This is amazing media production. Hello, most awesome one. I'm a young angel, and you're listening to the Quit Playing Small Podcast. You're space-by-inspired thinking, encouragement, and goodness.
Today, we're going to be talking about the happiness challenge. So the seven-day happiness challenge, that is an article that I came across in the New York Times by Jancy Dunn. I may be butchering Jancy's name, I hope I'm not, but that's what it looks like, it sounds like to me. So anyway, I came across this article in my inbox, and I thought, why not?
Give it a read. The sub headline said, try these simple steps for a joyful, more connected 2023. Well, who doesn't want to have a more joyful and connected 2023? More joy, bring it on, more connectedness, I'm here for it.
So I thought, sign me up, let's read it. I started to skim the article, and I quickly bumped into the idea that a crucial element of living a good life, and you hear people talk about a rich life, a good life, a purposeful life, all these things about a life, right? But sometimes it's just simply, you just want to live a good life. And the article said very clearly that your relationships are a key element to living a good life.
And I thought, wow, so simple, why I had not thought of that before? And maybe you had thought of that before, or maybe now that I'm mentioning it, it feels like, yeah, I've had that feeling before that my relationships are what nourish me, what feed me, what carry me on from day to day, year to year. So maybe you've already experienced this, but for me, it was a high moment. But it said that not just any old relationship, right?
It's also what you do with said relationships, how much time you spend being intentional with these relationships, how much you nurture the relationships, how you prioritize the people, obviously, that you're in the relationships with, and also how you get creative with these relationships. I thought it goes without saying, but I'm going to go ahead and say it, relationships, meaning platonic, meaning all sides of relationships, not just romantic relationships, all the relationships. They could be your colleagues, they could be your friends, they could be new friends, they could be old friends, they could be acquaintances, just relationships. So I quickly wanted to share what I was drawn to from this article, because as I was reading it, I was thinking, my people need to know about this.
If relationships pour into us the way that they're saying, and I believe that they do, then we need these relationships and the people that help us to cultivate these relationships to be stronger in our day to day and to help us, obviously, quit playing small, right? So I'll quickly share what I was drawn to from the article, the secret power of the eight minute phone call. That is the first thing that stood out to me. So this was a seven day challenge, and I'm going to include a link to the article in the show notes that you can read the full article if you want, and maybe even do the full seven day challenge if you want.
So because it was a seven day challenge, one of the challenges was a eight minute phone call. The secret power of eight minute phone call is what the heading was for that particular section. And when I read it, it was talking about how two friends were able to schedule time that they hadn't been able to do previously, because everybody's life is just so hectic, they were able to schedule time to hop on a phone call with each other and connect for just eight minutes. And they made it a point to be straight to those eight minutes.
And when you read the article, you'll see that they were able to cover a lot of ground, catching up, making plans, talking about current events, a little gossip even, all in eight minutes. And one of the participants even said like, I was just surprised at how much ground we were able to cover in that eight minute phone call. And what it made me think was that sometimes we drag our feet or hesitate to plan a catch up call with someone because of the time that we think it's going to suck from our day. Yes, we enjoy catching up with our peeps.
We like a good key key, but sometimes number one, we all have that friend that talks way too long and way too much, and just goes in way too much detail, you know it, right? And so you want to speak to that person, but you know that you have to carve out so extra time to speak to that person because it may go a little long. And then you have the friend that their schedule is so hectic that you guys never make the time or you never push to make the time because you always feel like you're imposing on them by even bringing it up because they're just that busy. So whatever the reason is, there can be a ton of different reasons as to why we don't make the time to catch up with our people.
But this eight minute phone call felt like because it had parameters, it was so possible. And so maybe that's something you want to try with your people. It may sound silly or I'd rather raise them to them when you first mention it. But if you just give them a quick explanation as to why, I think they'll understand.
The next thing that stood out to me was writing a living eulogy. Ooh, it's probably not what you think though. It's really showing your heart or expressing how you truly feel to a person that you're close to in your life as letting them know how they may be impacted you and what they mean to you, thanking them as if maybe you'll never speak to them again. Having that in the back of your mind can probably cause you to go some deep places with your emotions and be expressive in a way that you've potentially never been expressive with this person before.
Sometimes we take for granted that the people closest to us in our lives, they know how we really feel about them. But do they? Do they really know? Let's not assume anymore or think that our actions speak for the words that we haven't used.
Let's tell them, tell your loved ones how you feel. And you can do it via a handwritten letter, an email, a text, a phone call even, but just do it in a way that feels approachable for you and for them. Use a medium that you know they'll be able to connect with. If they're not an email person, you'll be able to do it via email.
It'll be like you never wrote it. But what this made me think was there are some people in my life who, I assume they know how I feel. But when I'm really thinking about this challenge, writing a living eulogy, it's like they probably don't know my innermost thoughts or feelings about them. Just think about a time where maybe someone expressed to you or shared with you, something that you did that maybe you don't even remember doing because it was potentially minor to you, but it made all the difference to them.
It stood out to them, they're never going to forget it. Those are the types of things that I think would be great to share with someone that you love and maybe you've never shared before. So that they just truly hear your heart, so they truly understand how much they mean to you. Now, finally, this article was long because, well, actually, let me not exaggerate.
It wasn't that long. It was broken up nicely, but I'm not, like I said, going to go through all of it. But finally, they listed three ways to keep your happiness going all year, and I'm going to share these three with you, loved them. One of them was set specific relationship goals for your year.
Make a plan to do more, like maybe catch up dinners, set a plan for a coffee date, and maybe you can add a number to them, like every month. So for the year, I'm going to do 12, catch up coffees with someone that I haven't connected with in a while. Maybe I want to, once a month, do five outreaches, do people I haven't connected with in a while. Maybe be a text, be a email, be a phone, whatever it is.
Just set some specific relationship goals for your year. The next one was commit to consistency. Like this one, consistency is a word for me that I noted for myself that I want to lean into more. So I really did enjoy that they included this one.
So it could be something like, every Sunday morning, I'm going to reach out to my people. Just do a quick check-in, especially people that I haven't checked in with in a while. Every month, I'm going to go on a walk, and I'm going to call somebody that I haven't called in a while. Just creating routines for yourself, not necessarily a routine with the other person, but a routine for yourself so that you can help to maintain the healthy relationships.
And then finally, they shared that ritual. See, so rituals, in other words, creating routines with your family members. I was thinking like, okay, this means I don't wait for holidays to start new traditions with your family. Those traditions that could potentially evoke good feelings and create deeper connections and bonds amongst you all.
And it made me think of how, when I would come home for the holidays, because I didn't come home or get the opportunity to come home that often throughout the year, when I would come home, I would create opportunities to spend time with my larger family, right? Like whether it be us going to a holiday exhibition of some sort or activity of some sort, doing something that made the family come together and have fun together. And so this is exactly what that made me think of, but we don't have to wait for the holidays. You can create a movie night with your family.
You can create a trivia night. Something I mentioned in the article which I thought was cute was like picking something amongst the group of the family who ever wants to participate, picking something that somebody has to do, but they don't really want to do it, especially if they don't want to do it alone, maybe around their house, and then inviting everybody over to help participate in executing that task. And then the payment or the thank you is cooking dinner for the group, or ordering dinner for the group if you're not really because. I thought that was super cute and a way for you to be productive, but also to spend time and connect.
So I loved all of the advice tips, information that was in this article, because it really just shows you that relationships are valuable for so many reasons, and it helped me to see how they are invaluable also to our survival, really, as humans. I'm sure you've heard it said before that humans, we need connection, and when we don't have connection, sometimes it brings out the worst in us. Even things like touch, humans need touch, and I relate that similarly to connection. And so as humans, we need our relationships.
We need each other, and let's not forget. Thank you so much for spending time with me today. I hope that you go out there and lean more into your relationships, feel good about the relationships you have, nurture them, and grow the relationships that you wish to see become a little bit better. Thank you, thank you, thank you, sending you big virtual hugs and love, and as always, be well.
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