The Inefficiency of Love: Why Dating Is Not Barter

Language philosopher Bry Willis explores why romantic attraction cannot be understood through the lens of standard economics, despite the superficial similarities to a barter system. While markets rely on stable preferences and clear exchange values, human desire is irreducibly aesthetic and resists being broken down into a simple list of traits. The author argues that our evaluative criteria are constantly shifting based on our past experiences, current moods, and even physical locations. Because we are unstable observers in a vast, inaccessible search space, we do not find a "perfect" match but rather settle for a local maximum that feels sufficient. Ultimately, long-term relationships are portrayed not as fixed transactions, but as evolving coordination problems between two people who are perpetually changing. Successful partnerships rely on a shared narrative that masks the chaotic, accidental nature of how we choose our companions.👉 https://philosophics.blog/2026/04/16/double-coincidence-of-wants/