Yeah. No comment.

She violated the GV. I have a convention. He's a guy. I think he's a guy you would like on your team in this fight.

The Pod and the Pendulum Mike Snoonian The Pod and The Pendulum is a new horror movie podcast covering every movie in every franchise. From heavy hitters like Friday the 13th, to the direct-to-video titles like Subspecies, we’ve got you covered. We feature guests on every show in order to discuss their love of movies like The Blair Witch Project, Scream, Alien, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Jaws, Halloween, The Conjuring, and many more. Support the show and become a patron today at www.patreon.com/podandthependulum and get access to exclusive bonus content. Tweet us at @podandpendulumEmail us at [email protected] a patron and receive bonus shows for as little as $2 a month at https://www.patreon.com/podandthependulum Explicit TCAST: The Future of Data & AI TARTLE The Data Intelligence Podcast (TCAST) explores the intersection of AI, data privacy, and ethical technology. Join Alexander McCaig and Jason Rigby as they decode the future of data ownership, artificial intelligence, and digital privacy with industry leaders, researchers, and innovators.Each episode delivers actionable insights on:AI and machine learning developmentsData privacy and ownership strategiesEthical technology implementationReal-world applications of data intelligenceFuture trends in digital identity and data marketplacesPerfect for tech leaders, data scientists, privacy advocates, and forward-thinking professionals looking to understand and shape the future of data and AI.Presented by TARTLE, pioneers in ethical data exchange and AI enhancement. New episodes every week.The show is hosted by Co-Founder and Source Data Pioneer Alexander McCaig and Head of Conscious Marketing Jason Rigby.What's your data worth? Find out at (https://tartle.co/)Watch the podcast on Yo Explicit Cult of Us DropTent Media Network Welcome to the Cult! 2 comedians, Adam Nutter & Neil Wood, try to amass a cult following anyway possible. Making fun of each other, reacting to wild videos, playing dangerous/funny games and having on great guests is just some of what we do here. Come and join the Cult. This is NOT a request...Cult Of Us:https://linktr.ee/cultofusAdam Nutter:https://linktr.ee/AdamNutterNeil Wood:https://linktr.ee/neilwood Explicit Nerd on the Street Kaori Akari and Jason Rayn Welcome to our block! Kaori and Jason Rayn have been running Nerd on the Street for 4 years and have no intentions of backing down. Join us for all the nerd talk. We have anime, comic books, Disney, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter! You name it, we got it. Follow our IG: Nerdonthestreet4life our personal IGs: witchblade22 and jasonrayn423. Subscribe to the YT channel Nerd on the Street and follow us on Tik Tok! Jasonrayn and KaoriAkari. Let's have a good time! Explicit

Frequently Asked Questions

How long is this episode of Jason Ellis 2.0?

This episode is 1 hour and 16 minutes long.

When was this Jason Ellis 2.0 episode published?

This episode was published on October 25, 2023.

What is this episode about?

This episode has it all: old men, fire, poop, spicy peppers, weird guys, gags, fish eye balls, bugs...the list goes on, but you're missing out if you're just listening --> WATCH THIS EPISODE in living color on Youtube:...

Is there a transcript available for this episode?

Yes, a full transcript is available for this episode. You can read the complete transcript on the episode page.

Can I download this Jason Ellis 2.0 episode?

Yes, you can download this episode by clicking the download button on the episode player, or subscribe to the podcast in your preferred podcast app for automatic downloads.
URL copied to clipboard!