The Moment that Stuck | Chani Heyman on Raising Kids Who Stay Close as They Grow

Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons.How do you instill Jewish values from a young age, while leaving space for a child to grow into them on their own? In this conversation, we talk about why Judaism has to start as routine for young children before it becomes relationship, why “yes, unless you have a value to say no” changes everything with a teenager, the importance of physical touch in raising healthy children, and why mourning openly when our children's religious choices look differently than ours do can do real damage, even when it comes from love. This is a conversation about giving our children strong roots in their Judaism, and navigating the evolution from childhood to adulthood, as they begin to make their own choices in their relationship with G-d.Chani Heyman is a dynamic parenting coach, motivational speaker, educator, and Torah teacher who's passionate about empowering families to thrive. Originally from Los Angeles, Chani now calls Israel home. With a background rooted in the timeless wisdom of Rebbetzin Spetner and her own experiences as a mother of eight, Chani shares practical and inspiring guidance with parents worldwide.Through her engaging group classes, popular parenting column, and vibrant Instagram community @parentingwithchani, Chani sparks meaningful connections and helps families unlock their full potential. Find out more at https://theparentingclub.info.* * * * * * *To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.* * * * * * *TIMESTAMPS:00:00 How to build Yiddishkeit routines that feel as natural as brushing teeth01:06 Building the routine: start at the smallest sustainable level06:24 The teen shift09:13 Foundation vs. peer pressure10:45 The reframe: “Yes, unless you have a value to say no”11:38 Choosing your battles 12:49 “Copy paste” — are we raising kids to replicate our table, or to be halachically their own person?14:41 Finding a rav to define the lowest level that is still 100% halacha — the loose-fitting-pants story16:44 When your child doesn't look like you17:44 Is “because it would make my mother happy” a legitimate motivation for a teen’s mitzvah observance?21:43 Why building the habit before the meaning arrives is so much easier than trying to build both at once at 2022:17 Parental fear and projection 22:34 For ba’alei teshuva parents specifically — “I’m trying to give you what I didn’t have,” and why force backfires23:33 Beyond 100% halacha — what it looks like when a child’s practice truly diverges25:36 “Keep your relationship strong” 27:03 The sapling-and-tree image 28:17 The emotional baseline — what it is, and why it differs by age28:26 Ten minutes of true one-on-one time30:33 For teens: it’s not about the ten minutes, it’s about being available the moment they want you32:15 Modeling adult relationships 33:37 Physical touch as an emotional need 35:40 The mother who couldn’t remember the last time she’d touched her 19-year-old son38:45 Host's Outro