The Money Reckoning: Can I move my work from transaction to gift? With Roni Wiener

I have been writing The Money Reckoning blog, untangling money at work, following a groundbreaking team change how they pay themselves.I didn’t expect that I’d be tested.I was recently asked to “value my time.” I've been questioning transactional vs gift nonviolent approaches.Before, I would have responded with a rate.Now, here’s a chance to actually try something different. But what, and how?So I turned to a mentor, Roni Wiener, a brilliant nonviolent facilitator, who is walking the talk – moving from highly-paid consulting to offering their work as a gift – and sustaining much of their life through gifts.I was fascinated – how would that even work?So I asked Roni for a call, and we recorded our conversation. Follow The Money Reckoning blog series.Watch the video interview with Roni here.THE IMPACT. Roni Wiener teaches groups to make decisions that care for everyone, on transforming collaboration and in partnership with nonviolence organizations like NGL. THE JOURNEY. Roni has moved from highly-paid consulting in the traditional capitalist model to offering their work as a gift – and sustaining their life with gifts.  Here are the lessons I learned from Roni about the critical steps toward working in a gift economy:We’re not in a gift economy – but we might be preparing“We cannot actually operate in a gift economy, it is not possible for us to have enough access to gifts to meet needs.”In an exchange culture, money is needed, but money is not a need“Technically, money is not a need. What I really need is food and housing. You could gift me food to care for me. Sadly, our culture is not set up that way.”Knowing my audience: where and who matters“Sometimes it just doesn't make sense. At the local grocery store, I'm not going to start a conversation with them about: are you willing to gift me the groceries?”Before talking to a client, I need to talk to myself “It really helps to have that clarity, because the conversation might already be uncomfortable because we're talking about money, or because we're talking about quite a change from the mainstream.”Getting to numbers – knowing my limits“Am I willing to receive zero? Is that an option? Hold clear limits. Otherwise, you may appear open to receiving nothing – that leads to friction and conflict.”Getting to numbers – not my value, but my needs“I'm not interested in ‘how much is my time worth’? I'm interested in ‘what would be sustainable for me to be able to offer this time as a gift to you?’”Getting to numbers – not yes or no, but getting creative“With one organization, their financial situation fluctuates. This didn’t come from me, they proposed it: what if we just look at the end of every month, and we just send you what we have left? Let's try it and see. I don't even know how much money that's gonna be. It was a complete mystery.”Getting to numbers – my tolerance for risk“ These are real consequences if we are not able to pay for things we have committed to paying, like housing. Really think through and not overstretch.” Find the right amount of stretch“If you try to do too much too fast, and you end up not receiving enough money, you may get discouraged with the whole thing. And then you just stop trying.”De-linking giving and receiving“In a true gift economy, there is no link between gifting and receiving. I would gift you something, and receive from somewhere, not from you. That's not possible yet. I'm working to make that link less strong.”Connecting to my privilege and class status“Privilege in some ways makes it easier to have these experiments, because you have financial resources to lean on. And in some ways it's harder, because you're so used to leaning on money as a solution to all problems.”This shift is a lifelong project“ It's a big transition. This touches so many things: scarcity thinking; getting reconnected with generosity, with trust in life; increasing our risk tolerance; engaging with our addiction to comfort.”