Covert Narcissists' Unspoken Rules: Why You Always Feel Like You're Failing episode artwork

EPISODE · Mar 12, 2026 · 27 MIN

Covert Narcissists' Unspoken Rules: Why You Always Feel Like You're Failing

from The Covert Narcissism Podcast · host Bleav + Renee Swanson

In relationships with a covert narcissist, control doesn’t always appear as obvious demands. Instead, it often shows up through a confusing set of small, unwritten "rules" that quietly shape everyday life. The problems come not from preferences. We all have preferences. But with a covert narcissist, these are rules with punishments. In this episode, Renee shares real responses from her CNG Facebook community about the strangest and most confusing rules they were expected to follow while living with covert narcissistic dynamics. Rules about lights, groceries, TV remotes, bedtime, friendships, and even which gas station or soda was allowed in the house. Individually these rules may seem small, but together they create a system of control that forces one person to constantly adjust, anticipate reactions, and second-guess themselves. If you’ve ever felt like you were always breaking rules you didn’t know existed, this episode may bring clarity to your experience. If you are navigating this nightmare, coaching with someone who "gets" it can make all the difference in the world! Join me at https://www.covertnarcissism.com/coaching-program DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Many people living with a covert narcissist feel like they are constantly breaking rules they never knew existed. In this episode, listeners share the strange, confusing, and sometimes absurd “rules” they were expected to follow in their relationships. These go beyond just personal preferences with flexibility and become rules with punishments.

NOW PLAYING

Covert Narcissists' Unspoken Rules: Why You Always Feel Like You're Failing

0:00 27:22

No transcript for this episode yet

We transcribe on demand. Request one and we'll notify you when it's ready — usually under 10 minutes.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long is this episode of The Covert Narcissism Podcast?

This episode is 27 minutes long.

When was this The Covert Narcissism Podcast episode published?

This episode was published on March 12, 2026.

What is this episode about?

In relationships with a covert narcissist, control doesn’t always appear as obvious demands. Instead, it often shows up through a confusing set of small, unwritten "rules" that quietly shape everyday life. The problems come not from preferences. We...

Can I download this The Covert Narcissism Podcast episode?

Yes, you can download this episode by clicking the download button on the episode player, or subscribe to the podcast in your preferred podcast app for automatic downloads.
URL copied to clipboard!