The Healing Power of Forgiveness with Special Guest, Jackie Bonilla, the Author of "The Forgotten Rose"

Forgiveness is something that must be given and received by all human beings. We all make mistakes and need forgiveness. We all experience pain caused by others and we need to forgive them. Forgiveness is a spiritual endeavor that involves releasing negative thoughts and feelings associated with an offense. While it is usually not instant and automatic, forgiveness is a critical process for healing our thoughts and heart. It takes time and intentional effort. Therefore, we must choose to work through potentially dangerous emotions like anger, resentment, and revenge. These natural, human feelings are harmful if we don't work through them.  When negative emotions dominate our lives, we lose peace, joy, love, and productivity.  Furthermore, we become blind to the good that remains after loss and suffering.  Most people cannot forgive without faith in God. Letting Him be our personal judge and jury, removes the overwhelming burden of having to defend ourselves or fight for justice. Yes, we should make an effort to correct wrongs by lobbying for better laws, rights, behaviors, etc., but if this strips us of our strength, energy and time, it is best to resolve to let go and let God work spiritually on our behalf. This is hard because on the surface it seems passive and weak, but it takes more strength to walk away.  Forgiveness also involves trying to understand others. It helps us discover rich spiritual treasures hidden beneath our trouble. It helps us to find lessons about ourselves. Because God is not a gangster, He doesn't not force people to do His will. Because He does not always intervene in our issues does not mean that He is less loving. He cares and He loves us unconditionally. He will transform the bad that someone (not Him) did to us into good if we will allow Him. He will open our eyes to see the light in darkness and the purpose of pain. When we forgive, we lose absolutely nothing. We must surrender to God and try it. We will see that it is good and that it will save us from total despair.  Lastly, forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It doesn't mean that we are obligated to have relationships with people who maliciously hurt us. In fact, we are wired with the power to remember to protect ourselves and our beloved. Only disease and death can destroy memories, but when we rightly use them, we can choose wisely and do better. As Lewis Smedes (1921 - 2002) once said, “Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.” I pray that you resolve to free yourself from the self-imposed prison of unforgiveness today and always.  With Love,  C. Chérie Hardy