The Intoxicating Lies of Alcohol with Meg Geisewite

This weeks podcast guest is Meg Geisewite who has written an excellent book shining a light on some of the many Lies and False Promises that alcohol makes. She’s called her book "Intoxicating Lies" and she shares her own highly relatable story while busting myths about alcohol that have shaped the limiting beliefs of many drinkers. Her book uncovers surprising insights into the alcohol industry and our society’s obsession with the mommy wine culture.  In this Episode After college Meg did some modelling and as she puts it she was "the poster girl for Alcohol" – she was Miss Budweiser and the Guiness Girl to name just two of her modelling gigs Fully buying into the false messaging from Big Alcohol that we need alcohol to have fun As she got married and had children she found herself sucked into the mommyjuice culture – seeing it as an essential parenting aid. The turning point for Meg came when as she puts it “My alcohol use was no longer recreational, it was medicinal” This is a red flag of dependence for so many of us If you’d like our free PDF called “30 signs you need to take a break from alcohol” then just email me – [email protected] For Meg the shift from pleasure to medicinal came as she went through a particularly stressful time in her life She felt “dutiful yet dead”, people pleasing and taking care of everybody’s needs but her own. At this time she was seeing wine as a reward when she could finally grab some “me” time Of course she now knows that this perceived “reward” was just adding to her stress and anxiety and as the external stressors reduced she found herself with a nightly wine habit She plucked up the courage to tell her therapist that she was worried about her drinking – only to be told that she was simply thinking about it too much That ill judged advice resulted in Meg drinking for 2 more years We agreed that whatever your therapist/doctor/friend says to you about your drinking if it’s on your mind then reach out for some help and advice Go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe to join a sobriety community who can enable you to change your relationship with alcohol We agreed that the stigma needs to be lifted from women and their drinking and we need to talk about it more openly Of course that’s what Meg is trying to achieve with her book and what I am trying to achieve with this podcast Society likes to put people in boxes and pushes the false belief that if we are not homeless alcoholics then we are fine In fact we are likely to be somewhere on the Alcohol Use Disorder spectrum which is vast Rather than compare ourselves with down and out alcoholics we should be comparing ourselves with the best version of ourselves we could be Meg’s moment of truth came when she found herself resenting her kids staying late at school to do sport as it was interfering with her wine drinking time She realised that she was no longer in control and this scared her That’s when she joined Sober Sis – thinking that the 21 day reset would enable her to drink moderately She just wanted some tools to help her to drink ‘normally” Of course “normal drinking” is yet another intoxicating lie – once we’ve crossed the line into dependence we need to quit drinking completely and stop hankering after moderation Moderate drinkers just moderate, they don’t have to join a reset program! We agreed that in fact Sober Sis 21 day reset program appeals to a lot of people who are dependent but believe that they can moderate The important thing is to bring these people into the conversation and that’s what we do with our 5 day Bootcamps – just go join our free Facebook Group called Sobriety Bootcamp and you’ll be ready to participate in the next one For Meg the veil of lies about alcohol began to lift as she read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace She felt great at the end of her 21 day challenge and decided to stay curious and continued on a 90 day challenge That’s the way to do it – step by step – we avoid the F word at Tribe Sober – the thought of giving up alcohol Forever is just too daunting at first – so go for 30 days, then 100, then 6 months and then a year. After an alcohol free year it’s highly unlikely you’ll want to start drinking again – unless you are still harbouring a false belief that alcohol can add something to your life We talked about the importance of mindset and Meg told us that 6 of the ladies in her sober community were going on a trip to Paris – although they had 6 months of sobriety they still felt that alcohol would enhance the experience – as she says they are stuck in the “deprivation” mindset which means they are still relying on will power to stay sober. After 100 sober days Meg began to get glimpses of just how awesome an alcohol free life could be and kept asking herself “what if I kept going?” – it’s so important to stay curious She did and now she is three years alcohol free We agreed on the importance of being in a sober community as we progress further in our journey – Meg talks about the “drinking amnesia” (also known as Fading Affect Bias) that struck her 15 months into sobriety We need our community to remind us that its only FAB We need our community so that we realise we are not alone in this We need our community so that we can ditch the shame We talked about Sober Firsts and how tricky they can be – Meg had to call on her community when she was at a dinner in early sobriety and challenged for being boring A community will give you LIVE advice – we get people on our groups saying – "Help! - how can I cope with this situation?" and we are always there to talk people down So if you’re looking for a sober community then go to tribesober.com, hit join our tribe and read about the support we offer Meg devoted her Year One of sobriety to educating herself about the science and as she moved into Year Two it was more about the "heart work" within her sober community She describes heartwork of returning to love yourself, finding self compassion and shedding the shame Meg found herself wondering why we aren’t warned against the dangers of alcohol In fact alcohol was registered as a number one carcinogen by the WHO back in 1988 but that information is rarely highlighted in the public domain Have a listen to my podcast interview with Professor Stockwell called The Deadliest Secret we all must share – highlighting the link between alcohol and 7 different types of cancer It’s rather ironic that it's left to QuitLit authors and podcasters to draw attention to the dangers of alcohol – but perhaps the message is more powerful coming from people who have struggled with dependence So please buy Meg's book and share this podcast to help us get the message out there to some of the many people who need to hear it Megs book is called Intoxicating Lies and is available on Amazon Her website is called intoxicatinglies.com More Info Subscription membership – you can join up HERE. To access our website, click HERE. If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book 66 Days to Sobriety, please email [email protected]. If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community, just email [email protected].   Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today Read more about our program and subscribe HERE   Help us to Spread the Word! We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share. If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts. Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you! We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning. You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and Instagram. You can join our private Facebook group HERE.   PS: How to Leave a Rating/Review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS Device) Open the Podcasts app. EASY. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (e.g. Recover Like a Mother) into the search field. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes). Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews. Click Write a Review underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate the show on a 5-star scale and write a review (you can rate without writing too but it’s always good to read your experience).