The Moon And Sixpence 38.4

To me it washis broken spirit that expressed itself, and I rebelled against hisrenunciation. But I kept my own counsel.

"What madeyou think of being a painter?" I asked.

He shrugged hisshoulders.

"Ithappened that I had a knack for drawing. I got prizes for it at school. My poormother was very proud of my gift, and she gave me a box of water-colours as apresent. She showed my sketches to the pastor and the doctor and the judge. Andthey sent me to Amsterdam to try for a scholarship, and I won it. Poor soul,she was so proud; and though it nearly broke her heart to part from me, shesmiled, and would not show me her grief. She was pleased that her son should bean artist. They pinched and saved so that I should have enough to live on, andwhen my first picture was exhibited they came to Amsterdam to see it, my fatherand mother and my sister, and my mother cried when she looked at it. " Hiskind eyes glistened. "And now on every wall of the old house there is oneof my pictures in a beautiful gold frame. "

He glowed withhappy pride. I thought of those cold scenes of his, with their picturesquepeasants and cypresses and olive-trees. They must look queer in their garishframes on the walls of the peasant house.

这一番话我听着象是他意志消沉的自白，我不同意他这种自暴自弃的态度。但是我也不想同他争辩，宣讲我的处世方针。

“是什么使你想起当画家来呢？”我问他道。

他耸了耸肩膀。

“我凑巧有点儿绘画的才能。在学校读书的时候画图画得过奖。我的可怜的母亲很为我这种本领感到自豪，买了一盒水彩送给我。她还把我的图画拿给牧师、医生和法官去看。后来这些人把我送到阿姆斯特丹，让我试一试能不能考取奖学金入大学。我考取了。可怜的母亲，她骄傲得了不得。尽管同我分开使她非常难过，她还是强颜欢笑，不叫我看出她的伤心来。她非常高兴，自己的儿子能成为个艺术家。他们老两口省吃俭用，好叫我能够维持生活。当我的第一幅绘画参加展出的时候，他们到阿姆斯特丹看来了，我的父亲、母亲和妹妹都来了。我的母亲看见我的图画，眼泪都流出来了。”说到这里，施特略夫自己的眼睛也挂上了泪花。“现在老家的屋子四壁都挂着我的一张张画，镶在漂亮的金框子里。”

他的一张脸因为幸福的骄傲而闪闪发亮。我又想起来他画的那些毫无生气的景物，穿得花花绿绿的农民啊、丝柏树啊、橄榄树啊什么的。这些画镶着很讲究的金框子，挂在一家村舍的墙上是多么不伦不类呀！