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Sep 4, 2026 30 min

The Invisible Load

from The Messy Midlife Toolkit Hosted by Dr Janine van Someren and Vivienne Berryman

Why can you feel exhausted when, physically, you haven’t actually done that much? Sometimes it’s not the things you’re doing that are wearing you out. It’s everything you’re remembering, anticipating, organising, checking, worrying about and keeping track of in the background. In this episode, we talk about the invisible load: the mental and emotional work that rarely makes it onto a to-do list, but can leave you feeling as though you’re permanently on call. We look at why capable women so often become the person who holds everything together, why “just tell me what you need me to do” isn’t always as helpful as it sounds, and how caring for other people can sometimes slide into feeling responsible for them. And, of course, we add another practical tool to The Messy Midlife Toolkit: the three-tab reset, a simple way to look at what’s taking up space in your head and decide what is yours, what can be shared, and what you might be ready to close. Just because you noticed it doesn’t automatically make it yours. Follow The Messy Midlife Toolkit: Instagram: @themessymidlifetoolkit Find out more about us: Vivienne: https://www.lifecoachingbyvivienne.com Janine: https://thewellbeingadvantage.com Buy Janine's book here: https://shorturl.at/sqGkA

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The Invisible Load

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This episode is 30 minutes long.

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This episode was published on September 4, 2026.

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