The Love Dare, Episode 13, Day 13: Love fights fair

Me” boundaries are rules you personally practice on your own. Here are some of the most effective examples: 1. I will listen first before speaking. “Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19). The one who listens first consistently has the advantage in a fight. You should always approach sensitive issues by respectfully asking questions rather than making assumptions or unleashing accusations. 2. I will deal with my own issues up-front. “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3). If you quickly admit where you were wrong and apologize first, you disarm your spouse and neutralize the ammo they were using against you while leading the way for them to deal with their mistakes as well. 3. I will speak gently and keep my voice down. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). People tend to mirror their enemy in a fight. The more intense you get, the more intense they get. The more humble and tender you become, the more humble and tender they become. Let how you are speaking be laced with love regardless of what you are saying. Fighting fair means changing your weapons. Disagreeing with dignity. Building a bridge instead of burning one down. Love is not a fight, but it is always worth fighting for. TODAY'S DARE Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs. ____ Check here when you’ve completed today’s dare. If your spouse participated with you, what was their response? What rules did you write for yourself?