The IRS Rule That Could Save You $56,000 When You Sell Your House

Episode Summary:Most couples think they're stuck on home buying because they can't afford it. Roger and Kristen are calling BS on that. In this episode, they tell the unfiltered story of how they left West Hollywood after Kristen was attacked in broad daylight by a mentally unwell woman — and how the part that broke her wasn't the attack, it was that bystanders kept scrolling past her bleeding on the sidewalk. They unpack how that moment (plus COVID, plus two ugly mask confrontations Roger had) cracked open the conversation that eventually led them to Gilbert, Arizona — a town three different people randomly recommended to them. They bought their first home thinking they'd live in it for two years. Six years, one marriage, and one baby later, they're still here. Roger drops the IRS Section 121 rule (the "two of the last five years" capital gains exclusion) that gave them permission to stop searching for the perfect home and start building one. And Kristen reframes the entire conversation: most couples don't have a money problem. They have a clarity problem.Key Takeaways:The reframe that changes everything: You're not buying a house. You're buying a vehicle for your values. Get clear on the values first, the real estate second.Why "forever home" pressure keeps couples stuck: Searching for the perfect house is often fear in disguise. Permission to leave makes it easier to arrive.The IRS Section 121 rule (the "2 out of 5" loophole): If you live in a property for 2 of the last 5 years before selling, you pay zero capital gains tax on a huge chunk of the profit. Roger explains how some couples "rinse and repeat" this every two years.The real reason couples get stuck on big decisions: It's not money. It's the lack of clarity around shared values — and the avoidance of the conversation that surfaces them.Plans are allowed to change: Couples don't grow apart because life shifts. They grow apart because they stop updating each other in real time.Legacy isn't built in one big decision. It's built in small, conscious moments — awareness over reaction, alignment over ego, growth over discomfort.Frameworks MentionedThe Section 121 Capital Gains Exclusion ("2 out of 5 rule")Values-first decision making for couples — define the values, then choose the vehicleThe "money problem vs. clarity problem" reframeReal-time relationship updating — the practice of telling your partner who you're becoming, not who you wereConnect & Go Deeper🎙️ Subscribe to We Love Our Family But Damn wherever you listen so you never miss an episode.💍 Kristen's Money & Marriage course is open — built for couples who want to actually enjoy talking about money (and stop fighting about it). Link in show notes.🏡 Want to run your real numbers with Roger? He works with couples all over the country and is — promise — not a pushy mortgage guy. Book a no-pressure call. Link in show notes.💌 If this episode moved something in you, share it with your partner. Talk about it over dinner tonight. That conversation is the legacy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bykristenlee.substack.com