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ACAST.com Hi everyone and welcome once again to History Tweets. My name is Tim. Welcome to the podcast where we take a lighthearted look at the dark side of history. And the topic of our podcast today is the insatiable Torre.
Torre was a Frenchman who had an unusual habit of eating everything in sight. We're going to talk about his insatiable appetite since this is Thanksgiving. He was like Liberace in a room full of dicks, didn't he? I would like to.
Let me remind folks that we are a comedy podcast and we use adult language. I maybe could have held off on that. Yeah, it probably is a timing thing. So if you're offended by adult language.
If that's what offended you just now. Yeah, you're probably already gone. So anyway, thank you for joining us. It is the day before Thanksgiving here.
So we thought that we would address this topic because it's timely. And I would like to introduce my co-host, a man that really needs no introduction. A man who is known as the most dangerous man in podcasting today. It's been said that he is an oasis in the desert of despair.
The very honorable, the Reverend Colonel Charles Beauregard, Hawk Waters III, affectionately known as Southern General. How are you today, Colonel? Not good to me. You're not good?
No, I'm not good. Well, I mean, I thought you would be all, you know, I thought you had a, you know, the last podcast was very cathartic for you. I thought it was. And then people got offended by my goddamn apology.
I apologize. You apologized just about to every group known to man that you've offended? And people were mad about you. They said the apology was distasteful.
Oh. So disrespectful. So would you like now to apologize for the apology? I'm tired.
You know what? You motherfuckers, it's Thanksgiving. You need to be thankful for some shit. You need to be thankful for the Colonel, goddamn it.
Quit sending me those nasty PMs. Yes. And so Brandy's not here, of course. I'm thankful for that.
She's out, you know, doing woman's work, cooking, Colonel. She should. You know she ain't cooking. Her mom's cooking.
She's playing pong. Yeah, she's going to bring some fucking baby carrots or some shit and some ranch dip and say, oh, yeah, I did my job. Probably so. Some big cakeola or something.
Some pizza flavor Pringles. But Brandy's not with us, so it's just me and Colonel today. So, listen, you want to jump into the story? I'm ready, Timmy.
All right. Well, it is Thanksgiving, and as I said, we thought this would be appropriate to talk about this guy, this French guy named Terer. That's what he's known by. No one that really knows what his real name was.
So we're going to talk about him because he was an interesting character. As you know today, Colonel, television is flooded with programs detailing people's eating disorders, everything from anorexia through, you know, my 600-pound life where people are too big to get out of their bed. I like to watch that. It makes you feel good about yourself?
I do feel good about myself. I watch it, and I got a bag of chips and white cookies, and I'm like, look at you, motherfucker, eating lettuce. Look at me. I wish I could be cycling with them.
Yeah, something pretty sad where they have to, like, put them in a truck and shit. But anyway, television exploits those situations, of course. And then, you know, of course, Colonel, we have competitive eating, like, on 4th of July. You know they have a hot dog contest.
Those people cheat, though, Timmy. Why do you think they cheat? They dip the buns in water and shit. Oh, what does that do?
So you don't have to chew so long and they just swallow the bun. But wouldn't you observe water weight then? Well, some of these people throw – I mean, these are not classy events. People might know what a damn thing.
Yeah, I mean, it's a big deal on 4th of July. One guy's, like, one – he wins it, like, every year. He's, like, a favorite. I can't remember his name, but I should have brought it up.
Anyway. Yeah, no, but, I mean, you see these guys. I mean, they shove the whole hot dog straight down the throat. Oh, I know.
They make Linda Lovelace like a fucking amateur. Well, believe it or not, Colonel, eating for audiences isn't new. It was a thing that people did. It was a form of entertainment.
Going back to medieval times where people were consuming, for entertainment purposes, helpings of rocks, spiders, snakes, and other poison snakes. These were showmen that kind of – it was – wouldn't the sideshows? Didn't they have people called geeks that would, like, eat anything? Yeah, eat anything you put in front.
That's Logan. I got one of those. He's not a professional geek, though. No, but when you've got three boys, the youngest, the two older boys are always like, Logan, I'll give you a quarter if you eat that.
Look at that spider over there, Logan. I bet you won't eat that spider. Logan will be running over grabbing a spider. We had a kid in high school.
We would give him a dollar, and everyone would put whatever they had left over on their plate for lunch and just pile it on a plate and give him a dollar. It was so gross. But evidently, that's not a – that's nothing new. It used to be done for sport in Europe in the 17th century.
There was a guy known as the Great Eater of Kent. That's a title for you. He was – in the 17th century, he was an English laborer named – Who was Kent? He was an English laborer named Nicholas Wood, and he would entertain fairgoers at county festivals by consuming 60 eggs, mutton.
Eat mutton. I love me some mutton, Timmy. Will you have some mutton? I will not have mutton.
Renee won't cook mutton. She ain't much of a – she's not a very diverse woman. Oh, but you like mutton. You're a big mutton fan.
You know, this – I'm just going to tell you this story real quick to me. Sure. One Thanksgiving, we had some Renee cooks every year. I don't know why.
She goes out and buys a goddamn 24-pound turkey, and there's five of us. But one year, I convinced her. I was like, goddamn, we don't need a whole damn turkey. I'm tired of slicing the thing, getting rid of it, you know, the whole thing.
Right. So she decided she was going to get turkey breasts. Okay. And so we went to the butcher shop.
I mean, it could be worse. She could have gotten nuggets. Yeah, it could be. But she's standing there looking at the – and she says – and if she would have said it all in one sentence, it would have not been nearly as awkward.
But she picks out a turkey breast, and she's in there, and she's got this kind of, you know, long-sleeved T-shirt on, but it's a little snug. And she looks at the – she says, yeah, I think I'll take that one. And then she looks at the butcher and said, does this breast look big enough? And me and the butcher had to look at each other, and the butcher was doing everything he could to not laugh.
And he said, no, I think that would be fine. Oh, okay. So anyway, this great – the great eater of Kent, this guy named Nicholas Wood, he would eat – consume 60 eggs, mutton, three large pies, and black pudding in a single setting, Colonel. You think black pudding is chocolate pudding?
I think probably. I don't know. You know that English people eat some weird shit, though. See, I've never had mutton.
I don't think I would like mutton. I've had mutton, but I had it raw. What is mutton? Is that lamb?
Yes, ma'am. Okay. And they don't run that fast. You can just run them down and take a bite out of them.
In the 18th century – Let me spontaneously ejaculate when I pick an IMT. Maybe we apologize. In the 18th century, a fellow named Charles Tyle of Dorset ate 133 eggs in an hour alongside large quantities of bread and bacon. So in 1792, a French showman named Defer ate a banquet in front of him that was in a packed house in Paris and included dishes of tortoise, bat, rat, and mole.
Ever had mole, Colonel? When I was in Vietnam, Timmy. You ate mole? I ate mole.
We used to eat rats. And let's get many rats. They're spicy. They are spicy.
And this was back in, I think, 1992, so I didn't really have to do it, but it was cheap. Right. It doesn't do it at war. Yeah, it doesn't do it at war.
And he included – the entree included roast owl. You ever had roast owl? It's like chicken. I don't know who would eat roast owl to me.
And he had a dessert of toads adorned with flies, crickets, spiders, and caterpillars. What the fuck do you need flies? Well, we need to sit around there all day. I guess he doesn't, like, chew them away.
So anyway, the point of all this is that it was a form of entertainment to watch people eat large amounts of food and really go to test sort of things in Europe in the 18th century. But probably the most amazing eater ever recorded was a guy named Terer. He was an 18th-century French showman, able to consume his own weight in beef by the time he was 17, Colonel. Holy Christ.
That's a lot of beef. That's a lot of beef. I've seen Logan consume his own weight in Pop-Tarts before. It's unclear whether Terer was his real name or just the nickname.
But the phrase boom-boom Terer was a popular French expression any time there were a powerful explosion. And they speculate it may have been applied to Terer because of his flexionist colonel. Apparently he would have gas quite a bit. Put it in my finger, please.
Oui. Oui. That is the colonel down French. Put it in my finger.
So that was a phrase. So, you know, he's well-known. And even though this was in the 18th century, this story is pretty well documented by scholars and doctors at the time, physicians at the time. What we know about Terer was that he was born near Lyon, France, around 1772.
His date of birth is unrecorded, and it's not known, again, as I said, whether Terer is his real name or just a nickname. As a child, though, he had a huge appetite. By the time he was three years old, he was raiding his parents' small chicken coop and eating all the eggs before his parents could collect them in the morning. That sounds...
He would colonel him like this. He would drink milk straight from the cow's udder until it was drained. I'd like to breastfeed that little bastard. He ate most of his waking hours when food was available.
When it was not, he would eat grass, rocks, or whatever was available. Okay. And for those listening, don't eat rocks because they're hard to pass. Yeah, we'll get to that.
That actually comes up. In his teens, it is said he could eat a quarter of a cow, roughly his own body weight, in a single day. Yeah. So...
I don't know if I like to see it. You don't know if I like to fuck out of the Chinese all you can eat before. No. You go, bro.
You go. You go. You eat too much. By the time...
I'm sorry. I apologize. Sorry to all of our Asian friends. Just the Chinese ones.
Yeah, I apologize. I have to be an insult. All right. By the age of 17, however, we know that he weighed roughly 100 pounds, despite his incredible appetite and unusual diet.
So, you know, he wasn't huge or anything. But he would grow... We'll get into this, but his stomach would really grow after he would have... After he would eat a huge meal.
By this point, he had outgrown his family's capacity to feed him, and they... You go. Basically, what happened, they cut him the leaf because they couldn't feed him. Oh, yeah.
Now he was homeless at 17. He joined a gang of thieves and prostitutes, Colonel. Sex workers, Timmy. Well, okay.
Thieves and sex workers. Write that down. That's another group we got to apologize to. Who toured the French countryside and with whom he begged and often stole food.
I wish we had sex workers that would tour the countryside here. I know. Come to us. I guess I say.
I guess with Backpage, you don't need them anymore. That's true. Did they steal my Backpage? Yes.
Oh, did they? Yes. That's my social outlet. I mean, that's where all my friends are hanging out.
When there was no food available to steal, Terrer would rummage through trash bins to find anything edible, Colonel. Eventually... He was the first dumpster dipper, Timmy. He was.
Eventually, his appetite was discovered by a traveling charlatan who employed him as a warm-up act for his show. You know, this guy's a... You know, he would sell... You know, like...
This guy's a medicine man, basically. A charlatan? By the end of his act, he was eating baskets of apples whole. And finally, whole live animals without chewing.
Now, you do not... Okay, I was going to say, you don't want to do that. Because you eat a mole live, it will eat right through your stomach, Timmy. No, not mole.
A whole animal, live animals. No, if you eat a live mole. Okay. They got those sharp little paws.
You want to chew. At least 30 chews per bite. 30 chews per bite. The more you know.
The act didn't always go as planned. And in 1588, while performing in Paris, he suddenly suffered a severe intestinal obstruction. It is believed a large stone became lodged in his belly. Members in the crowd took him to the local hospital, where he was giving powerful laxatives to shift the obstruction.
What kind of hair back then? I don't know. Milk over the leg, magnesium. Yeah, I don't think so.
Dr. Lax, back in 1588, got it. He quickly made a full recovery and proved that he was healthy by offering to eat the surgeon's watch and chain. To which the doctor, unimpressed, replied, If he does, then I will simply cut him open to get him back.
I thought it was a bullshit, right? Tarare became best known for swallowing live snakes and eels whole. Although careful observers suspected that he crushed their skulls with his teeth before he slipped them in his skull. Did you see the guy down in Kentucky, Timmy, that got up in a rattlesnake's face and was sticking his tongue out at the rattlesnake?
Because you know rattlesnakes, they do that. Right, right, right. Fuck him, rattlesnake, bit him on the tongue. Was he just screwing around?
It wasn't like it was a religious thing? No, he was just fucking around. That's stupid. Yeah, you wonder what you don't think rattlesnakes do like.
So apparently they were not, you know, the crowds thought he was, you know, fixing this in some way because he wasn't really swallowing these snakes. He was crushing their skulls with their teeth. I mean, either way, it's pretty impressive. It's hard to diminish the fact that it wasn't really a live snake.
It was a partially dead snake. He was pretty, Torreira was really fond of snake meat, though. Does the every snake come? No.
I mean, I left out the Liberace to me. Despite his unusual diet, Torreira was slim and of average height. Like I said, he only weighed 100 pounds. He was described as having unusually soft hair and an abnormal...
wide mouth this kind of turned me on a little bit in which his teeth was heavily stained and which the lips were almost invisible so sounds like quite a handsome man that's somebody from deliverance to me now when he when he had not eaten his skin would hang so loosely that he could wrap the fold of his skin from his abdomen around his waist uh so he was able to wrap his belly around i guess that's stretching yeah when full his abdomen would descend like a huge balloon girl the skin of his cheeks was wrinkled and hung loosely i mean it sounds like a mask he was so his cheeks were so stretched out that he could hold 12 eggs or apples in his mouth at one time now this guy's body to me was hot to the touch and he sweated profusely constantly you know what happens to people like that they got that foul body odor to me i mean nothing worse i mean he sounds like a real catch yeah yeah he doesn't oh god you know where we work you know we have that resource room and sometimes people come in and they will stay behind for three days yes you know no matter how much febreze you do no matter what yeah you know i don't think probably in the 18th century uh 18th century that hygiene was a much you know so when he was known for your foul body odor yeah it probably was pretty foul according to the london medical and physical journal to me he often snacks to such a degree that he could not be endured within 20 paces so he probably wouldn't some some i wonder how much of it was you know just uh for hygiene or maybe it's something with his his body's odor that he was i mean yeah what he was eating yeah yeah because you get people different nationalities you know if you eat a lot of spicy foods or whatever you can often tell that yeah um now this smell would get noticeably worse after he'd eaten and after he'd eaten his eyes and cheeks would become very bloodshot a visible vapor would rise from his this motherfucker's like a supernatural swamp creature a visible vapor was coming from this um he'd become lethargic he's like a pig pen from the peanuts except pig pen just had dust around and this guy had stank around so you know this guy this guy was worse he was worse than the decaying vagina i don't know that's the decaying vagina is pretty bad yeah but it doesn't have a visible vapor coming up off of it and that's see if you had the visible vapor coming up off the decaying vagina you'd be okay because like i said if you ever need if you ever meet a woman and she's got a visible vapor coming from a crotch area yeah just leave her alone now and that's good i mean that goes for men as well yeah yeah if you got the crotch cheese as a man and it's coming you see when you're looking at him you can't really swipe right blacktop in summertime it's like no leave that alone but uh he would become lethargic and he would belch noisily and his jaws would make swallowing motions oh my god and one of the reasons one of the reasons yeah this is probably shit he did not put on his cinder account no um he suffered from carotid diarrhea which left him constantly dehydrated which will probably account for the vaporous thing rising probably will be because i don't know did they have toilet paper i don't know i don't know what they used but despite his logic he did not appear to either vomit or gain weight aside from his eating habits his contemporaries saw no apparent signs of mental illness how the fuck do you not this motherfucker's eating a live goat how do you not see signs of mental illness or neither did they witness unusual behavior in him now these are the kind of friends to me that i want to have because you can do anything in the fucking world every intervention going on exactly when i go home everything i do is considered unusual behavior this motherfucker's eating frogs with flies on it and they're like oh that's cool there's nothing wrong with that so uh but other than his apparently apathetic temperament he had a calm demeanor so that's why they figured he was fucked up he was laid back yeah he was laid back if your ordinary appearance was unusual the sight of him eating was considered downright unsettling he would assume a frenzied appearance you know what you might want his first name is probably best start with coffee you know i'm wondering if this motherfucker wasn't a werewolf because here we go his ordinary appearance if it was unusual the sight of him eating was downright unsettling to me he would assume a frenzied appearance his sweating would increase and his cheeks and eyes became vivid red now that sounds like goddamn werewolf to me i think the rare was the first werewolf and was he in was he in paris he's in france yeah he was he was a french werewolf in france he was quick and active when we're sorry it's the american werewolf yeah well he was quick and active when hungry which would immediately which included immediately after eating a normal-sized meal however once he had gorged himself he would be overcome by the desire to sleep or else fall into a soft trance in which he just stared ahead belching and swallowing now i mean you want to take a nap if you gorged yourself let's just let's go back to his friends not noticing any unusual behavior okay he would snatch birds from the trees to eat them yeah be quick man and he could vomit up indigestible hair and fur much like the pellets of an owl now his friends didn't see that that was peculiar behavior he spit out the hair and fur if this motherfucker was a carny if he was in a freak show at the carnival timmy all the other geeks would be like goddamn that motherfucker's weird but his friends yeah that's kind of friends i want to have under the observation of an astonished doctor he once grabbed a cat that's straight too close tore open his stomach with his teeth drank his blood spontaneously ejaculated oh that was the other guy i'm sorry he then consumed the remainder of the corpse regurgitating the fur later now you know that fur that's gotta get stuck in your throat you get those hairballs and shit yeah that's why it's important again hygiene down there is important because otherwise you get big big hairball you gotta cough up later if you're gonna do the 70 porn thing men ain't gonna go down there i'm just this is a more you know moment it really is we probably should be talking about it with a female in the room to tell us how um how poorly we're behaving but no one likes the 70s bush no one no it gets tickles your nose it gets all poached in the eye and then later on you spit i went out once with this chinese lady and she had the 70s bush and i was like oh my god but at least it was a soft fine i mean she was beautiful she's nice and everything but you know i guess it's a you know 70s bush is still popular in china oh yeah i guess well razors are what razors are expected i don't know we've offended the chinese enough so i guess we should move on three billion of those people when we're not married but you know i'm pretty sure the government ain't letting our podcast in anyway probably not it's probably a good thing but uh but cats became his favorite meal when other food wasn't available he was recorded as having eaten 174 cats in a year who keeps track of that well he probably got a nap i mean my fitness style well cats get a lot of protein well they got a lot of calories too yeah depending on how large they are he does like vegetables but he won't eat your cat don't give him a pear don't give him don't give him green beans but is that broccoli oh give me the cat please i'll take that cat right over there give me the person can i know they come through could you imagine going out to eat with this son of a bitch he'd be sitting in one of those outside cafes poor motherfucker walking his dog down the street looks delicious like i'll have that please just yank him off the leash and tear into him no you know motherfucker was a werewolf but anyway he would he would just be disgusted by broccoli but he would eat four to five pounds of grass each day well that's cheap i mean well you could probably like most of them's lawn for free you know you could probably pay for it i mean that's a sweet deal and pity the fucking cow that was grazing in that field living is grass uh satisfying i mean i've never eaten grass i don't know but you know what i'd hire that son to take care of my front yard just once a week tartare he's tartare from now on tartare as his appetite grew he increasingly preyed on small animals in this way until his arrival in the neighborhood he would be preceded by a rush of stray dogs that didn't learn to flee his ass in terror so like it like um you know they say that you can tell when there's gonna be a storm how animals my cat goes crazy they knew when tartare was in the air that hair all got raised up it's just like hey you know we got a coyote on the street do you really yeah we just got a warning the other day that there's a coyote what the hell is it i don't know fucking why the coyote does he like have like an actually t-shirt or something no they've what they've done is they built so many subdivisions out in uh it's encroaching on their uh it's driven them further into the city and uh well you need a roadrunner there so that he has something to do i got i got a shotgun to me coyote shelter raccoons think they got a rough i'm gonna have big no you need to get you set your trap you go to acme.com no you know what i'm gonna do you get a big boulder at the end of a cliff i'm just gonna paint a tunnel on the side of my house and let the coyote run into it there you go that'll work so as his appetite grew he did increase his prey on small animals until his arrival in the neighborhood he would be preceded as the dogs learned to run away now dr baron percy a noted surgeon who would become his principal doctor and biographer regarded him with a mix of horror and pity much like the rest of the world sounds like i was gonna say that sounds like a lot of a lot of my day school he said horror pity and cash all right let a person imagine that all domestic and wild animals this is what his doctor said okay let a person imagine that all domestic and wild animals the most filthy and revenus are capable of devouring and that they may form some idea of the appetites as well as of the once of tarare and that didn't make a goddamn bit of sense basically you're saying that tarare will eat anything yeah what that's not nailed down if he can catch it he's gonna eat it why see that's why people like to have him over for thanksgiving somebody finally eat that fucking cranberry sugar and they make every year that nobody even touches fruitcake would be gone yeah fruitcake would be good yeah it's like you want dark meat or white motherfucker you ain't ought to be goddamn you didn't even leave the dog a bone dog is a dog is a dog here not anymore that motherfucker went somewhere else for thanksgiving when he heard you was coming now the cause of his behavior is not known he was studied by many noted physicians at the time and despite eating vast amounts of food it was noted that by doctors studying him that he never thought of it other than when large amounts of when fed large amounts of roasted or boiled meat well that'll do it yeah that will do it he showed no outward signs of ill health and doctors observing him noticed that his eyes was lively and his tongue clean to me well it's only clean thing on this sumbitch i'm not like a lady with lively eyes and clean tongue oh yeah but i don't want the vapor coming up off the body and i don't want the bitch to eat my cat well if she ate mcgee that'd be okay but leave lilly alone i like that cat his pulse was regular at around 84 beats a minute that's that's not bad that seems kind of high to me no shit that's mine mine's or mine yeah always like that 84 always months almost always like 61 that's good that's like an athlete but mine's always i mean even like when i was a teenager you see now you say it's like an athlete i just assume my heart's failing to me well it could be that it could be that yeah it could be like an athlete whose heart is failing his muscles were normally formed but observed by doctors to be weaker than usual although during his time in army he marched 25 miles a day with no ill effects all right that's because he was going 100 yards a time after a squirrel but the army was happy to get him he just he charge over that front line and eat five germans nothing like a um yeah like a prussian on the side yeah would you like russian dressing on that no i just went to russian please um now there were other documented cases of similar behavior from this period and all of these people's friends thought they was really fucked up but not his but none of the subjects other than tartare were studied there have been no modern documented cases resembling terrar it should be noted that hyperthyroidism can induce an extreme appetite rapid weight loss profuse sweating heat intolerance and fine hair yeah that's not like kind of his symptoms anyway that sounds like he was without the rapid weight loss but uh yeah now in 1788 with the french revolution four in swing terraro decided to leave the streets of paris and join the army he was caught up in the spirit of the revolution timmy plus army would provide him with a steady meal however measly however these measly rations were not enough to satisfy his appetite you know none of his his army buddies wanted to sleep around him mre's probably just they did not do it they say army travels on his stomach to me now soon he was carrying out tasks for other soldiers in exchange for a share of their rations that's smart later he would get more depraved and would how many fuck could this son of a bitch aside from eating humans get more depraved he was well apparently he could jimmy yes he would scavenge on the dung heap garbage bins and gutters for food yeah he was picking the corn out of first of all i ain't even the thought of a dung heap i know but that's the last place i'm gonna look for a meal yeah motherfucker was eating grass before now he's just going through the shit pile to see what he can find so now terraro shocked his new comrades with these unusual eating habits he finally got a group of friends that was like no just fuck up you can't be doing this shit around here he eventually was granted double rations using his pay to buy additional food whenever possible he nonetheless suffered from extreme hunger terraro preferred raw meat to cook of course he did um while his favorite dish was raw bullocks liver what the fuck i'm afraid to even look that up he would eat any available much like liberaci he would eat any available meat timmy okay liberaci is dead right yes yes we won't get super dead i didn't meet him i ran into him once yeah it was on fountain square in cincinnati uh you know cincinnati's home of uh kimball pianos and he was in town for their 100th anniversary and i'm walking i'm walking on fountain square and uh there's this big limo parked in front of the square and the door opens up and i'm walking by fucking liberaci gets out i'm like what up and it was like you know they made that movie about him and his boy toy it was his driver he was there too is it scott something his boy toy yeah he opened the door or something no no no this is closer when close to when he died i think but this is weird it's like my first day in cincinnati i'm walking down the street you think you're in like new york city you finally made a bit it's like fucking green acres and all of a sudden you're saying liberaci because i imagine liberaci didn't come down to your neck no he didn't get divorced too often but he was all decked out i mean he had a sequence and all that shit oh yeah yeah he was styling yeah now while in service on board the friendship hoche a sailor's leg was shot oh no no no fuck no we're not gonna go here oh no okay so this poor sumbitch this poor sumbitch is is The sailor gets his leg shot off by cannon fire, and Tarrer grabs the severed limb and begins to gnaw on it until a crew member wrestled it from him and threw it into the sea. Well, that's a waste. Well, it does seem like it. I mean, the fish are going to eat it now.
Well, I believe it was just probably a little unsettling to the people around him. He finally ran into a group of friends and said, no. This is an appropriate peg. Yeah, I know.
He was probably pissed at the guy through the leg. I know. I don't know. And it was probably a big chubby leg.
Had a nice, nicely marbled thigh. But it doesn't say whether the guy was killed. I mean, the guy might still have been alive. I think this is back before they could reattach it.
He was going to end up with a peg leg anyway. But anyway, it was observed after going to bed, generally at about 8 o'clock, he would begin to sweat profusely. Now, nobody knows what was really going on under the covers there, so he might have been just rubbing one out thinking about a nice, juicy marble thigh. Or timey's cat.
He was thinking about eating some pussy, Jimmy, and he got all excited. So anyway, he's a sweaty guy. Yeah, he gets a weird sleeping habit. After one or two hours of lying awake and perspiring, he would fall asleep before waking at around 1 o'clock and being extremely hungry, regardless of what he'd eaten before going to bed.
At this time, he would eat anything available, and if no food was available, he would smoke tobacco. I'm surprised he didn't eat that shit. That doesn't seem as satisfying. No, seriously, though, how'd you like to be this motherfucker's catamate?
You don't watch him crawl on somebody's goddamn leg. You wouldn't be afraid to go to sleep. Well, no, no. You know he's going to wake up at 1 a.m.
I'd rather be in prison with the biggest, meanest predator that you could ever – because at least they're going to let you live in the morning. You might be a little sore, but – Yeah. So at this time, when he woke up, he'd eat anything available, so that's why he had to sleep with one eye open around this, son of a bitch. At around 2 a.m., he would go back to sleep and wake again between 5 and 6, sweating again, hungry again.
That's miserable, though. He didn't get much rest if you're – he was like always hungry, I guess. Yeah, the sweating would stop, and it would start again whenever he would start to eat, Timmy. Okay, so this guy's a mess.
Now, suffering from extremes – No, Timmy, I'm a mess. All right? I will say I'm a mess. This guy is a – you know what?
I will – go to our page, and you will find some people who are a mess, right? And we love the people on the page. On our Facebook group page, right? But anybody listening, if you have ever grabbed the shot-off limb of one of your comrades and started gnawing on it, please let us know so we can give you a special shout-out and a recognition you deserve for being the most fucked-up person we have ever met.
Now, all these late nights, Colonel, because he wouldn't sleep very well, he was suffering from extreme exhaustion, and he was finally admitted to the military hospital. As a result, the military quadrupled his rations, but even that would not satisfy him. He scavenged for scraps of other patients' rations and even stole specimens from the hospital's lab to eat. I don't know what kind of specimens they'd have, but I'm guessing urine and – I don't know.
I don't know. The surgeons could not get their head around his appetite and decided to conduct experiments, and they called him a specialist, a Dr. Curveille. Two specialists, actually, Dr.
Curveille and Baron Percy. Percy was the surgeon-in-chief of the hospital. I don't trust anybody named Percy. Well, you know, he had to take what he could get.
The first experiment was to allow him access to the meal of 15 laborers just outside the hospital gate. So they're going to let him eat as much as he can. They're just experimenting here, right? Now you've got 15 hungry, pissed-off laborers.
That's not getting a lot of work done. Tarrer ate the entire meal of two large meat pies, plates of grease, and salt. This back before Lipitor, too. Does Rene cook plates of grease and salt?
I don't want to talk about Mrs. Colonel's cooking because sometimes what she makes ends up being just a plate of grease and salt, but we just eat it and go on. He drank four gallons of milk in one setting and then immediately fell asleep. So that was enough to kind of – To soothe the savage beast, Timmy.
But as we said, he had a dark – he took a – his experiments took a darker turn when he was presented with live animals. At one point, they presented him with a live cat. He tore open the cat's abdomen with his teeth and drank the cat's blood before eating the entire cat, not including the bones. So he left the bones, Colonel.
Oh, yeah. Soon after, he would vomit up the fur and the skin. Following this experiment, he was offered a wide range of live animals. They're just having fun now.
Now they're just fucking with you. You know what these doctors are doing? They're like getting all the other doctors in like, hey, check this out. Exactly.
And they got folks going on on the side like, they can eat this. They can eat this. It would have been fun to see this motherfucker run across a porcupine or a honey badger. Well, they gave him his favorite snake, and we said he would eat snakes live, lizards, eels, and puppies, Colonel.
Oh, puppy-eating motherfucker. Now, see, we've covered some nasty-ass people in our show, Timmy. We have. I mean, Ted Bundy.
But this motherfucker – We haven't covered Ted Bundy, actually. We didn't do that. No, it's got – Dummer. Okay, Dummer.
But none of them, not a single one, Timmy, was a fucking puppy-eating motherfucker. This guy is a puppy-eating motherfucker. He's a puppy-eating motherfucker, and he should be punished just for that. That should be the title of this episode.
He's a puppy-eating motherfucker. Anyway, he would eat all of these animals at the doctor's room in front of him. Eventually, it was decided that his appetite, Colonel, could have military applications. Well, I don't know why they didn't see this in the beginning.
Just go see that machine gun. That's what I'm going to go eat. Now, this is a little before machine gun. But they thought he could carry messages – he could eat messages and carry them across enemy lines.
What do you think about that? Yeah, but then you've got to wait for him to shoot them out. Well, yeah, exactly. And that's exactly what he did.
So one of his commanding officers told Torrer to swallow papers of key strategic importance, and he should take them to – he should take across – they were in war Germany at this point – take them across Prussian lines and deliver them to their troops that were cut off by the Prussians. They put it in a wooden box with a message, and then he ate it, and the plan was for him to take it over to comrades on the other side of the line, present himself as a German peasant so he could get through enemy lines, and then he'll pass this wooden box, I guess. And the message would still be legible, and that's how they could. Oh, man.
That's kind of smart thinking there. Yeah, that's for him. He was asked to repeat this feat in front of the assembled generals of the Russian army, and as a reward – they tested this – and as a reward, he was giving 14 kilograms of raw bull lung, which he ate in front of the generals. Have you ever had raw bull lung?
I don't think I have, but I'm often not sure what I'm eating when I'm at home. Thanksgiving is not tomorrow. I know one thing for sure. I ain't having no goddamn puppy.
All right. So on his first mission, he was sent to deliver a message to a French officer-held captive. Across enemy lines, he dressed as a German peasant, and went behind enemy lines. However, nobody had thought, to take the fact, that Torrer could not speak German.
Nein! Nein! The Prussians stopped him, questioned him, and when he could not speak German, they discovered that he was a spy. Oh, the poor puppy-eating bastard.
So they strip-searched him. They whipped him. But he did not turn over his cargo. But a day after being beaten by an intelligence officer, he finally confessed to being a spy.
The Prussians tied him and waited for his digestive system to deliver the goods. When it complied, however, they were enraged to discover that the message inside the box, they believed, was not a crucial military intelligence. It was a knock-knock joke, too. What happened is the French were just testing this theory.
They didn't really put an important message in there. Yeah, it was some benign message. And the Prussians' guards were upset about this, so they beat him. They beat him brutally and subjected him to a mock execution.
Finally letting him go, but before they let him go, they were shocked at his appetite. They put him on double rations, which were, of course, insufficient. And they increased his rations until eventually he was granted rations of ten men each day. Rations, at that point, prisoners of war in that period, were fed by their home country.
I don't know how that worked, but the home country, you know, so the French were still on the hook for his eating, I guess. Now, while a prisoner of war, Tari remained hungry and was recorded as having eaten the prison cat and at least 20 rats, which had strayed into his cell. Well, he had to eat the cat or the rats wouldn't come in. He also ate medicines for other prisoners in the infirmary who refused to take them.
Now, see, I can see you doing that. What is it? I don't know. Let me have it.
He suffered no ill effects, though. It was also recorded that he would regularly eat the prison's candles. And they gave him beer back then because the water was – Yeah, not really clean. It wasn't healthy.
Yeah, this motherfucker's eating eels. But when his ration of beer would run out, he would resort to drinking water, which was not very safe. He eventually, unable to feed Tari, depressions released him back to the French. They said, okay, you know, see you later.
Bye. Here, shove this box right back in his ass and send him on his way. Now, following this episode, Tari went back to the military hospital and pleaded for Dr. Percy to help cure him of his appetite.
Percy put him on a course of laudum, which failed. And, you know, if opiate don't work, man, you've got to do something serious. Yeah, and that was some powerful shit back then. Oh, yeah.
Percy would also try tobacco pills, I don't know what that is, wine vinegar, and large quantities of soft-boiled eggs to lessen his appetite, but none of them seemed to work. But he would sneak out of the hospital, Colonel, to search for food outside the butcher shop and fought with stray dogs for scraps. Probably fought for the dogs as well. If you're a dog, you might want to let him out.
If you've got a lot of balls going up against us, son of a bitch, because once he gets done with the scraps, you better hope he ain't still hungry. Okay, so he's in the hospital here. Now it takes a darker turn, Colonel. Oh, here we go.
His appetite led him to drink the blood of patients undergoing bloodletting. You know, bloodletting was a thing. When they put the leeches and shit on you, yeah. He was also caught several times in the hospital morgue.
Jesus Christ. Trying to eat dead bodies. What the fuck? Several of the doctors complained that Tarrer would be better off in a lunatic asylum, but Dr.
Percy defended his presence at the hospital. After a while at the hospital, Colonel, a 14-month-old child mysteriously disappeared. It was only a matter of time, Timmy. I mean, who did not see that coming, Timmy?
That doesn't sound good. No, it doesn't. If you're Tarrer and a 14-month-old child goes missing— Anything on two or four legs goes missing, they're going to point at you. Exactly.
It ain't even going to have legs, but a snake goes missing and they're looking at you. Now, Tarrer, he's immediately a suspect for eating the child. Now, Percy was unable or unwilling to defend him this time, and Tarrer was booted out of the hospital. Now, we don't know what happened to him in the period in between, but four years later, in 1798, Percy was summoned by him to the Versailles Hospital.
Tarrer was gravely ill. He suspected, due to Golden Fork, that he had swallowed— What the fuck is Golden Fork? Was it an actual Golden Fork? Yes, a Golden Fork.
There was a motherfucker in a museum, and he just swallowed a fork, too. But he had swallowed two years previously that he got lodged. Percy diagnosed him with a consumption. Tuberculosis.
And about a month after Percy was notified of his admittance, Tarrer was struck with terrible diarrhea. Aw. Oh. And soon died, Timmy.
Aw. His corpse rotted extremely quickly. To no one's really big surprise. I mean, when a motherfucker was already walking around half dead with the vapors coming off of him, so his body was dissected after his death.
His gullet was found to be abnormally wide, much like that of Liberace, so that when his jaw was open, the surgeons could see all the way into his stomach. Oh, it's like a snake. Yeah. His liver and gallbladder were also found to be abnormally large, much like my gallbladder, which they got straight out of my body, but it can't open.
His entire body was found to be filled with pus, and his stomach was enormous. Oh, my God. Most of his abdominal cavity and covered in ulcers. That's pretty gross.
Yeah. Now, his body, oddly enough to me, emitted a terrible odor. His pus-filled, swollen, vapor-throwing body had a terrible odor, which surprised no one. According to the London Medical and Physical Journal, the stench of his body was so unsupportable that M.
Tessier, chief surgeon of the hospital, could not carry his investigation to any further extent. He's like, fuck it. He's dead. Yeah, he's dead.
Motherfucker dead. And then, Terard jumped from the examining table, took a big chunk out of... Okay, that didn't happen. But that's what you expected from this motherfucker, because I believe he was a zombie all along.
Now, the cause of his extreme gluttony has never been diagnosed. According to experts, no case resembling his has ever been published in modern medicine. And while the reports of his eating habits are difficult to believe, they were recorded by some of the foremost medical authorities at this time. So don't question our credentials and our research.
We ain't bullshitting here. This really happened. Yes. This is a God's honest truth.
Yes. Motherfucker ate puppies. Yes. Puppy eating motherfucker.
Puppy eating motherfucker. So we got proof of this shit, is what we're saying. We ain't making it into it. It's well documented.
Yes. Although there remains no clear answer to his condition, medical experts believe that it was a result of a damaged part of the brain, which caused polyphiagia, which means excessive hunger to me. Oh. So, Colonel, what are your final thoughts of the insatiable tarare?
Well, you know what? I'm going to have the three boys at the house here. And those motherfuckers, they don't eat the dog. Right.
You know, I got to give them credit for that. Since they've been a little kid, we've had two cats, we've had a dog. They've not eaten any of those. We even had actually rabbits for a short period of time until we found out that the fucking pet store, we had those little Scottish dwarf rabbits.
Yeah. They're like, oh, don't worry about it. They're two females. They'll get along fine.
I built this fucking rabbit condo to me from my garage. It's two floors. I mean, they could play all over. These motherfuckers will fight all night to me.
All right. I had to finally separate them. Then one day, Logan walks down to feed the rabbits and he's like, hey, I don't know what's You know, there's a lot of things that we've covered. Right.
A lot of things. Albert Fish. Albert Fish. But you draw the line and eat the fucking puppy.
Puppy, motherfucker. Puppy, motherfucker. I mean, just come right up. It's like, yeah, boy, yeah, boy, yeah, boy.
What kind of fucking savage does this? So far, this is, of all the episodes we've done, this guy discusses you more than any. More than any. More than call a panzeran.
You know, panzeran at least. This guy acted like, everybody knew panzeran was fucked up. Well, he got raped by him. hobos he did this guy didn't get raped by no hobos he didn't get raped by no cats he didn't get raped by no puppies right you know car pans ram got raped by hobos it affected him he lived the rest of his life trying to get even with these hobos what a fucking puppy ever do this one for him he's having parare is having puppy tartare i just can't get on board with that i understand girl we would like to thank all of you we want to wish happy thanksgiving to all of you especially those who are on our facebook group um we thank you for making uh everyday fun you can always go on that facebook page colonel and there's always something to laugh about there's just wonderful people there so we'd like to wish all of them a very happy thanksgiving as well as all of our listeners and we want to say we are very thankful for our patreon supporters who allow us to keep the show on the air thank you thank you so much if you would like to be a patreon supporter you can go to patreon.com slash history dweeps where you can give a little you can give a lot or or just a little bit to me everything else we hope you all have a wonderful thanksgiving and colonel you got some shout outs for our patreon sponsors and this week we'll put up a link for patreon and make it a little bit easier for you if you like what we're doing and it's you can give us a dollar a month that's just fine with me perfect so you know we'd like to thank patreon supporters and we'd like to start with two really of our longest time listeners maybe our first patreon supporters to me we're alicia and chip they were yes thank you alicia it was great you know it's really fun meeting them here during it was it was i didn't get so much time there are a very neat couple and i hope you get to see them again at uh crime con in may yeah now jim moyer tommy lane um jason of course dykes jim c bright jim c right lovely aaron fowler nay nay of course um you got our nebraskan girl out there shelly garrett um bricky clavey uh brandy mcbride bridget bernard jennifer savoda maggie glover lovely maggie glover stacy talented maggie glover oh she is incredibly talented marcia boris i'll prosecute the bad puppy eating motherfuckers out there marcia you take care of business out there stacy also christine howwell the lovely jody wells daniel sweet and amber sweet we got them we got them double teaming us there they're twice as sweet they're twice as sweet they're too much but don't let this motherfucker get by because i don't know if you have a sweet tooth or not i don't know it sounds like you need anything it wakes anything like vegetables yeah shery weldon amber anderson even taray would not eat fucking broccoli yeah you have enjoyed bush um now uh lovely friends from they walk among us ben and roseanne happy thanksgiving although i got a bone i got a bone to pick with him to me i got a big bone to pick yes i do they don't have thanksgiving i don't think in england or it's not the same time but oh don't they but we're very thankful for them except again i got a bone to pick with him okay what's your what's your grade i bought a uh they walk among the shirt to me oh my god i have one too i need to take a picture of it yeah do you look anything like ben no no neither do i yeah i believe it's deceitful advertising to me were you thinking you were gonna look like ben i thought i might look like ben yeah i look like an old middle-aged man portly middle-aged man yeah my t-shirt should say they walk among us not for long but uh but anyway we love rosanne and ben so they're very supportive um lord violet michael dayo kelly um kelly shrett karen weidner kelly kelly kelly kelly jones the lovely kelly jones you know kelly jones is the funniest motherfucker i've ever met she is funny i mean she's the funniest person i would call her motherfucker okay you know i'm just on a roll because i beat motherfucker okay so kelly jones is the funniest ginger i've ever met lovely uh joseph kern laura meredith jessica grino mike from pleasing tears sarah bloom of course my girl sarah amber group sarah you know sarah is very active on her page facebook page and sarah i really appreciate all you do oh yeah and of course the lovely amber who um we hope to get to see sometime hopefully a crime context yeah mistress vader uh we got ron we got a mistress vader i know i like that i know we got diane from now american history podcast or i'm sorry no no no joe oh joe hopkins from now american history podcast i'm getting my history and i have a student from history goes bump we got rebecca omelette yes cheryl of course katherine cock garage richardson you know brandy seems to like to say that i know she brandy's a dirty dirty woman to me fiona crisp laura o'reilly i like fiona fiona we were talking about the best answers the other day fiona springsteen really did she see him in malaysia i do not know where she saw him but she said she lives somewhere across the world but she's a traveler you never know where she's gonna end up donna curran of course we got john and sue story christine bourgeois yes major anon i really like anon he's a good guy yeah he's a good guy but you know what i put a long rambling ass post up yesterday and then anon jumps in and says condenses my whole post down to like three sentences and i was like yeah that's what i tried to say except you used like two thousand less words than i did anon he's a very smart guy he is a smart kimberly cameron of course we said history goes bump elise amber tribino and that betray elise ambusco bill jahara i want to thank elise because um this is her first thanksgiving with her son oh great fantastic at least we're thinking of you down there in the ozarks yeah we uh markeith smith and dr jeff and the lovely don chestnut just not in their podcast um jeff's poetry uh jeff poems by jeff i think i love their uh back roads yeah back roads yeah they did an episode on the reagan assassination which is really good i would suggest anyone who likes history check it out back roads the history jeff with jeff and don chestnut i said i said he they did it they both did a great job well i believe you know just pretty smart guy but i believe don's his brains oh yeah definitely yeah andrew hap karen the lovely karen barnes um who's my favorite rachel flynn hollywood shirley squirrely shirley strap todd long lydia fisher now it's surely strap but they've already had thanksgiving in canada i know quit trying to double dip shirley god y'all you got your damn you know she would be upset if he ate squirrels oh damn right anyway it's hard to catch a squirrel though i have i see my cat one time i see him in the front yard just in his hunting mode and i mean he was all over the squirrel to me he leaped on the squirrel for about a second and a half and he realized he had just hit a fucking buzzsaw and this is a this is a cat timmy that has brought possums to my port he's caught bats he's killed snakes he's killed rabbits he hit this squirrel to me he don't want no part of this fucking squirrel so he just he jumped i never seen a cat jump backwards before but he jumped backwards so let's see where we leave off todd long lydia our buddy todd long yep lydia fisher tyrone phyllis monson melissa melissa montoya you killed my father prepare to die hey melissa britney ervin jennifer siemens i haven't seen jennifer jennifer or linda or linda i hope they're doing well happy thanksgiving jristen had a pool our friend from the vantage podcast marissa lovely marissa with just you know if you follow the vantage page and you follow marissa marissa had a baby not too long ago cutest little boy you ever seen yes i mean just as cute as you're ever gonna find zachary um christy christy from canadian true crime who single-handedly to me turned canada into turned him from foe to friend for me oh really oh yeah i am very pro-canada now well you well i think before you didn't realize they had serial killers up there and uh now that you're informed that they have some sickos up there you kind of like the country better well i know actually christy's just a very attractive woman she is so i just went with that attractive women uh you know i tend to like podcasts with attractive women yeah no i'm just kidding we got of course speaking of attractive women yes our friends over at insight charlie and ali the lovely charlie and the lovely ali ali from australia charlie from kansas city and one of the best podcasts out there insight tracy smith um jess from kiwi crimes yes and last timmy but not least and i should not even have to say his name to our listeners because he is loved dearly by every single listener yes rudy the wonder dog rudy the wonder dog keep him away from ty ray rudy will fuck ty ray up puppy motherfucker yeah rudy ain't no puppy he comes he coming rudy like that that motherfucker gonna be rudy be picking up his leg and he nod on it tartay be like oh we want to also say happy thanksgiving to our good friend um jen um wits doing what you can see the lovely lady beverly oh yeah lovely lady beverly and of course of course um dotty happy thanksgiving um we really do the show just for you or at least i do i know timmy tried to trip you and push it downstairs all the time but um we hope you're healing up well dotty and we hope just me but every single person on the page really if we had a popularity contest on that page it'd be dotty yeah everyone was been very nice and giving her well wishes and she's on the men she's feeling better and she's getting there it's gonna take a little time because it's an injury it's a little slow to heal but happy thanksgiving mom and of course the lovely nina instead from already gone nina yes nina is one of the uh nina is just the greatest voice of podcasting i agree i mean although ben is pretty good too well yeah if you have to divide them up into categories okay but could you imagine if ben and nina did a podcast together timmy it would be wonderful yeah it'd be too much all right so we'd like to thank all you for listening and we'll see you next time on history dweebs bye everyone happy thanksgiving good day you