The Hidden Cost of Raising “Good Girls”

We tell girls to be polite. Respect authority. Make people proud. Don’t be difficult. Don’t overreact. Be nice. Then we act surprised when they grow into women who second-guess themselves, tolerate what they shouldn’t, silence their instincts, and confuse compliance with character. In this episode of What the Shift, Gia sits down with healthcare executive, mentor, and Root to Rising podcast host Christine Hummel for a raw conversation about the hidden cost of raising “good girls.” They unpack the subtle messages girls absorb about beauty, success, authority, ambition, and who they are allowed to become. They explore why well-intended parenting can still produce perfectionism, people-pleasing, overachievement, and self-abandonment—and what it looks like to raise girls who can think critically, trust themselves, question outdated rules, and define success on their own terms. In this episode: Why "respect your elders" quietly taught girls to abandon themselves in the room The real test for whether authority deserves your respect — and why most of us never learned to ask it What it costs a woman to stay polite when every instinct says leave Why friend groups, not families, are becoming the real support system for the next generation — and what that says about ours How well-intended comments ("you're so pretty," "you'll be a great mom") shape a girl's definition of success before she's old enough to choose her own The parenting shift that actually works: not telling kids what to think, but giving them room to think at all Why this matters: If you've ever bitten your tongue in a meeting, a marriage, or a moment that called for a boundary — this is the conversation that explains why, and what it's costing you now.  About Christine Hummel: Christine is a healthcare executive with more than two decades of leadership across pharma, pharmacy, and payer systems, and the creator and host of Root to Rising, a podcast for the next generation of women. Find her show on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube.