The Invite (Part 3): When Is it More Loving to Break Up Than to Stay Together?

Welcome to Part 3 of our deep-dive mini series on A24’s hit film The Invite. (If you haven't caught parts 1 and 2 yet, go back and listen, and major spoiler alert!) In this episode, Lauren and Trey unpack the aftermath of the movie's failed sexual encounter, dissecting the precise moment Penélope Cruz’s character looks at the central couple and delivers a devastating truth: "This isn't loving."Lauren, a certified holistic sexuality educator and intimacy coach, shares her personal history with Esther Perel’s groundbreaking text Mating in Captivity and connects the film’s climax to bell hooks' philosophy that what many couples call "love" is actually mutual abuse and safety-seeking behavior.Trey and Lauren explore the exact signs that indicate it’s more loving to consciously uncouple than to stay in a harmful relational container. Plus, they debate the film’s ending: Did Seth Rogen and Olivia Wilde's characters blow up their lives for the better, or can a single moment of radical curiosity save a dying dynamic?Key TakeawaysDrawing on Katherine Woodward Thomas's Conscious Uncoupling and the writings of bell hooks, Lauren explains why staying in a mean-spirited, destructive relationship isn't "love." Cutting each other down or slamming doors is rarely about pure malice; it is usually an automated, childhood survival mechanism triggered by a somatic sense of threat.Lauren introduces Robert Sternberg’s research on how human beings navigate romance. She explains how couples often plug their partners into pre-written narrative scripts (treating them like props or pawns) instead of relating to the living, breathing human in front of them.Referencing Esther Perel, Lauren breaks down the three specific scenarios where people feel most drawn to their long-term partner: when they are apart, when they see their partner in their element, and when their partner genuinely surprises them.If you and your partner are ready to stop operating out of old childhood survival scripts and learn how to communicate with radical curiosity, let's connect.Request your free 15-minute consult at sexedforyou.com/freeconsult.About ThemLauren and Trey are partners living in Central Virginia, where Lauren owns and operates Sex Ed for You. She provides comprehensive sexuality education and embodied coaching to individuals, partners, and parents.Through a biopsychosocial approach, Sex Ed for You works to restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and sexual relationships, while increasing the possibility of pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination, and violence (World Health Organization).Sexual health is fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples, and families, as well as to the social and economic development of communities and countries (World Health Organization). When individuals are blocked from sexual health, they are often stunted in their ability to develop sensual play, embodied connection, and enjoyment.Learn More & ConnectLearn more about Sex Ed for You: ⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com⁠Schedule a FREE CONSULT with Lauren: ⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult⁠Learn more about partnered communication and relational education on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/sex_ed_for_you/⁠Subscribe to the YouTube channel for conversations about sex, partnership, communication, and love: ⁠https://youtube.com/@thepartnershippodcast⁠Important RemindersThis is not a “how to” podcast, but rather a “how they” podcast. Lauren and Trey share personal experiences, perspectives, and reflections, inviting listeners to learn from what resonates, question what doesn’t, and decide what feels aligned for their own lives.Lauren is not a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy and Relationship Coach.