The Lost Art of Love: Biological Relating, Desire & Dating in the 21st Century with Martine De Luna

Every woman asking how to be more feminine is asking the wrong question. Martine De Luna has spent fourteen years guiding women through what she calls biological relating. Her argument is that femininity is a woman's natural state, and that the only thing capable of taking her out of it is conflict. Every course promising to make a woman more feminine therefore treats a symptom as a deficiency. The question she asks instead is where a woman first learned that being chosen required leaving parts of herself behind. The conversation covers what modern dating asks women to give up, why courtship stopped working once the family structures that used to vet men disappeared, and what each nervous system is trying to secure in an argument. It also covers yearning. Martine treats the ache for partnership and children as a creational force with something to make, and the question she brings to God about it is what am I meant to create with this. This one is for anyone dating, waiting, or quietly exhausted by trying to be soft enough and ambitious enough at the same time. "A woman cannot deepen into femininity. She can only remember it." — Martine De Luna KEY TAKEAWAYS Why "how do I become more feminine" is the wrong question The contradictory instructions modern women are handed daily What biological relating is, and why it sits under every relationship What each nervous system is really trying to secure in a fight Feminine desire and yearning, and what to do with the ache Where "God will just send him" actually came from FEATURED IDEA Femininity cannot be performed, because performance is the thing that removes it. Martine's position is that femininity is a woman's unconflicted natural state. Every course promising to make her more feminine therefore treats a symptom as a deficiency, and the self-monitoring those courses produce is itself the departure from it. Her question about origin does different work: where did you learn that being claimed required you to leave part of yourself behind? Answering that is a matter of remembering, which is work a woman can actually do. TIMESTAMPS 0:00 - Welcome, and why this conversation now 3:07 - What has shifted for women in dating 5:23 - Soft but ambitious, sexual but not too much 10:16 - Why "how do I become more feminine" fails 12:43 - What biological relating actually means 15:11 - Where did you learn to leave your body 22:07 - What couples are really fighting about 24:30 - What each nervous system is securing 29:21 - Yearning, and why it is not a pathology 36:36 - Is this desire creational or a demand 43:25 - What modern dating asks women to give up 50:41 - Where "God will just send him" came from 53:04 - Receiving yourself before receiving a man 1:02:10 - Soulmates, resentment and the worst advice RESOURCES AND CONNECT ABOUT MARTINE DE LUNA Martine is a wife of nearly two decades in covenant union, and a mother of a preteen daughter and a teenage son. Her devotion to family, faith, and the maturation of womanhood from menarche to menopause shapes all she teaches. For 14 years, she has guided women through biological design and relationship dynamics, drawing from faith in God, from the natural laws, and from the rite-of-passage wisdom threaded into feminine biology. Working with clients at the level of the psyche, Martine teaches women that their symptoms and behaviours aren't problems to fix, but invitations to a return to womanhood as a sacred office written into the body, by God Himself. Instagram: www.instagram.com/femininewomanhood Follow/Reach SarahInstagram: www.instagram.com/sarahblackahEmail: [email protected]   Mentioned in this episode: Dr John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. The reference point for the nervous system differences Martine describes, and the source of the suggestion that a woman sit in public without her phone and simply feel herself in the world of men. Gillian Pothier, for the phrase "creational yin" Eartha Kitt, paraphrased This week, catch yourself once in the act of self-monitoring. The pause before you send the text, the edit you make to sound less like yourself. Then ask Martine's question instead of the usual one. Where did I learn that being chosen meant leaving part of myself behind? #TheReceivingEdge #FeminineEnergy #ModernDating #MasculineFeminine #ChristianDating #FeminineDesire #DatingIn2026See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.