The Man Running Disaster Response Thinks He Teleported

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit michaelfanone.substack.comThe person helping run disaster response in the United States says God teleported him to a Waffle House.Yeah. That’s where we are.Not a meme account. Not a random Facebook uncle. A senior FEMA official—someone whose portfolio includes hurricanes, floods, wildfires, and the moments when Americans have lost everything and need the government to function like a grown-up.His name is Gregg Phillips, and he’s running FEMA’s Office of Response and Recovery—the part of FEMA that’s central to what happens after disaster strikes. CNN reported the “teleportation” claims, and Phillips later tried to reframe the language—saying it wasn’t “teleportation,” it was more like being “transported” or “translated” by God while he was battling cancer and heavily medicated. FEMA has downplayed it as personal, informal remarks from a difficult time.Call it teleportation. Call it translation. Call it divine Uber.If you’re the guy responsible for coordinating response and recovery when people are trapped on rooftops, when towns are underwater, when families are begging for generators and medicine, and you’re publicly telling stories about supernatural transportation—people have a right to ask whether you belong anywhere near that job.The Michael Fanone Show is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.And the “teleportation” story is only the hook. The bigger issue is what it represents: a government that keeps elevating people not because they’re competent, not because they’ve earned it, but because they fit the political vibe. Phillips has a long record of pushing election conspiracy narratives, and multiple outlets describe him as aligned with far-right activism before landing in this role.Here’s the part that would be funny if it weren’t so dangerous: when reporters went looking for evidence, it got even weirder. The New York Times sent a reporter to Rome, Georgia and talked to staff and regulars at local Waffle Houses. Nobody remembered the guy who says he appeared there out of thin air.Again, I don’t actually care whether the Waffle House incident “happened.” People say wild things all the time.I care that this is the caliber of leadership being put in charge of disaster response while the same political world talks about hollowing FEMA out, cutting it back, and pushing responsibility onto states like disasters politely stop at state lines.Disasters don’t care about your ideology. Floodwater doesn’t check your voter registration. Tornadoes don’t care who you retweeted. When the system fails, it’s not pundits who suffer—it’s families in shelters, people waiting on insulin, communities trying to rebuild with nothing.Emergency management is not a place for loyalty hires. It’s not a place for conspiratorial thinking. It’s not a place for people who treat reality like a suggestion.And here’s the irony that writes itself: FEMA has long had something informally known as the “Waffle House Index”—a shorthand for how hard a community has been hit based on whether Waffle House is open, partially open, or closed. The darker the situation, the more likely the Waffle House is shut down. FEMA has even acknowledged it over the years as a useful, common-sense signal.So yes—Waffle House matters in disaster response.But it’s not supposed to be because the guy running response and recovery says he got there by divine teleportation.Look, I’m not here to mock faith. People draw strength from faith every day. I’ve seen it. I respect it.What I don’t respect is replacing competence with vibes and calling it leadership.Public service is supposed to be about the public. And when you’ve got millions of Americans one hurricane season away from needing FEMA to work, this isn’t a joke. It’s a warning.If you’re tired of watching critical institutions get treated like political toys, don’t just laugh and scroll. Share this. Talk about it. Ask why the bar for these jobs has dropped below “must be anchored in reality.”Because the people hollowing the country out are counting on everyone else being too exhausted to pay attention.🟧 Paid subscribers get 15% off your next merch order🟧 Founding Members get 20% off for lifeYou’ll get the link in your welcome email.GET DISCOUNTS BELOW! ENJOY!