The Life I Didn’t Live: Grieving Unfulfilled Dreams (ADHD Edition)

Host: Christine Dunning, Master Certified Life Coach & founder of Two Cats CoachingGuest: Stacy Collins, hospice chaplain & fellow late-diagnosed ADHDerNot all grief follows a funeral. Sometimes it shows up as a quiet ache for the life you didn’t get to live—children you didn’t have, a career that didn’t land, a relationship that never fit, an identity that never fully had space. For many late-diagnosed ADHD adults (especially women), naming these losses is an act of self-compassion—not bitterness.What We CoverDream grief 101: Mourning the imagined life vs. accepting the real oneADHD & regret: indecision, impulsivity, comparison traps, and the shame spiralChild-free/childless stories: ambivalence, choosing differently, and finding meaning without parentingCareer pivots & identities: opera dreams, teaching careers, and redefining successLate diagnosis reflections: re-reading your past through an ADHD lens (RSD, impulsivity, masking)Health & aging losses: surgeries, changing abilities, and letting go with graceCommunity/societal grief: collective shocks, safety, and unresolved grief in public lifeFrom “what if” to “what now”: making room for the life that’s here and still comingGentle Reframes & PracticesName it: “This is grief.” Use language to reduce shame and invite care.Permission > perfection: You’ll do grief the way you do grief.Feelings → values: Ask, “What did that dream represent?” (belonging, freedom, creativity) and meet the value in new ways.Tiny rituals: Write a goodbye letter to an old dream; light a candle; plant something; mark the transition.Future-self check-in: “What brings peace/joy/meaning now?”Favorite Lines“Naming these losses is an act of self-compassion, not bitterness.”“Let go of the life you thought you’d have to make room for the life that’s yet to come.”Series RoadmapEpisode 13: Wait, Is This Grief? Episode 14: Why Goodbye Doesn’t Come Easily (Loved Ones & Hospice)Episode 15: The Quiet Ones Hurt the Most (Pet Grief)Episode 16: The Life I Didn’t Live (Grieving Lost Dreams) ← you’re hereEpisode 17: Rituals & Real Talk (ADHD-Friendly Grief Rituals)Resources & SupportU.S. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7)911 for emergenciesLocal mental-health providers and ADHD-informed therapistsDisclaimerThis podcast is for education and support. It is not medical or mental-health advice. If you’re struggling to function or feel unsafe, please seek professional help (U.S.: 988 or 911).ConnectWebsite & show hub: TwoCatsCoaching.comIG/FB: @TwoCatsCoachingFreebies? Click herePlease subscribe, rate, and share if this helps you. 💛