The Key To Happiness - Your Relationships With Others episode artwork

EPISODE · Dec 29, 2023 · 39 MIN

The Key To Happiness - Your Relationships With Others

from Imperfect Mens Club · host Mark Aylward & Jim Gurule

Mark begins with revisiting the framework of our program. The center of the flywheel and the radiant thinking that moves out from center to the 5 areas of life and todays podcast is about the 5th and final area…Others.  People and relationships Mark transitions to how events like Covid have made human contact and relationships even more important than ever Jim tells a story about Christmas dinner with 10 family memebers at which they practice 2 traditions. First they go around the table and everyone makes his "Declaration" for the year 2024 and second "what are you hopeful for". Jim committed himself to "putting it out there" even though not everyone is going to like it He hopes we become America first again. Lead with being an American and not a group He spoke of his Latino family never identifying as Latino first.  They were Americans who were also Latino Mark agrees and says it's a joke that we even have to talk about this Then Mark brings up the Harvard Study Of Men and Happiness Article Here Relationships was the number one contribution to happiness. Purpose was number 2 Mark shares some context about the study and how rich and accurate the data is after 85 years! Jim brings our flywheel of life into the discussion.  He explains out "others" category Mark talks ab out his dad's family of eleven children and some of the conflict that existed there Jim relates the Others category to the other 4 and shows again that each area affects the other 4…and it's all about self awareness Mark brings up his eldest brother being a pilot, in part, because his father was a pilot Jim says we're all the products of 4 people…both sets of grandparents…whether you know them of not Mark talks about interested his eldest daughter is in learning about her ancestry Jim claims he's gotten more interested in his ancestry as he's gotten older.  Then he talks about his grandparents from Switzerland Jim then talks about getting to know his father really well after his passing during the settlement of his estate (very interesting). He finishes with the importance of figuring out your own self through your understanding of your ancestry Mark shares his opinion on self awareness and how it benefits relationship Jim begins to talk about men and women and shares that everyone is not the same.  Men and women are different Mark asks Jim how many women friends he has that aren't the wives of his or his wife's friends:) Jim admits that he has no female friends but that his kids do have friends of the opposite sex that they've not had sex with…and he feels this is progress. Mark agrees that his kids are the same and that this is mostly good.  Progress. But things like polygamy are not sustainable Jim revisits his female influencers…his mom was great Mark shares the same about his mom Jim shares his discovery at about 10 that he was dyslexic. He talks about being publicly humiliated and his mean ugly older female teacher. He became anti authority and distrusts older ugly women:) Mark acknowledges that that kind of treatment will leave a scar and likely create an anger over time. Jim agrees and then brings up his young hot teacher who had the opposite effect The guys laugh at movies from the 80's and how thy could never be made today. Mark brings up Mel Brooks Jim shifts the discussion to men and then speaks about the value of good friends…they anchor you and call you on your shit Mark shares that because he moved when he was 26 that most of his friendships are from 26 on, but they are solid 20 plus year relationships nonetheless. Jim asks Mark about his grandfathers and Mark shares his recollections, then Jim asks Mark about whether he has different relationships with his daughters and his son. Mark shares that his relationships are quite different Both guys share insights about their daughters and how we go from teaching them to getting taught by them Jim shares a story about losing his dad and talking to his friend about losing his. How losing your dad can be empowering as an adult…you get permission to no longer have to impress him Jim reflects on a discussion with his daughter about how he has evolved as a man, a dad and that he was different when she was a child Jim concludes with a story about his involvement in a high level 3 day coaching program "Landmark Forum?" Some cool exercises about communicating with your father or mother and discovering hidden agendas and misunderstandings          

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