The Listening Reset | JFB E11

(Public Service Announcement - the video starts a little slow because for some reason I could not remember what I wanted to say - HA! But it picks up - promise) I have NO SENSE OF DIRECTION. I get lost a lot. And when I get lost, I kinda loose it. My brain shuts down, and then I get overwhelmed, and then I cry, and then I call my husband, and then I get mad at him for not knowing where I am and not telling me how to correct my course. Totally unreasonable - I know. I get uncontrollably emotional in these situations. Surprisingly the Listening Intervention works really well in these situations. I feel like this is a really under used mindfulness intervention that can be applied to a vast amount of situations. It doesn’t have to be while you are sitting with your eyes closed (especially if you are driving), or on a beautiful hike in a forest. You can (purposefully) listen to sounds in a room, listen to music, or even just listen to your breathing during moments of chaos. Reminder - Mindfulness is Awareness that arises through Paying Attention, on Purpose, in the Present Moment, Non-Judgmentally (yes - there a multiple definitions - this is the one that resonates most with me - it’s from Jon Kabat-Zinn). When you change your focus of attention from freaking the f#@ck out to something else, your brain starts to work again. Not just any part of your brain, your Thinking Brain. Redirecting your thoughts away from crisis mode allows your Emotional Brain to take a step back, calm down, and your Executive Brain can jump in and come up with a solution. Here’s what this looks like for me while driving: * Put address in Waze * Follow along * Get confused by highlighted map because I’m clearly on a different road than what it says I’m on (maybe) * Try to figure out which exit it wants me to take * Take the wrong exit (if I have 2 choices, I typically choose the wrong one) * End up on some highway with NO exits forever in site * Cry * Try to enter address again * Change to Maps (Waze must be wrong) * Can’t figure out icons or graphics of Maps * Phone shuts down * I shut down * Cry some more * Call my husband * Get frustrated at him (he has NO IDEA what he’s talking about) * Hang up * FINALLY REALIZE I’M FREAKING OUT (Awareness - yay) * Purposely switch my focus to Listening * Turn on music 1) that I like and 2) that I know is calming (I love classical piano music) * Attention shifts away from emotion (and Judgement) of being lost as I intentionally listen to the music * Emotional brain likes this (yay) and calms the f@#k down * Prefrontal cortex can now step in and make some logical decisions * It says “Yup - you are lost - but no biggie - we just need to drive and turn around when we can.” And then, “Yes this kinda sucks, but it is what it is - nothing more we can do now.” * I’m still a bit frustrated, but now I can think and I have a plan. * I end up on time wherever I’m going - because I always give myself plenty of driving cushion JUST IN CASE I GET LOST (which I inevitably do). So - give this a try. Whether you are driving, or at home, the office, grocery store, or even during a family get together (what - your family never triggers you???). Listen to sounds in the room, sounds outside, or play some amazing music if you can. And report back - I love all your stories and successes. They make me smile :) One last thing I do at the end of my drive * Call my husband back and apologize for my lame behavior. I’m so not good at this, but I’m working on it. And remember - when all else fails - Just F’ing Breathe This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mindfuljunkie.substack.com