The Lone Vagina

They call me the Lone Vagina I’m the only woman on the lineup Thanks for reading Rambling Missive! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. And I’m feeling pretty fed up Cos the maths just don’t quite add up. Four comedians on the bill: Jack and Jack and Jack and Jill A quarter of the entertainment Representing half the population. I’m not sure it’s really cricket. Girls, yeah sure you booked the tickets, Set up the Whatsapp, found a sitter - All while he was on the shitter - And to thank you for the work you’ve done. You get a whole 10 minutes of the fun. “We’ve booked one lady wait and see, We hope she’s good, she might not be. She might say period, she might say blood She might talk about her hairy fud. I don’t like it, it’s not my life. Let me tell you 6 reasons why I hate my wife”. Yes, I am the Lone VaginaAnd there’s really nothing finer Than a car share home with Rog Whose hand keeps creeping near your crotch (And has views aligned with Farage). Or a meal deal from a garage, While some cocky young white scrote “Has some thoughts” and gives you notes. Look, I’m not a man-maligner Or a vicious social climber But to be the Lone Vagina When you’re not even headliner? It’s exhausting, it is strange And it really needs to change! So I keep going - I persist I will remain, endure, insist. Because for every guy or bloke Who says “women can’t take a joke” There’s someone sitting in the crowd Who hears my stuff and laughs out loud And sees herself in what she hears And knows I share her hopes and fears, And feels less lonely, feels less shame And bothers to write down the name Of the Lone Vagina. Thanks for reading Rambling Missive! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit louiseleigh.substack.com