The Moon And Sixpence 7.3

That must bethe story of innumerable couples, and the pattern of life it offers has ahomely grace. It reminds you of a placid rivulet, meandering smoothly throughgreen pastures and shaded by pleasant trees, till at last it falls into thevasty sea; but the sea is so calm, so silent, so indifferent, that you aretroubled suddenly by a vague uneasiness. Perhaps it is only by a kink in mynature, strong in me even in those days, that I felt in such an existence, theshare of the great majority, something amiss. I recognised its social values, Isaw its ordered happiness, but a fever in my blood asked for a wilder course.There seemed to me something alarming in such easy delights. In my heart was adesire to live more dangerously. I was not unprepared for jagged rocks andtreacherous shoals if I could only have change -- change and the excitement ofthe unforeseen.

这一定是世间无数对夫妻的故事。这种生活模式给人以安详亲切之感。它使人想到一条平静的小河，蜿蜒流过绿茸茸的牧场，与郁郁的树荫交相掩映，直到最后泻入烟波浩渺的大海中。但是大海却总是那么平静，总是沉默无言、声色不动，你会突然感到一种莫名的不安。也许这只是我自己的一种怪想法（就是在那些日子这种想法也常在我心头作祟），我总觉得大多数人这样度过一生好象欠缺一点什么。我承认这种生活的社会价值，我也看到了它的井然有序的幸福，但是我的血液里却有一种强烈的愿望，渴望一种更狂放不羁的旅途。这种安详宁静的快乐好象有一种叫我惊惧不安的东西。我的心渴望一种更加惊险的生活。只要在我的生活中能有变迁 ——变迁和无法预见的刺激，我是准备踏上怪石嶙峋的山崖，奔赴暗礁满布的海滩的。