The Moon And Sixpence 12.4

"Damn itall, there are your children to think of. They've never done you any harm. Theydidn't ask to be brought into the world. If you chuck everything like this,they'll be thrown on the streets."They'vehad a good many years of comfort. It's much more than the majority of childrenhave. Besides, somebody will look after them. When it comes to the point, theMacAndrews will pay for their schooling. ""Butaren't you fond of them? They're such awfully nice kids. Do you mean to say youdon't want to have anything more to do with them?""I likedthem all right when they were kids, but now they're growing up I haven't gotany particular feeling for them. ""It's justinhuman. ""I daresay. ""You don'tseem in the least ashamed. ""I'm not."I tried anothertack."Everyonewill think you a perfect swine. ""Let them.""Won't itmean anything to you to know that people loathe and despise you?""No."His briefanswer was so scornful that it made my question, natural though it was, seemabsurd. I reflected for a minute or two."I wonderif one can live quite comfortably when one's conscious of the disapproval ofone's fellows? Are you sure it won't begin to worry you? Everyone has some sortof a conscience, and sooner or later it will find you out. Supposing your wifedied, wouldn't you be tortured by remorse?"He did notanswer, and I waited for some time for him to speak. At last I had to break thesilence myself.“他妈的，你得想想自己的孩子啊。他们从来没有做过对不起你的事。他们不是自己要求到这个世界上来的。如果你这样把一家人都扔了，他们就只好流浪街头了。”“他们已经过了不少年舒服日子了。大多数孩子都没有享过这么大的福。再说，总有人养活他们。必要的时候，麦克安德鲁夫妇可以供他们上学的。”“可是，你难道不喜欢他们吗？你的两个孩子多么可爱啊！你的意思是，你不想再同他们有任何关系了吗？”“孩子小的时候我确实喜欢他们，可是现在他们都长大了，我对他们没有什么特殊的感情了。”“你简直太没有人性了。”“我看就是这样的。”“你一点儿也不觉得害臊。”“我不害臊。”我想再变换一个手法。“谁都会认为你是个没有人性的坏蛋。”“让他们这样想去吧。”“所有的人都讨厌你、鄙视你，这对你一点儿都无所谓吗？”“无所谓。”他那短得不能再短的回答使得我提出的问题（尽管我的问题提得很有道理）显得非常荒谬。我想了一两分钟。“我怀疑，如果一个人知道自己的亲戚朋友都责骂自己，他能不能心安理得地活下去。你准知道你就一点儿无动于衷吗？谁都不能没有一点儿良心，早晚你会受到良心谴责的。假如你的妻子死了，你难道一点儿也不悔恨吗？”他并没有回答我的问题，我等了一会儿，看他是不是开口。最后我不得不自己打破沉寂。