The Moon And Sixpence 42.2

He placed apicture on the easel, and let me look at it for a minute or two; then took itdown and put another in its place. I think he showed me about thirty canvases.It was the result of the six years during which he had been painting. He hadnever sold a picture. The canvases were of different sizes. The smaller werepictures of still-life and the largest were landscapes. There were about half adozen portraits.

"That isthe lot, " he said at last.

I wish I couldsay that I recognised at once their beauty and their great originality. Nowthat I have seen many of them again and the rest are familiar to me inreproductions, I am astonished that at first sight I was bitterly disappointed.I felt nothing of the peculiar thrill which it is the property of art to give.The impression that Strickland's pictures gave me was disconcerting; and thefact remains, always to reproach me, that I never even thought of buying any. Imissed a wonderful chance. Most of them have found their way into museums, andthe rest are the treasured possessions of wealthy amateurs. I try to findexcuses for myself. I think that my taste is good, but I am conscious that ithas no originality. I know very little about painting, and I wander alongtrails that others have blazed for me. At that time I had the greatestadmiration for the impressionists. I longed to possess a Sisley and a Degas,and I worshipped Manet. His Olympia seemed to me the greatest picture of moderntimes, and Le Dejeuner sur l'Herbe moved me profoundly. These works seemed tome the last word in painting.

他把一幅画放在画架上，叫我看一两分钟，然后取下来再放上另一张。我估计他一共给我看了三十来张。这是他作画以来六年的成绩。他一张也没有出售。画幅小一些的是静物，最大的是风景。有半打左右是人物、肖像。

“就是这些，”最后他说。

我真希望当时我就能看出这些画如何美、具有如何伟大的独创的风格。这些画里面有许多幅我后来又有机会重新欣赏过，另外一些通过复制品我也非常熟悉了；我真有些奇怪，当我初次看画的时候，为什么居然感到非常失望。我当时丝毫也没有感到艺术品本应该给我的那种奇异的激动。我看到思特里克兰德的绘画，只有一种惶惑不安的感觉；实际上，我当时根本没有想到要购买一幅，这是我永远不能原谅自己的。我真是失去了一个大好的机会。这些画大多数后来都被博物院收买去了，其余的则成为有钱的艺术爱好者的珍藏品。我努力给自己找一些辩解。我认为我还是有鉴赏力的，只不过我认识到自己缺少创见。我对于绘画了解得不多，我只是沿着别人替我开辟的路径走下去。当时我最佩服的是印象派画家，渴望弄到一张西斯莱①或德加②的作品，另外，我对马奈也非常崇拜，他的那幅《奥林庇亚》我觉得是当代最伟大的绘画，《草地上的早餐》也使我非常感动。我认为在当代绘画中再也没有别的作品能超过这几幅画了。

①阿尔弗雷德。西斯莱（1839—1899），法国画家。

②埃德迦。德加（1834—1917），法国画家。