The importance of chosen family for building community episode artwork

EPISODE · Apr 25, 2025 · 9 MIN

The importance of chosen family for building community

from Different, Not Broken

I have two cousins. Two. And I didn’t even meet them until we were all adults.So, yeah—when people talk about the support they get from big, extended families, it’s not exactly the world I know.The importance of chosen familyYou want to talk about family? Mine has never really fit the greeting-card mold. Forget the idea that blood is always thicker than water. Turns out, the people who pick up the phone, drive hours at the drop of a hat, or tell you that you’re not the crazy one? Sometimes, they’re not even related to you. Sometimes, they are a middle school friend of your mom’s.Let’s get real: not every family is safe.Not everyone gets the shining, warm, leave-it-to-beaver home life you see on TV.(If you’re sitting there thinking, “well, my nuclear family is...fine?”—hold onto that. There are therapists out here with new boats thanks to all of us with tricky dynamics.)So, what do you do when your 'people' aren’t your people?What does it mean to build and value chosen family—for neurodivergent folks, folks on the margins, and, well, anyone who’s ever needed someone on their side when the world doesn’t play fair?In this episode of "Different, not broken", I’m sharing real, maybe-too-honest stories about losing someone who was never 'official family' but was instrumental to my life.About generational differences in holding onto friends, about the random soulmates and honorary aunts you collect along the way.The secret sauce of having someone who just believes in you—often long after you stop believing in yourself.About how you can cobble together your own safety net when the original factory settings are...suboptimal, at best.If you’ve ever wondered where you fit, or have mourned the distance (or absence) in your 'real' family, or want practical hope that you can find your people, this one is for you.Consider this your permission slip: family isn’t always about who shares your last name, but about who shows up, sees you, and gives you space to be exactly who you are—even if that means starting a new job at 69 or reminding you to tell the world to get lost when you need it most.Hit play to find your new favorite survival strategy for living different—not broken.Because you deserve more than 'good enough'—you deserve family that’s actually safe.(And maybe a few wild stories about just how weird and wonderful that can look.)As always, your support helps keep the podcast going, keep assessments accessible, and keep a whole lot of therapists’ kids in college. Every listen and share goes further than you think.Let’s take down the 'real family only' myth, together.And then be sure to get yourself signed up for all our updates!NewsletterIn case the link is broken - http://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/newsletterMentioned in this episode:Wanna sponsor this podcasthttp://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/sponsorsSponsor Different Not Broken

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The importance of chosen family for building community

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This episode is 9 minutes long.

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This episode was published on April 25, 2025.

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I have two cousins. Two. And I didn’t even meet them until we were all adults.So, yeah—when people talk about the support they get from big, extended families, it’s not exactly the world I know.The importance of chosen familyYou want to talk about...

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