The Hidden Trauma of Suicide Secrecy: Grieving in Reverse and Finding Truth episode artwork

EPISODE · Jul 30, 2025 · 30 MIN

The Hidden Trauma of Suicide Secrecy: Grieving in Reverse and Finding Truth

from The Survivors Podcast · host Gretchen Schoser and Lisa Sugarman

What happens when the truth about a loved one’s suicide is revealed decades later? In this profoundly moving episode, Lisa opens up about her own story of “grieving in reverse” after learning that her father's death wasn’t what she had believed for 35 years.   🎥 Watch the Video Podcast on YouTube: A video version of this episode is available here: 👉 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSurvivorsPodcastChannel     🎙️ This episode is proudly brought to you by Schoser Talent and Wellness Solutions Struggling with employee burnout, high turnover, or clunky onboarding processes? Feeling overwhelmed by change or unsure how to support your team’s mental health in the workplace? You’re not alone. Welcome to Schoser Talent and Wellness Solutions—your all-in-one partner for building healthier, more resilient organizations. At Schoser Solutions, we blend decades of expertise in talent strategy, employee wellness, and HR technology to help small and mid-sized businesses thrive. We specialize in optimizing UKG Recruiting and Onboarding systems—transforming the way you attract, hire, and welcome new talent—while also offering custom-built mental wellness programs, stress management toolkits, and change readiness assessments. Whether you're navigating rapid growth, organizational change, or looking to better support your employees' mental well-being, we meet you where you are—with practical tools, strategic insight, and a deeply human approach. Because when your systems run smoothly and your people feel supported, everyone wins. 💻 Visit: https://schosersolutions.com 💙 Because your mental well-being matters. 💙     🧠 Episode Summary: Lisa shares the painful and profoundly personal journey of discovering the truth about her father's death—35 years after it happened. What follows is a raw conversation about “grieving in reverse,” processing hidden trauma, and the courage to reframe our grief through radical acceptance and truth-telling.     🔍 Lessons Learned: The truth, even when delayed, has healing power. There is no expiration date on grief—or the right time to begin healing. Suicide is not a selfish act, but often the result of untreated mental illness. Rebuilding your narrative can help you honor your past and your future. Vulnerability fosters connection—and storytelling saves lives.     ⏱️ Chapters: 00:00 – Trigger Warning & Opening 01:10 – What is “Grieving in Reverse”? 03:30 – Lisa’s Story: A Life Changed by One Conversation 07:50 – The Impact of Delayed Truth 13:00 – High Functioning Depression & Missed Signs 16:00 – Therapy, Support, and Letting Yourself Feel 19:15 – Rebuilding the Narrative After Loss 24:00 – Honoring a Loved One’s Legacy 26:05 – If I Could Talk to My Dad Now… 28:30 – Key Takeaways & Closing Thoughts 31:00 – Help Is Always Available     📚 Resources for Mental Health & Support 🔹 The Survivors Podcast Website – https://thesurvivors.net/ 🔹 The HelpHUB™ – Mental health resources, tools, and support networks – https://www.thehelphub.co/ 🔹 Schoser Talent and Wellness Solutions – Mental wellness coaching & support – https://schosersolutions.com/ 🔹 Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads – A raw, award-winning mental health podcast – https://goesoninourheads.net/     📲 Follow & Connect With Us 📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_survivors_podcast 🔗 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-survivors-podcast 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSurvivorsPodcastChannel     🗳️ A Shameless Plug for Our Sister Podcast! Our incredible sister podcast, Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads, has been nominated for two People's Choice Podcast Awards—the Adam Curry Award and the Health Award! 🏆 Let’s help them bring it home! Here's how: 👉 Go to https://www.podcastawards.com 👉 Register with a valid email address (they do verify emails) 👉 Vote for Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads in both categories 🗓️ Deadline to vote is July 31st, 2025 Thank you for supporting their powerful mission to normalize mental health conversations through raw, real, and relatable storytelling!   #TheSurvivorsPodcast #EndTheStigma #MentalHealthMatters #SuicidePrevention #YouAreNotAlone #BreakTheSilence #GriefSupport #988Lifeline #SurvivorStories #HealingTogether #PodMatch #MentalHealth #SuicideAwareness #Podcast #Community #Hope #Grief #Stigma #MentalIllness #Support #LisaSugarman #GretchenSchoser #SchoserTalentandWellnessSolutions #TheHelpHUB     🎙️ See You Next Week! Stay strong, keep going, and remember: You are enough. 💜  

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In this heartfelt episode of The Survivors Podcast, Lisa shares her powerful journey of ”grieving in reverse” after discovering the truth about her father’s suicide 35 years later. Through raw reflection and radical acceptance, she unpacks the emotional impact of delayed truth, hidden trauma, and healing through vulnerability.

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The Hidden Trauma of Suicide Secrecy: Grieving in Reverse and Finding Truth

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