The Least Problematic Woman In The World Inspired My Newsletter’s New Name

Dylan Mulvaney didn’t change her name when she transitioned — but her one-woman show inspired me to change mine. The name of my newsletter, that is.Dylan briefly discusses nuance at the end of her iconic one-woman show, The Least Problematic Woman in the World. Something about hearing that word, in the context she presented it in felt like a lightbulb moment.I was like, ‘Oh, right, nuance. This very nuanced world we’re living in.”I really can’t tell you how I jumped from that thought to, “I should change the name of my newsletter.”I hadn’t even been thinking about changing the name until I heard Dylan Mulvaney say ‘nuance.’ Just like I never thought about living in San Diego until I visited. (Ironically, where Dylan once lived, too.)But like so many things in my life, the rebrand and rapid recent growth of this newsletter happened slowly and then all at once.Back in June, I sat down to write what I called the “Wild Cozy Free 2025 State of the Union” to reflect on my two years here at Substack, and what ‘wild cozy free’ means to me now.I first claimed my Substack URL on May 8, 2023, and published my welcome post nine days later on May 17th.The name Wild Cozy Free came to me late one night. I had recently found out that a potential book project wasn’t going to happen the way I thought it would. I had this whole collection of non-fiction essays, and nowhere to put them, as a playwright who had formerly only published fictional dramas.I remembered how Glennon Doyle’s writing career started, with her blog, The Momastery.“I’d tell my shiny, happy representative self to be quiet. And I just allowed my wild, original, honest, truth self forward.I started a blog, and it turned out lots of people needed to hear the truth like they needed air. Over time, as I wrote to you each morning, you became my meeting, my friends, the community I’d end up doing life with. Since those early days, a whole lot has changed for me… those early writings have turned into three books, the last of which was Untamed. I watched from my home this past year in awe as Untamed became one of the biggest books of 2020 and 21.And because of that, things have gotten bigger and wider and fancier. And the bigger and the wider and the fancier it all gets, the more I miss those early days. So here we are, back to the beginning, just you and me in the early morning in our coffee and the truth. Full circle makes me very happy.From We Can Do Hard Things: 1. ANXIETY: Is it just love holding its breath?, May 11, 2021Looking back at my very first Substack post, it’s now easy to see how my own words echoed Glennon’s —The day I started toying with the idea of writing a personal blog, words started pouring out of me faster than ever before. It was like my mind got the message that I could finally say whatever I wanted to, without worrying about the correct format.I’m good at brainstorming and free writing, but all of my writing typically falls into one category: play, novel, essay, song, or maybe a poem. The only works I’ve ever widely shared are plays. I hope to share the novels one day, once I finish them. The song lyrics and poems are typically just for me or close friends. The unfiltered stuff.The most unfiltered stuff is tucked away in my notes app. The writing that I know probably won’t ever make it into a future play, novel, essay, song, or poem. The writing that I won’t assign to a character, or fit into a dramatic arc. The thoughts I jot down when I’m waiting for the train. The things that pop into my head when I’m listening to a podcast or a moody playlist on one of my hot girl walks. The anxieties that keep me up when all I want to do is sleep.This blog will be a home for those thoughts.Two years later, this blog is still a home for those thoughts. Reading this Substack is very much like taking a peek inside my notes app, because my notes app is where most, if not all, of the essays start out.The iPhone Notes app is pretty much my virtual diary.Diary. Like The Nuance Diaries.Of course, when I started this blog, I did have to wrestle with my inner critic’s protests. Who would want to listen to us?I’m well aware that the concept of women unmasking their real, authentic selves isn’t original (even though it’s still relatively quite new.) That’s a good thing, a really good thing; that so many of us are finally taking up space and showing up as our full selves.Instead of shutting myself down and convincing myself that I have nothing new to contribute to that conversation, I’m going to defy my inner critic and take up some space of my own.I’m going to slowly strip myself of shame. I’m going to let my wild, cozy, free self roam, say what she wants to say, and see where that takes us. I hope you’ll join me, and bring your wild, cozy, free self along for the ride.I’m not here to teach you anything new about yourself, or the world for that matter. I’m just here to share the thoughts that I usually keep to myself* about myself, and the world around me. An imperfect offering of validation and truth.This description still rings true. This newsletter is still the place I share the thoughts that I usually keep to myself about myself and the world around me.While writing my Wild Cozy Free 2025 State of the Union a few months ago, I came up with this, Wild Cozy Free is how it feels to show up as my real, authentic, unfiltered self with my mess on full display.It’s like being in the WILD. Uncharted territory. No one has gone where I’m going. No one is going to experience life the way that I do. I’ve searched for blueprints for so long on how to live. I’ve looked for the right answers and wisdom. But the only right wisdom is mine. So here I am making my way with no map, trekking through the wild. Bushwhacking, if you will.There’s something COZY about coming home to who I am, and nesting there. When I feel really connected to myself, I often take this breath of release like “oh here I am”, like when you’re snuggling up on a cozy sofa.I just got this image in my head of a family learning to take care of a newborn. And I imagine that a lot of new parents might call those first few months both wild and cozy. One minute you’re like “wow, how do I keep this human alive? I can’t do this. ” and the next minute you’re looking at this perfect soft angel swaddled up on your chest with the perfect baby smell and you’re so content and calm in the chaos.(And no, I do not have kids yet, but I really look forward to being a mom one day. And that being said, I know that I have no idea what the reality of raising a child is like, and the last thing I want to do is oversimplify the complexity of being a new parent/caregiver.)Pouring my heart out across the page, and letting people get to know the real me as I peel back more and more layers, is really FREEING. It’s the feeling of being seen and accepted without pretenses or performance, or expectation. I am free to be myself and evolve.Wild Cozy Free is a feeling, an identity, a state of mind, and something I’m in constant pursuit of. It’s like my personal brand of authenticity.Looking back, it’s very possible that I was subconsciously starting to realize that Wild Cozy Free felt like more of a vibe than a newsletter name.It was a great newsletter name for the last two years. But this blog is no longer about just me and how I move through the world. It’s about what I see and how I experience the world, too.Enter, The Nuance Diaries.Something just clicked when Dylan Mulvaney said that word, ‘nuance’, in one of the final moments of her gorgeous, singular, whirlwind one-woman show, The Least Problematic Woman in the World. I HIGHLY implore you to catch this weekend before it closes Sunday, if you’re here in New York!My mind just couldn’t let go of that word, nuance, and what it means to have nuance and be nuanced.At first, the phrase ‘the nuance report’ popped into my head — but the word ‘report’ felt a little too newscaster for me personally.The word ‘diary’ is what followed. Maybe I was subconsciously thinking about the diary entries that Dylan shares in her memoir, Paper Doll (which she signed for me!) Or maybe I was thinking about the Sex and the City spinoff, ‘The Carrie Diaries.’Honestly, if I tried to trace back the origin of every idea and detail in my brain, we’d be here until 2030 minimum.I ran the idea by a close friend the day after seeing The Least Problematic Woman in the World, and she loved it. She said that it felt like a great name for a newsletter where I share my ‘hot takes’ on the world. (I myself think that my takes are lukewarm at best, but who am I to correct my bestie when she calls me and my takes hot?)I put together the new logo/wordmark and changed my URL that night, just 24 hours after seeing The Least Problematic Woman in The World. You might be thinking, What is the actual definition of nuance? Okay, but what does that actually mean?Something that is nuanced has many different shades of meaning, in the same way that a photo might have many different shades of gray.https://study.com › lesson › what-is-nuance-in-readingCloser… but what does it really mean?It’s very simple: When something is not “black and white,” it’s “nuanced,” i.e., shaded.https://thinkclearlywriteclearly.wordpress.com/2015/01/02/what-is-nuance/That hits it on the head for me. I think of nuance as the gray area. The both/and of it all.So by that definition, Wild Cozy Free was nuanced all along. The very description of something being both wild AND cozy feels pretty nuanced to me.Because wild can be cozy, and cozy can be wild.I started writing here on Substack under Wild Cozy Free to peel back the layers of myself and the world around me. And now inside The Nuance Diaries, I will continue to do just that.It kind of feels like when I first set out on this journey, I delivered a mandate to myself to show up and explore who I really am, on the page.And now with the rebrand of Wild Cozy Free to The Nuance Diaries — I’m continuing and expanding that mandate. I’m still writing about me, but also about how I see things and walk through the world.As for my inner critic, who thought no one wanted to hear what I had to say?I’ve become a frequent flyer on one of the Rising Substack Bestseller Lists with 99 other writers.The Substack Team has personally invited me to an intimate in-person reception for bestsellers.But more than that, you, you reading these words —You welcome my words into your home to be your coffee read in the mornings.You read The Nuance Diaries in Nigeria, Australia, the UK, India, the Philippines, and more.You share your favorite pieces with your friends, and say kind things about me on the internet.You care what I have to say. You let me take up space in your hearts and minds with my words.I could not be more grateful. Whether you’ve been here since Day 1, like Donna McArthur , or if you’re a new friend like Elle :) I also have to give a very special shout-out to all of the Swifties who are here thanks to my now most-read piece, Taylor Swift Isn’t Going to Save The World, which has 1,000+ views and brought in 30+ new subscribers.So, as I wrap up this week’s nuance diary entry, I want to know —What does the word nuance mean to you?And…What are you tucking away in your notes app these days?Here’s a peek inside mine —Thank you so much for being here. Much more to come. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thenuancediaries.substack.com/subscribe