The Moon And Sixpence 15.6

It was angerthat had seized Mrs. Strickland, and her pallor was the pallor of a cold andsudden rage. She spoke quickly now, with little gasps."I couldhave forgiven it if he'd fallen desperately in love with someone and gone offwith her. I should have thought that natural. I shouldn't really have blamedhim. I should have thought he was led away. Men are so weak, and women are sounscrupulous. But this is different. I hate him. I'll never forgive him now."ColonelMacAndrew and his wife began to talk to her together. They were astonished.They told her she was mad. They could not understand. Mrs. Strickland turneddesperately to me."Don't yousee?" she cried."I'm notsure. Do you mean that you could have forgiven him if he'd left you for awoman, but not if he's left you for an idea? You think you're a match for theone, but against the other you're helpless?"Mrs. Stricklandgave me a look in which I read no great friendliness, but did not answer.Perhaps I had struck home. She went on in a low and trembling voice:"I neverknew it was possible to hate anyone as much as I hate him. Do you know, I'vebeen comforting myself by thinking that however long it lasted he'd want me atthe end? I knew when he was dying he'd send for me, and I was ready to go; I'dhave nursed him like a mother, and at the last I'd have told him that it didn'tmatter, I'd loved him always, and I forgave him everything. "一阵狂怒这时突然把思特里克兰德太太攫住，她的一张脸气得煞白，一点血色也没有。下面的话她说得很快，每说几个字就喘一口气。“他要是发疯地爱上一个人，同她逃跑，我是能够原谅他的。我会认为这种事是很自然的。我不会太责备他。我会想他是被拐骗走的。男人心肠很软，女人又什么手段都使得出来。但是现在却不是这么回事。我恨他。我现在永远也不会原谅他了。”麦克安德鲁上校和他的妻子一起劝解她。他们感到很吃惊。他们说她发疯了。他们不理解她。思特里克兰德太太在一阵绝望中向我求援。“你明白我的意思吗？”她喊道。“我不敢说。你的意思是：如果他为了一个女人离开你，你是可以宽恕他的；如果他为了一个理想离开你，你就不能了，对不对？你认为你是前者的对手，可是同后者较量起来，就无能为力了，是不是这样？”思特里克兰德太太狠狠地盯了我一眼，没有说什么。也许我的话说中了她的要害。她继续用低沉的、颤抖的声音说：“我还从来没有象恨他这样恨过一个人呢。你知道，我一直宽慰自己说，不管这件事继续多久，最终他还是要我的。我想在他临终的时候他会叫我去，我也准备去。我会象一个母亲那样看护他，最后我还会告诉他，过去的事我不记在心里，我一直爱他，他做的任何事我都原谅他。”