The Moon And Sixpence 37.1

Thecircumstances of Blanche Stroeve's death necessitated all manner of dreadfulformalities, but at last we were allowed to bury her. Dirk and I alone followedthe hearse to the cemetery. We went at a foot-pace, but on the way back wetrotted, and there was something to my mind singularly horrible in the way thedriver of the hearse whipped up his horses. It seemed to dismiss the dead witha shrug of the shoulders. Now and then I caught sight of the swaying hearse infront of us, and our own driver urged his pair so that we might not remainbehind. I felt in myself, too, the desire to get the whole thing out of mymind. I was beginning to be bored with a tragedy that did not really concernme, and pretending to myself that I spoke in order to distract Stroeve, Iturned with relief to other subjects."Don't youthink you'd better go away for a bit?" I said. "There can be no objectin your staying in Paris now. "He did notanswer, but I went on ruthlessly:"Have youmade any plans for the immediate future?""No.""You musttry and gather together the threads again. Why don't you go down to Italy andstart working?"勃朗什·施特略夫死后因为情况复杂需要一关一关地办理许多道手续，但是最后我们还是取得了殡葬的许可证。跟随柩车到墓地去送葬的只有我同戴尔克两个人。去的时候走得很慢，回来的路上马车却小跑起来，柩车的车夫不断挥鞭抽打辕马，在我心上引起一种奇怪的恐怖感，仿佛是马车夫耸耸肩膀想赶快把死亡甩在后面似的。我坐在后面一辆马车上不时地看到前边摇摇摆摆的柩车；我们的马车夫也不断加鞭，不让自己的车辆落后。我感到我自己也有一种赶快把这件事从心里甩掉的愿望。对这件实际上与我毫不相干的悲剧我已开始厌烦了，我找了另外一些话题同施特略夫谈起来；虽然我这样做是为了解除自己的烦闷，却骗自己说是为了给施特略夫分一分神。“你是不是觉得还是到别的地方去走一走的好？”我说，“现在再待在巴黎对你说毫无意义了。”他没有回答我，我却紧追不舍地问下去：“你对于今后这一段日子有什么安排吗？”“没有。”“你一定得重新振作起来。为什么不到意大利去重新开始画画儿呢？”